C is for Change
by sapphire blue-ruby red roses
Summary: Kanda and Allen are forced into cleaning one of the Science Department storage rooms after a particularly destructive fight. Lavi and Lenalee come to see how they're doing. Let's just say, two of them end up switching genders. Now, what kind trouble can their little group manage to get into this time? rating may change later
1. Chapter 1: Turning

**This is the first story in a challenge I've bestowed on myself where I have to decide on a prompt for each letter of the alphabet and then write a story/one-shot for each letter, hence the title. Let's see how well this goes, yes? :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man**

Chapter 1: Turning

"Kanda, watch it!" Allen shouted irately as he stumbled into the man standing behind him who was attempting to shove a box up on a shelf that was high for even the tall Asian man. How did they expect the pair to put everything away when they didn't have ladders? They weren't going to climb on each other's shoulders to get the job done, that was for sure.

"You watch it, beansprout! I'm the one putting something up!" Kanda snarled back, glaring at the box that teetered precariously on the edge of the shelf as if to warn the thing not to spill its contents over him.

"Do you want what happened to us last time to happen again?" Allen challenged, steadying himself against the solid back of his fellow exorcist and more often than not lover, "I distinctly remember you not being very fond of being a beansprout yourself."

"That was your damn fault and it is going to be this time as well if you don't get the fuck off me right now!" Kanda growled, watching as the box tipped, "If this box drops on us, I'm going to strangle you with my pants."

"Oh, we're taking pants off now? I can go for that," Allen shot at the man, his eyebrow shooting up. Kanda shot him a glare over his shoulder. "Tim, push that box on the shelf, will you?" Allen asked, glancing up at the box. Honestly, he didn't want to end up with long hair again or in Kanda and position. The little golden golem darted up, pressing his face against the side of the box and pushing it fully onto the shelf.

Both boys let out a sigh of relief. Kanda let his hands drop, staring around at the still very dirty room. He let out a snarl, his mind returning to how they'd gotten cleaning duty as a punishment in the first place. It had been the beansprout's fault they'd started fighting in the first place. Why should he get in trouble when Allen had been the one to break the first table?

He shot a glare over at the teen to his side that was sliding several boxes side by side onto a bottom shelf. "It's your fault we got stuck cleaning one of the science department's storage rooms," he grumbled snatching up another box and pushing it onto a lower shelf that he could actually reach.

"How is this my fault?!" Allen cried indignantly, shooting to his feet, "You're the one who started throwing insults first!"

"You're the one who threw the first punch," Kanda shot back not looking down at the smaller male.

Allen ground his teeth in annoyance. He wasn't lying. Allen had been the one to throw the first punch, but he'd only done it because Kanda had called him spineless. He wasn't. He would have pulled the man into a heated kiss, but he would have lost body parts, and a punch to the face had seemed much more inviting.

They were so caught up glaring poisonous daggers at each other and setting the room on fire that they didn't notice Lavi opening the door until it was almost completely open. "Hey, guys! How are you doing? Have you gotten anywhere?" he called happily as he flung the door open.

"Do not open that door anymore!" both boys shouted, glaring at the intrusion. They'd been working up a good heat that could have ended with a good tussle under the covers, but thier dipshit friend had to go ruin it.

Lavi's one visible eye widened. He pulled the door back, glancing behind the wood to find a stack of boxes. He let out a sigh of relief, running his hand down his face. "Thanks for saving my ass there guys."

"**Your** ass? I was saving **my** ass," Kanda snapped, glaring at their red-headed friend.

Lavi moved into the room, grinning as he closed the door behind him. "So, how's the cleaning going? Have you actually gotten anywhere with it?" he asked innocently.

He received twin glares in return. "Does it look like we've gotten anywhere?" Allen grumbled.

"Hey, you guys, I came to see how you were doing," a feminine voice called as the other door was pushed open. The boxes that had stacked one on top of the other in front of the second door slowly started to tip.

All of the guys stopped dead in their tracks, staring wide-eye at the new arrival.

"What?" Lenalee asked in confusion when she didn't receive a reply, pausing before the door was completely open. It was already too late though.

The boxes tipped forward. Their contents spilled across the floor. Liquids, powders and gases held in various glass bottles and small almost insignificant trinkets flooded towards the three males. They stumbled back pressing themselves against the opposite wall as far back as they could, but it was useless. Several bottles smashed against the stone, releasing their contents over the trio. A large, dense pink cloud exploded throughout the small room.

"Dammit, Lenalee!" a female voice raging closer to the alto range shouted angrily. Banging echoed through the room. "Get off me, baka usagi!"

"Is everyone alright?" Allen called over the irate female, obscured only by the cloud. Coughing echoed from four people as Lenalee stared on in a mixture of mirth and horror. The smoke was already beginning to clear, and she was beginning to piece together the carnage. She could barely hold back her laughter.

"I'm good!" came another, higher voice than the first, "Hey, why does my voice sound so weird? I sound like a chick." The second voice let off a string of laughter.

"Master?" an extra male voice asked timidly.

Lenalee's eyes snapped towards the voice, confusion welling in the pit of her stomach. She was not expecting four voices. "Shit," she whispered as she realized what had happened. The scene had finally become clear even if the others still couldn't see through the light sheen of smoke that still lingered.

"Who the hell was that?" growled the first female voice, "because I sure as hell know that wasn't the damn beansprout."

"It's Allen," Allen shot back.

"Master?" came that second male voice once more, drawing ever closer to the unsuspecting teen.

Allen let out a shout of surprise when a warm body pressed to his back. "What?" he cried. He glanced around to find a tall teen leaning over his shoulder, golden locks dripping into startling golden eyes a shade lighter than his hair.

"Who the fuck is that, and why is he naked?" the first female asked, glaring at the new arrival. She didn't take too kindly to him hanging all over **her** beansprout. "Wait, does he have wings?" she asked after a moment, perplexed. Sure enough, golden wings sprouted off the teen's back, folded against his back so they didn't knock anything else over.

"Guys! Guys!" the second female cried excitedly, flapping his arms, her strikingly red hair flopping into her eyes. She pushed it out of her face so she could stare at the four others. All four turned the eyes onto the small girl. "I have boobs!" Lavi's clothes hung off of her smaller frame, dropping off one shoulder precariously. Her pants hung low on her hips, already dropping into the danger zone. The other female with long black hair that had escaped its ponytail sat in a puddle of clothes much like her.

Allen suppressed the urge to let off a bout of laughter as he was finally able to make out what had happened to his two companions. The two male exorcists had been turned completely female.

"Do you... have the other part too?" Allen asked, simply out of pure curiosity for how far the science department had been able to take this little experiment.

Lavi frowned rubbing her legs together. "Yeah know, I don't know," she said, pulling her pants and underwear out and looking down the once tight material. "Yep!" she affirmed happily, letting her pants drop back to their original position.

"Well, that fucking sucks for you," Kanda snapped, slowly pushing herself to her feet, "Why are my clothes loose? Did I get turned into a kid again?" He ground his teeth at that thought. He's throw a bitch fit if he'd been shrunk again.

This time Allen did laugh. He leaned back into the unidentified boy, holding his sides. After a moment, he fell sideways, the boy's arms wrapping around him to keep him off the floor. "Allen?" the boy asked, curiosity and laughter lighting his own eyes.

"Get off moyashi," Kanda snarled at the boy then directed her fury at the one being hung on, "What the fuck are you laughing at?"

"Kanda," Allen choked out, looking to the small female, swallowing down more laughter, "You're in the exact same boat."

"I'm **what**?" Kanda shouted just as her pants slipped down around her ankles. The entire room's occupant's stared on with wide eyes, several faces turning cherry red. Kanda's was not one of them. She glanced down her front, her mouth dropping open. "**What the fuck**?"

"He's angry! He's angry!" Lavi shouted, giggling as she scrambled towards Lenalee, hiding behind her legs. She peeked out around the other female, watching the rest of the scene unfold from a safe distance.

"I think the correct pronoun now is 'she'," Allen corrected with a smirk, the red flushing his cheeks already fading.

"Allen!" Lenalee snapped. She didn't need any bloodshed on top of the predicament they were in, but Kanda already had a fist full of his collar.

"Want to run that by me again, beansprout?" Kanda snarled, her shirt hanging dangerously low as she attempted to keep her pants around her hips.

"You have a vagina instead of a dick now," Allen taunted, leaning in close so that his warm breath fanned across her face, fluttering her bangs.

Heat flooded across her face, something that hadn't happened often in her male body. It was a curious feeling. She had to resist the urge to both pull him in and devour him, or punch him in the face. Both sounded very inviting, but she wasn't particularly sure how her new body worked, so she'd have to wait till they were alone for at least one of them. She could beat the living daylights out of him later when they weren't still in a storage room full of disasters waiting to happen. "And yet I still have bigger balls than you," she quipped.

"You would know."

"Master," the smooth voice of the teen whined, nuzzling Allen's hair affectionately, trying to gain his attention.

Kanda was jerked from their scuffle, snapping her glare back up to the new nuisance. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Timcanpy," the teen said indignantly, flicking Kanda in her forehead.

Kanda snarled reaching for the teen's throat, but Allen grabbed her wrist. "Tim?" he asked.

Tim nodded enthusiastically.

Lenalee stood at the door doing a poor job of containing her giggles. "So, Kanda and Lavi got turned into girls. Timcanpy is human. And Allen..." This time, she did break out laughing. She fell against the doorframe, already clutching at her side.

"That's not fair," Lavi whined, slapping her hands on the ground at her sides.

Kanda scowled. "How the hell did you only end up with long hair again?"

"I guess I'm just lucky."

"Go fuck yourself."

He replied with a quick, "Nah, that's what I've got you for," waggling his eyebrows at her. She shoved him back, standing and stomping from the room. Lenalee and Allen just laughed.

**Whelp, there you go. The first chapter. I hope this was interesting. I'm hoping it'll get really interesting really fast with the few things I have planned.**

**How was it? Did it suck? Was it okay? Were the characters too OCC?**


	2. Chapter 2: Helpful and Unhelpful

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man in any way shape or form.**

Chapter 2: Helpful and Unhelpful

"Hm, well this is the interesting predicament," Komui said casually as he sipped at his coffee leisurely, like this was just another normal day at Headquarters. Truthfully, it was. He looked over the group of teens before him, trying his damnedest not to break down laughing. The entire scene was just one comical mess. He always looked forward to their return home because something interesting always happened when they were all together.

Both Lavi and Kanda had been forced into borrowing Lenalee's clothes, but they were loose in some places and tight in others. Lavi bounced around happily in a short white skirt and shirt too loose around the chest. Kanda slumped broodingly on the couch in a pair of black shorts and shirt that was too tight across her chest.

"I don't know how you wear these things," Kanda griped, once again adjusting the thing holding her new boobs up.

Lenalee slapped her hand away, readjusting her shirt. "Stop messing with it, it'll only make it worse," she snapped, pinning the swordsman's arms to her sides. "I'm so sorry, Kanda, that you have bigger boobs than me and this was the best bra that fit," she said sarcastically.

"I don't have to wear one," Lavi said, dropping down into the seat beside them, "Come on, Yu, lighten up!"

"Don't call me that," Kanda snapped.

Lenalee sighed. "Like babysitting," she murmured, rubbing her forehead, "You do need to wear a bra, Lavi, but I don't have a bra small enough that will fit you so you that's why you just have to wear a sports bra."

Komui moved his eyes away from them to the other end of the couch which sat Allen and the newly human Timcanpy.

"Tim, stop trying to take your clothes off. You need them. You can't go running around naked!" Allen cried, pulling at the T-shirt hem Tim had clutched in his fists.

"No!" Tim protested loudly. Reaching out a lean hand he yanked on the loose strands of snowy hair falling around Allen's form which they hadn't gotten the chance to pull back before Reever and Komui had found them.

Allen swatted the golem's hand away. "Ow! Dammit, Tim! Don't pull my hair!"

Komui chuckled to himself over the rim of his mug. Eyes turned to him. "Do something!" three out of the five shouted even as they struggled to get their way.

"I'm sorry, but I simply can't at the moment," he informed, taking pleasure in watching the expressions of each teen morph ranging from ecstatic to pissed to horrified.

"What do you mean you can't do anything?" Kanda snarled, her voice low and menacing even in its higher pitch.

Sipping again, Komui casually slid papers across his desk, not really reading them. "Well, as I've explained to you before, the experiments conducted by the Science Department don't really have cures because they were for the most part failures. Lavi and Kanda, yours seems to be slightly long term, while Allen and Tim, yours are more of the short term variety, though they could still last just as long as the long term."

"How long is long term?" Lavi asked, kicking his legs up and down without a care in the world or a care for who could see up her flapping skirt.

"It could easily be anywhere from 3 months to a year. We're not all that sure." Komui smiled, pushing off his desk before Kanda could blow up. "In the meantime while we're formulating cures, you can go about your daily lives. You'll be sent on missions as well, so no worries, this won't affect you as much as you may be thinking. Now if you'd be so kind..." And he was gone, out the door before Kanda could even open her mouth.

"Not as much? **Not as much**?" The volcano known as Kanda Yu had blown. She raged around the office, kicking up and destroying papers that were all around her. After around thirty minutes of that behavior, she abruptly halted, digging her fingers into the hallow of her pelvis. There was an almost imperceptible twitch of her eye. The muscles of her jaw clenched as she ground her teeth together.

Lenalee grimaced. She knew that look all too well. She quickly made a mental note to consult her brother on certain possibilities, and needing to head into town. They'd need to stock up and get clothes.

"Lenalee, my boobs hurt," Lavi complained loudly, pressing her hands over her chest and kneading her small breasts. "Are boobs supposed to hurt like this because if they are, I don't want them."

Lenalee sighed, rubbing at her forehead. "Oh, this is going to be a long couple of months," she muttered, turning away from the group.

"Wait, where are you going?" Allen called, his eyes wide with the horror that he might be stuck babysitting essentially two complaining girls and a little kid. The four scrambled after her, trying to catch up as she was already down the hall.

"To get the two of you and myself chocolate before we continue anything," she said simply, not turning to even acknowledge their presence.

Even being females, both Kanda and Lavi were just the slightest bit taller than Lenalee while still being shorter than Allen. Lavi trotted beside her girlfriend happily, her hair brushing the top of her shoulders, chatting up a storm. Timcanpy walked between Allen and Lenalee, grinning widely. Kanda walked on the outside of their group beside Allen, silent as ever, her clenched jaw the only sign that she was in pain.

"Hey, Kanda, what's wrong? You're really quiet," Allen asked, leaning forward and tilting his head to catch a glimpse of her face past the curtain of black hair creating a barrier between them. His own hair fell over his shoulder, dropping past his waist. He brushed it back, but it just went back to water-falling in front of his shoulder. "Damn," he muttered, shoving it back again.

"You four wait here, or go find a place to sit. I'll go get the chocolate," Lenalee said, standing at the entrance to the cafeteria. She was hesitant about leaving them to their own devices, but she figured it'd be easier and faster if she did it herself. Jerry wouldn't ask as many questions that way.

Lavi poked her head into the cafeteria, glancing around the nearly empty space. It wasn't meal time, and half of the tables were destroyed, the pieces stacked against the wall, so there were very few people occupying the area. "Let's go sit down," she said, grinning back at the other three.

"Fine," Kanda muttered, shoving past Lenalee and Lavi to drop down at the table in the most shadowed corner she could find at the furthest distance from the others in the large room. She propped her chin in her hand, creating nonsensical patterns on the well-warn, polished wood with a long finger.

Tim followed after her, his wings flapping in an attempt to get off the floor. He landed in the seat at her right side. "Well, I guess we're sitting over there then," Allen said with a shrug, following the female's path. He sat beside her, watching his lover carefully.

Lenalee smiled a small smile and Lavi pursed her lips. "Those two have got it so bad for each other that I don't think they even notice," Lavi commented, following Lenalee as she moved towards the order window.

Her grin widened as she came to a stop. "Oh, I'm sure they notice, but just not to the extent that we want them to." She wondered idly if Lavi had figured out if the pair were more than just friends. She'd found out a while back simply by accident, and she was sure they didn't know she knew, but they were all too obvious sometimes.

"Hello there, sweetheart, what would you like today?" Jerry asked cheerfully, popping up suddenly at the window. His eyes scanned over Lavi, and she grinned widely up at him. "And who is this delicious little crumpet you've got with you today? She's adorable."

Lenalee sighed, and looked to her boyfriend. "That's Lavi. He got caught in another one of the Science Department's failed experiments," she explained, "Can I have three hot chocolates, please? Can you make one unsweetened?"

"Of course, anything for you, darling," he said as he moved away into the kitchen, but not before calling, "That doesn't look like such a failed experiment to me." He winked at her over his shoulder before turning away to prepare what she'd asked.

Lenalee's face lit up like the fourth of July. She glared off, embarrassment making it impossible for her to even look at her boyfriend. On the other side of the large room, the trio was still in the position they'd been in when they'd sat down.

Allen growled as he fought with his hair, shoving it back every few seconds, but it only fell free. "I have no idea how you deal with having this much hair," he grumbled to Kanda who he thought wasn't listening.

A smirk curved her lips. She took immense pleasure in watching his struggles, seeing as he'd helped her into this predicament. She sighed after several long strained moments. "Stop it, moyashi, or you'll break the strands," she chided, slapping his hands away.

"Well, what else am I supposed to do? It won't stay back," Allen snapped, glaring over at her.

She raised her eyebrow at him. "If you're going to be like that, then I won't help you."

Allen glared at her for the space of a heartbeat before he deflated. "I'm sorry, can you please help me?" he asked, even if a little begrudgingly.

"Yes," she said, throwing one leg over the bench so she was straddling the wood with her back to Timcanpy who watched them curiously over Kanda's shoulder, "Now, give me your back."

With a sigh, Allen mimicked his lover, pulling one leg out from under the table and putting it on the other side of the bench. He hunched his shoulder forward, letting out a giant sigh as his hair fell forward again.

Kanda scooted closer to Allen so that her pelvis was pressing into his butt. He jumped, but she ignored him, leaning forward to gather the hair framing Allen's face into her hands. She pulled it back towards her, gathering it all in one hand.

"What are you going to do?" Allen asked, his voice more curious than cautious.

"What do you think, asshat? I'm pulling it back for you," Kanda replied sharply, tugging on a strand a little harder than was need. She smirked at the snarl that left Allen's mouth. "Don't ask stupid questions, baka moyashi."

"I will if I want to," Allen retorted, only earning himself another sharp tug, "Ouch! Dammit, Kanda, stop that!"

"Then shut up," she replied curtly. She waited for a few moments until she was sure that he wouldn't disturb her for a while. She combed through his soft hair with her fingers, carefully detangling any knots they got caught on. For just a few minutes, she simply brushed through his hair, enjoying the feel of the soft strands sliding across her skin. She hated her own hair, and she couldn't exactly do this with her own, but she loved Allen's, whether short or long. That was one thing she was never going to admit though.

"Hey, Yu, what are you doing?" Lavi asked, bouncing up ahead of Lenalee. She leaned over the table on her elbows from the other side, watching Kanda's fingers work with rapt fascination. "Is his hair soft?"

"Don't call me that," Kanda growled, not taking her eyes away from the task at hand. She divided Allen's hair into three sections, deftly weaving the sections together.

"Can I touch it?" Lavi reached out a hand towards the male's hair, her fingers pausing when she noticed the slow, even breathing of her friend. "I think you put him to sleep, Yu," she giggled, rolling sideways to get a better look at his face. Sure enough, his eyes were closed to the workings of the world around him.

Lenalee slid a steaming mug in front of the working female, glancing over her shoulder to get a glimpse of what she was doing. She smiled softly to herself, placing the other two mugs on the table. "He must be tired," she murmured sweetly, taking a sip from her mug.

"Yeah, whatever," Kanda muttered, patting around her pockets until she finally pulled out a red hair ribbon. She tied off the braid before pulling the teen's leg back under the table and letting his slump against her. She pulled her mug towards her, taking a sip of the murky liquid. Sticking out her tongue, she grumbled, "Ew, what is this?"

"Hot chocolate. Sorry, I asked Jerry not to sweeten it, but maybe the chocolate still had too much sugar. You should drink it though, it'll make you feel better," Lenalee said, giggling as Lavi began chugging hers.

"How is this supposed to help?" Kanda asked disgruntled, taking another experimental sip. She made a face of disgust.

Lenalee pursed her lips, considering actually attempting to explain what she thought, before shaking her head. _No, bad idea_. "I'll tell you tomorrow." She sighed again. Tomorrow was going to be one hell of a day.

**So, how was it? Still interesting?**


	3. Chapter 3: The Dreaded Period

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man!**

Chapter 3: The Dreaded Period

"Lenalee!" Lavi screeched as she went sprinting down the hallway like a chicken with her head cut off, just as the sun was peaking over the horizon. She still wore the baggy pants and shirt she'd worn to bed that night, but she had a blanket wrapped tightly around her waist.

"Jesus, what is that idiot screaming about so early in the morning?" Kanda gripped, snuggling further under the covers, drawn by the warmth of her partner beside her. She passed freezing fingers over the hills and valleys of his muscles, humming in appreciation while a shiver rocked his body.

Allen mumbled under his breath, rolling to bury his nose in her hair, commenting, "My guess would be that he thinks he's dying." On his other side, Tim shuffled around for the hundredth time, pressing his face into Allen's calves. Somehow, the darn teen had ended up on the other side of the bed near their feet. That would be the last night he shared their bed while still human.

"Can that happen? If he doesn't shut up soon, I'm going to kill him myself anyway," Kanda grouched, wrapping possessive legs around Allen's legs. A strange, uncomfortable feeling made itself present immediately. Frowning, she pulled back, lifting the blanket to determine exactly what was causing the discomfort, and stiffened.

"Huh? Kanda, is everything alright?" Allen asked, slowly coming back to the waking world. Before he could clear the blur of sleep from his vision, Kanda had jumped from the bed and stolen the comforter. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Nowhere," she replied even as she exited the room, slamming the door behind her.

He listened to the quick patter of her feet as she hurried away. "What do you think is the matter?" he wondered, looking to his former golem.

Tim shrugged. "Dunno," he said, but then his eyes traveled down, "Maybe that?" He pointed at the sheets beneath them.

"My sheets offended him? That's even too much for me to believe, even when it comes to Kanda," Allen told the golden teen, but his eyes still slipped down. His blood turned to ice as he stared at the stains at his side where Kanda had slept the entire night.

Dark red splotches spotted the thin white material. They looked for the most part fresh.

"B-but we didn't do anything last night. How could he be..." His words trailed off as Lavi's screeches came back to him. "What if he's-" He cut himself off before he could even finish the thought.

Bolting from the bed, Allen didn't even bother scooping up a T-shirt to throw on. He took off down the hall in the direction of Lenalee's room. He could still hear Lavi's cries echoing down the hall that Lenalee's room was at the end of. "Kanda! Lenalee!" he called, quickly spotting to the two girls as they started pounding on Lenalee's closed door.

"**What** do you **want**?" she snapped, flinging he door open before it could be broken down. She was the sweetest person on a normal basis, but the moment she was woken from a dead sleep, she had absolutely zero patients. She took a step back in surprise, her eyebrows jumping into her hair line as her annoyance quickly dissipated into pleasant surprise. "Hey, what's the matter?" she asked, her voice kinder.

"I'm dying!" Lavi shouted, her eyes wide with terror. Kanda stood beside Lavi, her hands clenched so tightly around the blanket covering most of her that her knuckles had turned bone white.

"What do you mean?" she asked even though she already knew the answer. She would take immense pleasure in making the pair squirm, repercussions for disturbing her sleep. Down the hall, she could hear Allen calling not only her name, but Kanda's as well. People were poking their heads out their doors with bloodshot, sleep deprived eyes to investigate what all the commotion was about.

"Get inside," she ushered, pulling the two females into the sanctuary of her room. She waved for Allen, holding the door open until he skidded into the room. Tim, who was once again naked, slammed into his back. She slammed the door behind them, turning to stare at the new occupants of her room.

"So," she began, running a hand through the loose strands of her hair, "Welcome to the first day of your very first periods, gals."

"Our **what**?" both girls cried. Lavi stared at her with that wide, horrified eye of hers, while Kanda narrowed hers.

"Yup, that's what the blood I'm guess you were running to show me is all about. That's why you two are wrapped in the blankets, right?" she asked, grinning with a slight malicious tint to her smile, "Welcome to being a girl."

Deep blushes crawled across both girls' cheeks, making it hard not to laugh. Lenalee smirked, running a hand down her face to return it back to normal before any of them could see. Tim watched her curiously, his head tilted. She continued, ignoring their audience. "That's why your boobs and abdomens were hurting yesterday by the way," she said, pushing off the door.

Kanda puffed up indignantly, glaring at her friend. "You know the whole time, and didn't think to warn us?" she snapped.

"Yep," Lenalee replied without even a blink. She wandered idly over to her desk, pulling out the bottom drawer. She rummaged around until she found the desired objects, and tossed them to the girls across the room, giggling as Lavi's hit her in the face and Kanda caught hers effortlessly.

"What is this?" Kanda growled, staring at the piece of candy he now held. Word scrawled across the front of the tinfoil read 'dark'.

"It's chocolate. Yours is dark chocolate so don't worry, it's not sweet. Eat that before we continue this conversation," she instructed, leaning back on the desk with her own piece. "Here, Allen, you can have some too." Tim pointed to his open mouth questioningly. "Sure, you can have one too Tim." She tossed the pair pieces, and they ate in silence until Kanda spoke up.

"What exactly is a period and what does it entail?" she asked.

"Blood, cramps, bloating, PMS, angst, emotions, pain, depression, despair..." She let her words trailed off as she got the desired terrified reaction. "It's the shedding of the lining of the uterus. It basically means you're fertile and capable of getting pregnant. Also, it means you've reached puberty. Yay, you guys are finally going through puberty," she joked, laughing at the two girls' and Allen's shared expression of disgust.

"I remember my friend, the one who wanted to become a doctor, talking about that once, but I thought he was joking," he confessed, staring at his bare feet sheepishly.

"Well, he wasn't," Lenalee replied, shrugging her shoulders like it was no big deal.

"How long does this last?" Lavi asked, fidgeting with the blanket around her waist, her face contorting in pain.

"Depends on the girl. Could last from 3 days to a week or more, but seeing as this is your first period, it'll probably long and painful," Lenalee explained with a shrug, having a little too much fun exaggerating the details, "Oh, and no sex."

"What? Why not?" Allen spoke up before even Lavi could. He looked downtrodden, his lips puckered in a pout.

"Um, ew," Lenalee said, giving him a grossed out look, "One, that's just gross, but my main reason is that they can still get pregnant. We don't want that, so no sex." She glared him down until he was shrinking in on himself.

His voice became small as he replied, "I wasn't talking about now. I thought you meant while he's a girl." He was easily ignored by the whole of the group. Timcanpy patted his arms reassuringly, staring up at him with a grin from his seat on the floor.

"How can we still get pr... preg... I can't say it," Lavi mumbled, staring at the floor, only glancing up at her from under her lashes.

Lenalee leaned back on her desk, considering the things she could tell them. "Well, your uterus is shedding its lining because there's no need for the extra fluid and what not after the egg has passed, but the egg can linger so there's always that slight 1 in a million chance you may get pregnant. So I say this in all seriousness. No. Sex. Period. End of discussion." She crossed her arms making an 'X' over her chest.

"We get it," Kanda growled, shuffling uncomfortably for a moment before glaring up at the female across from her.

Lenalee watched her in confusion for a long moment before gasping. "Oh crap, sorry you guys, you're probably really uncomfortable and still ruining your clothes," she said, pushing off her desk and moving to her dresser, "Now, you'll only be trading one uncomfortable feeling for another, but you'll be clean. Let's go take nice, soothing baths and then I'll be able to get you some feminine products. Then maybe we'll go into town for a bit."

"F-feminine products?" Lavi stuttered, eyes growing wide.

"Yes, they're a necessity. You don't want to be bleeding all over yours, or **my**, clothes," Lenalee replied curtly, pulling clothes over her arm, tucking a small back under the material, and heading for the door, "With luck, there won't be anybody in there this early." She pulled the door open, turning to smile at Allen. "You're welcome to come with us, Allen. I'm sure Tim needs a bath by now." Really, she was only wanted to bring him along because she knew Kanda would be more at ease with him by her side.

"Sure, I could go for a bath," he replied, smiling widely. He trotted out the door, the most uncomfortable conversation in his life, besides when Cross had given him 'The Talk', already ten miles away in his mind. "I'll meet you guys in the bath."

"Sure thing," she called back, already halfway down the hall.

"Put some damn clothes on Tim!" Kanda called after him, glaring at the tanned ass of his ex-golem. She received only a chuckle and a wave in reply.

Swinging around, her hair slapped Lavi across the face. "That's what you get for invading my bubble," she taunted, a smirk curving her lips. She left the other girl clutching her eyes and moaning in pain, moving to catch up with Lenalee.

They walked in silence, even after Lavi had caught back up. "Which one do we go in?" Lavi asked, curiously staring into the women's changing room as they reached the baths.

"The girl's, I guess," Lenalee said, staring over the other girl's shoulder, checking for any bodies or discarded clothing. She saw neither. "All clear."

"Suite yourselves, I'm using our changing rooms," Kanda said, tossing a towel over her shoulder and folding the clothes she'd been leant over her arm, both of which Lenalee had tossed at him as they came closer to the baths.

"Hold on!" Allen called, hurrying towards them, "Let me check if there is anyone in there first." He disappeared into the room, ignoring Kanda's protests.

"Dammit, beansprout! I'm not helpless!" she shouted, stomping angrily in after the teen.

"I'm gonna go with you," Tim said happily, hopping his way over to Lenalee and Lavi as they ducked into the second room. He draped himself over her shoulders like he was still the little golem.

"Alright," Lenalee agreed with a gentle smile, not at all disturbed by the ex-golem accompanying them. He only had a loose pair of pants on that hung low on his slim hips anyway. He'd be stripped and jumping into the water in seconds anyway. The only harm he could do was probably to Lavi's and Kanda's smothered dignities.

**So… Well, that was honestly a fun chapter to write xD I hope I grossed out whatever guys may be reading this, at least a little bit. This was mostly Lenalee's explanation, but oh well. I'll be cutting down on the explanations from now on, so you don't have to worry about that. See you next chapter.**

**P.S. – How was it? Is it interesting so far?**


	4. Chapter 4: Bath Time

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man… yeah, that's probably a good thing.**

Chapter 4: Bath Time

"Are you so sure about that?" Allen asked, pulling the angry woman's back against his chest. He pressed himself against the wall a little ways away from the door so one of the others wouldn't just happen to peer in and see the situation. He knew that his lover was not as warmed to the notion of public displays of affection as he was.

"I will rip your dick off if you don't get off me, right now," Kanda threatened, glaring over her shoulder at him. Her hands balled into fists, ready to carry out the deed at a moment's notice.

Allen laughed lightly, nuzzling his nose into her hair. "Oh, come on. Don't be like that. Plus, we wouldn't be able to have fun anymore."

"I would because I'd still be fully equipped," Kanda shot back, struggling half-heartfelt against her lover's warm embrace, "After I get turned back that is." Usually, she was content to let Allen spew his filthy doting on her for a few moments, but today was not one of those days. Today, she had not patients for lovey-dovey drivel.

"But that's no fun if both parties can't be involved," Allen complained, trailing his lips down her neck, pressing light kisses along her skin. He paused at a spot for a prolonged moment, his heated lips pressed to her skin.

Kanda growled. "If you give me a hickey, I will kill you. Remember what happened last time?" She remembered it clearly, particularly when Komui had stared at her with wide eyes and asked her exactly how she'd gotten the small mark. The mark had disappeared in under an hour, but those who had caught a glimpse had asked one too many questions for comfort. The rumors spread were hell to quell, and there were still a few floating around.

"Yeah, you struggled with an explanation and got bombarded with questions. It was great to watch you getting tortured for once. But honestly, I don't see the need to hide this anymore. I'm sure they've all already figured it out. They're not completely retarded, you know. If they were, I'm pretty sure half of them wouldn't be here to badger you."

"Yeah, whatever, you'd be surprised how resourceful idiots are. Take Lavi for example. Now get off me so I can go get clean." Kanda shoved her elbow back roughly into Allen's ribs, delighting in the pained groan it elicited from her companion. "Don't watch me." She moved away from him, cautiously unfolding the blanket and checking how much damage had really been caused. A **lot**. Well, she would never be able to wear these again. They blood stains definitely would never come out. She groaned loudly.

"What? What's so bad that you won't let me see you? I've seen everything already, so what's the problem?" Allen asked, trying to catch a peek of what was under the blanket to gauge the damage for himself, but Kanda snapped the folds shut around her body.

Her face burned hot, still an unfamiliar feeling. She glared daggers at him, a little surprised that she actually had to look up at him slightly. "Not this body, you haven't. Plus, I'm covered in blood."

"I've seen you covered from head to toe in blood, not all of it yours, and still found you attractive. Come on, how bad could it really be?"

"I don't care! This is completely different, and more than a little disgusting!" she snapped, choosing to ignore his question.

Allen held his hands up in defense. "I'm sure it's not that bad," he teased, but like the gentleman he tried to be, even to Kanda sometimes, he turned his back, taking to listening to the rustle and slide of clothing against skin. His mind drifted, conjuring memories of the last time he'd heard the same sounds. That had been a good night.

"I'm done," Kanda said, turning to glance at her partner, "Wipe that stupid grin off your face before I do it for you, pervert. I know what you're imagining, and you need to stop. I will not suck you off if you get hard."

Turning, Allen found her wrapped tightly in a long towel that dropped a little past her knees. She made an attempt to hide her legs, but the red streaks down her legs were all too obvious. "Don't be like that, but if you really won't, I'll just meet you guys in there after I strip."

Usually, the girls and guys had separate bathing times seeing as the girls baths were still under construction from the last Komlin rampage, but no one really observed them. They had separate changing rooms, but that baths weren't separate anymore. The barrier had been pulled down to give the women access to the men's baths, but there was a natural barrier made out of the rocks that they had to scale to enter the baths. Lenalee and Lavi clambered effortlessly over the rocks.

Kanda watched them with her neutral, bored look as they made their way over. "Lenalee, I can see up your towel," she commented casually.

Lenalee's smile stretched wider as she attempted to keep herself from gnashing her teeth together. "Come over here," she commanded, waving her over with that smile still in place.

"Why?" Kanda asked cautiously, keeping her feet planted.

"I'm going to help you wash. You guys probably aren't comfortable, or adept, at washing a female body," Lenalee explained, jumping back as Tim dove into the water, his wings flapping happily. He surfaced, spitting a stream of water into the air.

"I'm perfectly fine with washing my body on my own, thanks," Kanda shot back, snatching up a bucket and dumping water over her head. She didn't know what the other woman would do to her for that first comment if she surrendered her body, and she didn't want to find out. She continued her ritual of drenching until the red had washed down the drain, and she was comfortable enough to strip off the towel. Peeling off the soaking material, she hung it on a hook to dry.

"This thing will stop when I get in the water right?" she asked, glancing down her body. Clean rivulets of water trailed down her smooth body, not interrupted at her groin as it usually would have been. It was such an odd sensation not having something dangling between her legs. She doubted she'd ever get used to that feeling.

Suddenly, arms wrapped around her and a naked torso pressed into her back. "Why didn't you want me to see you? You're still beautiful, even as a girl," Allen murmured in her ear, the grin obvious on his lips.

"Dammit, get off me, baka moyashi!" she shouted, struggling like her life depended on it, before hissing, "There are people around."

"Aw, I'm sure they already know. Who cares?" Allen said, nuzzling her hair. He lifted his hand, running his fingers through the silken strands. His own hair flowed down his back, spilling over his sides to brush against his lover's skin. She shivered deliciously.

"Know about what?" Lavi wondered, giggling as Lenalee ran her hands down her sides.

Lenalee rolled her eyes, taking the wash cloth and running over the other girl's front. She felt like she was washing a child. That was until Lavi gasped very unchild-like, face darkening. "About how they're together. I thought you would have known. You are a bookman in training after all. Aren't you supposed to be observant?" she joked, the implication that Lavi was kind of a ditz clear in her voice.

Lavi looked back to the pair with a raised eyebrow. "Oh, yeah, I knew that the day Allen come into the cafeteria with that huge, 'I just lost my virginity,' grin with Kanda in tow. I'd be surprised if anyone didn't know. You guys aren't as discreet as you make yourselves out to be. Or quiet for that matter. I'm sure the Science Department guys can hear you guys loud and clear."

"You're one to talk," Kanda replied, "I'm surprised Komui hasn't killed you for bedding his little sister. You two are **loud**. You're probably louder than the beansprout and me. I wonder how Komui would react if he discovered that took his darling little sister's 'V' card."

A deep blush creeped across Lenalee's face, the blood seemingly taken from Lavi's face which had gone ashen. "You wouldn't," Lavi whispered. She may have been an exorcist, but Komui still scared him more than an Akuma when it came to Lenalee.

"Oh, but I would if it meant getting back at **you **for using my first name all the time," Kanda said, her smirk widening, "And everything else you've done, of course, such as making out with moyashi at that Christmas party last year." Her smirk turned sweet when she felt Allen, and watched Lavi, flinch.

"If you do that, I'll tell Komui what you two do on missions when you're supposed to be working," Lavi threatened, glaring at the other girl with all her might.

"Go ahead. Tell him. I'll just say it's to blow off steam." Kanda shrugged nonchalantly, unconcerned. It was none of his, nor Komui's, business what she and the beasprout did on their down time during missions anyway.

"Like he'd believe that load of s-"

"Alright children," Allen interjected in his voice reserved for small children, and Lavi and Kanda when they actually started fighting, "No fighting. No verbal abuse. It's time to get in the bath."

Without warning, Kanda's legs were swept out from under her into a princess hold. One second, she was in Allen's arms feeling like a very disgruntled princess, and the next, she was being thrown into the water.

"Beansprout!" she shrieked, sputtering as she popped out of the water. She instinctively reached for Mugen before realizing that in the heat of freaking out she'd left the weapon back in Allen's room. "Son of a bitch!"

"Aw, you can't cut me now," he joked, sliding in behind her and wrapping his arms round her waist. Gently, he tugged on her to sit down.

She stood resolutely until she felt the feather light kisses being peppered across her back. Reluctantly, she sank into his lap. "If I feel anything poking me, I will personally murder you," she threatened.

"So violent, why do you have to abuse me all the time?" he pouted.

"Because you love it."

"That's debatable."

"No, it's not actually."

"You know what-" Allen started, but Lavi interrupted with one well-placed comment.

"Jesus guys, another lover's spat. Can't you give it a rest for once?"

"Can't you?" Allen shot back at her in place of Kanda who grinned.

An eyebrow arched at the other female in challenge. 'I taught him well,' her eyes seemed to gloat, 'You won't win.'

Lavi relented, shaking her head. "Touché, beansprout," she replied, grinning as she leaned back beside Lenalee, spreading her arms wide displaying her chest proudly. She definitely seemed comfortable in her new body, not at all self-conscious. The rest weren't even capable of being self-conscious. Probably not.

"It's Allen," he growled automatically. All seemed right with the world, even in their current state as science experiments, as they continued to bicker amongst themselves. Lenalee even joined in the fun. That was until they heard the 'manly' scream from the male's changing room.

Allen's head dropped foreword onto his lover's shoulder, suddenly tired. "Ah hell, what now?"

**Well then, that was fun. What'll happen next I wonder? I actually honestly don't know. I have one scene planned out right now, but that won't be for a while. Until then, I have to bide my time. Sounds ominous doesn't it? Don't worry, it's nothing tragic. I'm just hoping it'll either make you laugh until you're on the floor crying, or screaming "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!"**

**On another note, how was it? Was it acceptable? Was it at least a little funny? Are the characters OCC?**


	5. Chapter 5: Off Balance

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man in any way, shape or form.**

**Sorry for any typos, I tried to catch them, but there may still be a few hovering around where they shouldn't.**

Chapter 5: Off Balance

"It looks like someone was murdered!" the man, or whomever, cried. Then...silence.

"Did you cover up my clothes?" Kanda asked, staring at the door, waiting for the next scream or someone to come running out. She tried moved away from Allen, but he snatched her back, pulling her against his chest. She let out a growl, but it was only an empty threat.

"I'm pretty sure I did. I threw my clothes over them, anyway." Allen watched the door as the others were, wondering when someone was going to appear. "I wonder if they went to get Komui or someone." He sighed, thinking of having to explain the situation to someone who wasn't already involved.

"Oh well, Komui already knows. That person is going to get a rude, disgusting awakening once he has the situation explained to him. I'm not doing the talking though," Lavi said, leaning further back and sliding down into the water, "Ah, I feel so relaxed."

Kanda rolled her eyes, leaning back into Allen. "Not for long if that Finder comes back."

"You think it was a Finder?" Lenalee asked, glancing at the girl.

"Didn't sound like any exorcist I know."

"Hmm..."

Silence made itself a main element in their environment once more, but it was comfortable as they waited for the Finder to return. Kanda slowly relaxed into the warmth that was Allen, something she didn't have the luxury of doing all that often. It was worth treasuring in the world they lived in. A world where they never know what was around the corner. Unpredictable. One minute, they may be having the time of their lives and the next they may be dying on the battlefield.

"I'm getting out," she murmured as sleep attempted to make a grab for her. It had been more than 45 minutes since the Finder had ran, so she figured it'd be safe now.

"What? So soon?" Lavi questioned, not moving from her spot, but letting her head fall back to watch the sway of the girl's hips as she walked away.

"Yes," she snapped. She looked to Allen for the space of a second, "I'm going to go train." Allen nodded his reply.

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose of a bath?" Lavi asked, sliding deeper into the warm waters with a happy sigh.

"I didn't actually use soap did I?" she quipped back, snatching her towel off its hook and slinging the mostly dry material around her slight form. She tucked the tip of the down between her boobs.

"I'll join you soon," Allen called as she walked away. She made no sign to show she'd heard him, but he knew she had.

Lenalee gasped. She scrambled from the bath, her towel sopping wet, before the other girl could disappear through the door. "Hold on, I have to give you something."

"I don't want anything."

Lenalee whispered in her ear as she pulled her to a stop, "You'll use it if you don't want to ruin another pair of pants by bleeding all over them." She smiled because she knew her point had gotten across.

Grinding her teeth, Kanda followed the other female to the changing room, leaving the other pair to prune in the warm water. "Stay here, I'll be right back," Lenalee said, turning and leaving Kanda at the entrance to the bathrooms. When she came back, she was holding a small purple pouch.

"What is that?" Kanda asked, backing up slightly as the girl hurried up with a wide smile.

"Feminine products," Lenalee replied simply, pushing her towards a stall.

Kanda planted her feet, attempting to keep her place. "Which are?"

"Tampons." Once again, the response was simple, but Kanda had heard the woman complain about those things before. She wanted absolutely no part of them.

Grabbing the sides of the stall, Kanda pushed against Lenalee's hand. "No, you can take those and leave. I refuse. I will not use those. No, just no!" she protested, straining as the woman pushed on her harder.

"You need to use them," Lenalee gritted out as she pushed harder, "It's gross to use a pad when you workout."

"No, I don't want to use them!"

Lenalee pried at the girl's fingers, keeping her knee pressed firmly into the small of her back. "Stop being a guy!" the growled, prying one finger away from the black plastic, "You're going to be screwed if you don't accept that you need them!"

Kanda dug her nails into the plastic, but they just slipped slowly away. "I don't need them! I can do just fine of my own!"

Lenalee rolled her eyes and decided to go for a low blow that she knew would definitely get the woman to cooperate. Even though she was the nicest in the group, she wasn't averse to using frowned upon tactics. "Oh, then I guess you'll also be fine with Allen seeing you bleeding everywhere when you don't even have a wound. I wonder how he'd react to something like that…" She let her words trail off, allowing Kanda's mind to conjure up a few scenarios.

With one last push and tug, she managed to shove the girl through the stall door. "Now, where were we?" she asked menacingly, her smile enough to rival Allen's when he went into his poker playing mode.

Kanda shout reached the pair still lounging in the bath. They glanced around curiously. With a shrug, they slumped further into the water. "So, you and Yu," Lavi started casually, a slow grin growing across her face, but Allen quickly burst her little pervert bubble.

"No." He glared over at his friend, shaking his head.

"But I haven't even asked anything!" she whined, pouting.

"I don't need to know the question. You're tone of voice was enough, and the answer is still no."

"But I just wanted to know a few minuscule things." She batted her eyelashes at him like that would ever work. It only worked when Lenalee did it.

"No." Allen turned away pointedly, giving the female his back.

She scowled, then she shrugged and decided to ask anyway. "Is he good?"

Allen eyebrows pulled together, and he glanced over his shoulder her. "Good at what?"

She rolled her eyes like he was too stupid to understand such a simple question. "Is he good in bed? I mean, with how uptight and completely wound he is all the time, when he unwinds and the stick is pulled out of his ass, he must be like dy-"

"No," Allen cut her off again, "I am not answering that. Kanda would kill me if I did."

"Aw, come on. At least tell me who tops. Is it you? That'd be a little weird. I bet it's Kanda. He does put that Japanese stereotype to death after all." She grinned mischievously, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

A dark blush crept up Allen's neck and across he cheeks. He couldn't deny that statement. "Why do you want to know anyway? That's like me asking you about your bedroom life with Lenalee!"

"See, but I'd be willing to share that with you because that's what friends do for each other," Lavi said with the biggest grin in the world.

Allen sighed, shaking his head. "Lenalee really needs to let you into her bed more often because your hormones are everywhere. I can almost smell them. I'm not going to help you get off to relieve them, though," he replied.

"So anyway, which one of you-" Lavi began.

Everybody seemed determined to interrupt Lavi that day as Kanda's voice called down to them. "That is none of your business, baka usagi," she snapped. She gingerly slid down the rocks, wincing as if in pain or discomfort. She was already halfway across the baths to the changing room when Lenalee slid into the water beside a now pouting Lavi.

"Why is he angry?" Allen asked, watching his partner disappear through the door. He silently hoped the Finder hadn't wandered back with one of their superiors. Toma she could deal with, but he didn't know if she could deal with say, a gushing Jerry bursting at the seams to cuddle the new less scary version of Kanda. It was hard to be scary when you were about a foot shorter and looking about fifty percent less muscular, even if that wasn't the case.

Lenalee smiled. "Well, he has to wear something that is a bit uncomfortable. He's not very happy that I had to help his with it either." She shrugged and grinned. "So, what were you talking about before we came back? And why is he pouting?" She pointed to Lavi who looked like a disgruntled crocodile, have of her face submerged beneath the water.

"I won't tell him what goes on in mine and Kanda's bedroom behind closed doors. He wants to know who tops," Allen explained, rolling his eyes in exasperation, "Ridiculous, huh? I mean, who cares who tops?"

Lenalee looked between the two, fingers pressed over her lips like she does when she'd considering something. "Who **does** top?" she finally asked, looking up with an amused glint to her lavender eyes.

Allen groaned, "Not you too."

…..

"Son of a bitch!" Kanda started as she made friends with the ground for third time in thirty minutes. She pushed herself back up, holding Mugen's hilt as tightly as she could with her sweat slicked palms. Sweat trickled down her temples and exposed back, soaking into the sports bra she'd been forced to put on.

Inhaling deeply, she held the sword out before her, slicing slowly through the air. With each stroke, she let her movements gain speed and more complexity. She whirled and spun, keeping her feet firmly planted to the ground. Finally, she let out a round house kick. Normally, she would have completed it perfectly and kept going, but something was off about her body and instead she tipped forward halfway through the kick.

"Fuck!" she shouted as her hands slammed into the sand, her dark hair draping around her form. She curled her fists, crushing the unlucky granules of sand that had managed to become caught between her fingers. "What the fuck is wrong?"

"Your center of gravity has changed, girl," the silky voice of the one person Kanda never wanted to come in contact with said from behind her. If she hadn't already identified the speaker by his voice, she would have been able to by the smell of cigarette smoke that tickled her nose. "It's not at your sternum anymore, it's at your hips and you need to adjust accordingly."

Spinning towards the unwanted nuisance, Kanda stopped suddenly when she realized what Cross had just been saying. "How the hell did you find out?" she snarled, not even attempting to play dumb since he already knew.

"I know everything that goes on in my idiot apprentice's life, including the fact that you're fucking him," Cross said without so much as a blink of his one uncovered eye. He leaned against the wall in a white button down shirt and black slack, his blazing red hair pulled back in a low ponytail and arms crossed over his chest as he surveyed the scene.

"What the hell do you want?" she snarled, turning her back to the man. Begrudgingly, she imagined her center of gravity shifted so that it sat between her hips before moving again. Admittedly, she moved smoother with that mindset.

"Where's my idiot apprentice?" he asked.

"How the hell should I know? Last I knew he was still in the bath. Why do you want to know anyway?" she snapped, spinning back to glare at the older man. She faltered when her eyes passed over the now empty space. "What the hell was that about?" Grumbling her distaste under her breathe, she turned on her heel and started slashing the air with more ferocity, wishing she were on a mission.

**Haha, I love writing Dark Lenalee so much. It's great fun. Even though Lenalee doesn't technically have a dark side, I like to think that she would when it comes to these three, and that she likes to mess with them. Oh yes, I will be bringing her in a lot.**

**Anyway, how was it? Was it interesting? Was is amusing to some degree?**


	6. Chapter 6: Stolen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ghost Hunt**

Chapter 6: Stolen

Allen slowly dressed, pulling on his tight shirt and pants he used for training. He sighed in annoyance, pushing his fingers through his hair. He gathered the length of hair in a fist, considering cutting it all off, but quickly decided against it when he remembered the way Kanda's fingers had felt running through her hair.

"In here! It was in here! The pants were covered in blood!" the voice of the man they'd heard scream earlier shouted, coming ever closer at a brisk, clipped pace.

Allen sighed. He really didn't want to try to explain the situation to a superior who didn't already know. Namely, anyone who wasn't Komui. It seemed like the Chief hadn't gotten around to spreading the news yet, but it definitely wouldn't be long.

"Are you sure it wasn't just one of the exorcists. They do manage to get a lot of clothes bloody," another male voice replied to the first frantic one, a sigh lodged in the back of his throat.

"No! These were night pants, Asian looking, black. It definitely wasn't an exorcist's uniform," the Finder replied.

The sigh finally exited the man. They were right outside the changing room. "Exorcists do wear casual clothing. They're not required to wear their uniform at all times. Especially at Headquarters," the other man tried to explain, but Allen could hear the puzzlement in the man's voice.

The men, Reever and a Finder, ducked into the changing room, pausing as they spotted Allen rubbing at his tense shoulders. He smiled disarmingly at the pair. "Hello, what has brought you guys here?" he asked kindly.

"Rodger here thought someone had killed someone in here," Reever explained, jerking a thumb at the Finder whose cheeks were beginning to glow with embarrassment.

"Not in here," the Finder tried to defend himself, fidgeting now, "I just thought someone had been murdered…" He dropped until it was barely audible, just a whisper in the quiet room. His head was down, his hood casting a shadow over his face.

Allen's smile tightened. "Well, no one was murdered," he started.

Reever sighed again, tapping the back of his head with his clipboard. "Alright, well, sorry for the trouble Allen. Have you seen the bloodstained pants he was talking about?" he asked, glancing around the room and then down at the small pile of clothes on the floor.

"Yes…"

"May I see them?"

"I don't think that'd be a good idea," Allen advised, nudging the pile further under the bench with his foot, "I don't think Kanda would be too happy if I just started flashing his clothes around." He shrugged like it was no big deal, hoping Reever would just think Kanda had gone on a rampage and massacred a box of strawberries or something instead of asking questions.

Reever's eyebrow arched up, and Allen's hopes were subsequently crushed. "Why would Kanda…" his words trailed off as he started to process the information given to him. Once more, a long suffering sigh escaped his lungs. He was already exhausted, and the day hadn't even really begun yet. "What did he get himself into this time?" His eyes scanned over Allen, taking note of the long snowy hair. "What did you both get into this time?"

Allen sighed, resigning himself to explanation. "Well, you know how we were supposed to be cleaning a Science Department storage room? Well, Lenalee knocked over a bunch of boxes on accident."

"And? I can see you ended up with long hair again. What happened to Kanda and Lenalee?" Reever asked even as his mind was running through all the extra paperwork and experiments they'd be having to conduct. He said his final farewells to sleep, never to be seen for the next couple months he was sure.

Allen grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head self-consciously. "Well, Lenalee is fine, but that's a different story for Kanda, Lavi and Timcanpy." Reever rubbed at the migraine beginning to throb in his temple, waving him to keep going. "Tim is human now, and well, Kanda and Lavi are girls." He indicated Tim who sat excitedly on a bench, wings flapping. "Komui already knows."

Another sigh. The Finder's eyes darted between the three, then he bolted out the door. "I better go get him. Please, don't get into any more trouble, Allen. I don't think my fragile state of mind could handle it," Reever advised, turning and jogging after the fading footsteps of the other man.

Turning his back, Allen returned to the problem of pulling his hair back, but he had little reprieve from disturbances. "Idiot apprentice," Cross said, suddenly in the doorway to the dressing room.

Allen let out a shout of surprise, jumping and spinning to glare at his master. "Jesus, Master, **what**?! Couldn't you have made some damn noise so that I didn't jump out of my skin?" Allen growled, fearless of Cross in his annoyance.

"You're coming with me," Cross said as way of reply, wrapping his hand tightly around Allen's upper arm as if he were a misbehaving child, "Grab your girlfriend's clothes. We're going."

"What? Where?" Allen asked, but obediently snatched up the clothing piled on the floor. He wrapped his cleaner clothes around Kanda's soiled ones as not to have to answer any more questions. He was dragged through the halls, a bad feeling starting to bubble up in his stomach.

Cross threw Allen through his bedroom door, leaning against the doorjamb, blocking any chance of escape. "Grab a jacket. Grab your cards," he ordered, lighting a cigarette as he waited.

Allen collected the requested items, holding them curiously. Before doing anything else, he looked up at the golden boy who'd followed after them and was now floating casually on his wings around the room in only a snug pair of pants, "Tim, go keep an eye on Kanda will you?"

"Sure!" Tim said happily, his feet touching the ground. He ran through the door, his feet running on air every couple of steps.

"I see you've fucked up again," Cross commented with the same casualness as his golem.

Allen scowled, glaring at his master. "Where are we going?" he asked, though it really should have been obvious at that point.

"We, or namely you, are going to play some poker." Cross wrapped his fingers around the back of his apprentice's neck as he tried to bolt from the room. He should have just tossed himself out the window. Even then, he wasn't sure his master would leave him to die in peace. Cross chuckled darkly. "You're not going anywhere."

"Noooo!" Allen screeched, struggling uselessly against his master's grip. His scream tapered off into mournful sobs.

...

"Where the hell is beansprout?" Kanda grouched, face down in the table. Her arms were wrapped securely around her middle in an attempt to stave off the pain, letting out little groans of pain. "When is this going to end?"

"I don't know where Allen is, sorry. He disappeared after we got out," Lenalee apologized, setting a steaming cup of tea down in from of her, "Drink this. Maybe the warmth will help with the cramps." She smiled soothingly, but inside she was dancing the happiest dance in the world because she got to watch her idiot friends suffer. It was good to finally be on the other side of the fence.

Without lifting her head, Kanda pulled the ceramic cup towards her, lifting her head just enough to lazily drink out of it. Pulling it under the table, she pressed the warm, smooth surface to her abdomen. And involuntary sigh slipped up her throat. "Beansprout needs to get back. I want a good fight," she mumbled, mellow as a content cat.

"Well, maybe he'll be back soon. Maybe he somehow got lost or was roped into another one of the Science Department's experiments," Lavi suggested around a fork full of chocolate cake.

"Baka," Kanda mumbled to no one in particular, letting out a long, tired sigh.

Lenalee watched the two females with curious eyes. They were sluggish and mellow, very unlike their usual selves. She wondered if they had the same emotional instability of your average female on her period. "Hey guys, let's go watch a movie, yeah?"

"Does it require me walking a long distance?" Kanda asked.

"No, we'll just be going down to the Science Department. Then you can lounge around as much as you like. You can even check for Allen," she told the female cheerfully.

Kanda was out of her chair quicker than Lenalee ever thought possible in her condition. "Fine," she said. She was out of the room in only a few quick steps, constantly followed by the eyes of every male occupying the space.

"Look at those hips sway," Lavi joked, following after the other girl at a more leisurely, sane pace.

...

Tears streamed down both girls' faces, dripping off their chins to patter against their fists. They stared longingly at the ending credits of the third chick flick they'd just finished watching. Deliberately, Lenalee had picked sad and romantic movies, and now she had the answer to her latest question. The answer was obviously a big fat '**Yes!**'

"I hate you," Lavi sniffled at her girlfriend, snatching a tissue from the box held out to her and taking to mopping up her face.

Kanda pulled down the sleeves of her crème colored cardigan, wiping at the unwanted tears staining her pale cheeks. "You're Satan's spawn," she muttered, leaning back into the fluffy beanbag they were all sprawled across, a down comforter spread across the three of them.

"I know," Lenalee said sweetly, jumping up to pop in a new movie, "Let's stay here until Allen finally comes back."

Kanda groaned, dropping her head back. "Ugh," she groaned, tossing an arm over her eyes. '_He needs to be back already_,' her mind grumbled to herself.

"You are such a girl in love," Lavi commented sullenly, but laughed, poking her tongue out at her friend. Her moods had swung wildly throughout their little marathon, and she was already returning to being cheerful.

Kanda's head snapped up, her body following her head so that she sat straight. "What the hell are you spouting over there? Have you been drinking, or maybe smoking something?" she snapped, glaring at the other female.

"I'm saying you're like a school girl who loves her boyfriend with all her heart. It's cute, really," Lavi replied smugly, her eyebrow rising to make friends with her hairline as if daring the other girl to defy her assessment.

Kanda's face slowly began to glow a pretty rose pink. "You're delusional, baka usagi! Go get your brain checked!" she shouted her protest, making the heads of some of the scientists passing by turn in their direction.

"Who is that?" one of them asked quietly, but not quietly enough.

"Kanda and Lavi. Heard they got mixed up in one of our failed experiments again," another replied with a shrug and a short laugh.

"They're pretty cute for just being turned into chicks," the first said, nodding his head in appreciation.

"What the **fuck** is everyone smoking here?!" Kanda bellowed, rage lighting in the pit of her stomach, slamming her fists into the comforter.

Tim giggled, sitting high on a bookcase. The pair of scientists jumped, scuttling away only to be replaced by a new form. Tim jumped from the bookcase, fluttering over to the stumbling figure. "Master Allen," he said happily, flying around the new arrival.

At the sound of Allen's name, Kanda's head perked up, her eyes growing bright. She may have not seen it, but it didn't escape the notice of Lenalee and Lavi at how her face lit up and she craned her neck as far as she could to catch a glimpse of her lover.

Allen stumbled forward, collapsing across Kanda in a heap. He wrapped his arms tightly around the other. "Ah, hey! Get the fuck off of me! Get off of me, you fucktard! What are you doing?" she shouted, struggling under Allen's body helplessly.

Realizing that he'd passed out on her and was fast asleep, she shut up. "What happened to him?" she mumbled, tracing a bruise across his cheek as she pushed herself up. He smelled of cigarette smoke and alcohol, two smells she hated most in the world. "Why does he smell like…" She trailed off as her mind played catch up, putting two and two together. "I'm going to murder Cross," she threatened as she realized why his master had come looking for him.

If it hadn't been for the rock snoozing on her lap, she would have been up and stalking herself a red-headed python.

**Haha, there you go. Soooo, now we know why Cross wanted Allen. Don't worry, he'll be back later if he's one of your favorite characters. I'm hoping to have a little fun with his character later on down the road.**

**Anyway, how was it? Boring? Funny? Slightly entertaining?**


	7. Chapter 7: Leaving

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man and never will**

Chapter 7: Leaving

Cowering behind Lenalee, Lavi watched cautiously as Kanda barked a threat at a Finder who came too close to her food. She snapped at the man's fingers, snarling. "She's like a rabid animal," Lavi whispered.

"Such is the life of a girl on her period," Lenalee said, paging through a book she had open on the table.

"But I'm not acting like that," Lavi protested, her eyes flickering to her girlfriend for the slightest second before returning to the scene, "Oh no, Allen's getting involved."

"I hope he's ready to get his dick ripped off," she said uninterestedly, pursing her lips as her eyes ran over the spoken dialogue of the characters. She was having surprisingly good luck at tuning out the noises around her, but she couldn't forever. Allen and Kanda's shouting match broke through her barrier, ruining the romantic scene in her book. Snapping the book closed loudly, she stood slowly from her seat, readying herself for her next actions.

"Lenalee," Lavi whined, reaching for her only because she knew Lenalee was going to break up the fight, namely her source of entertainment. "No fair." She dropped her hand, pouting.

"Allen, Kanda," Lenalee say sweetly, approaching the pair through the crowd that parted in her wake, watching her cautiously. They could tell that she was irritated, and they wanted no part of it.

"What?" they both snapped, keeping their glares focused on each other. Their food sat abandoned on a nearby table. Flames crackled around them as sparks flew between their locked eyes. Their weapons glinted dangerously close to each other's throats. You could slice through the sexual tension permeating the air around them.

"Sit down!" she shouted, grabbing them by the backs of their necks and slamming them down at the table housing their food beside each other, "And put your weapons away, or do you want to get stuck with cleaning duty **again** and have something even worse happen?" Her smile could have had a rattle snake taking cover. "I don't care if you are still on your period, Kanda, your PMS-ing needs to be toned down right now, or so help me, you won't go back to being a man for a year."

Kanda gaped at her, and Allen snickered. Bad choice. Lenalee turned her fury on him. "If you keep provoking him I will make sure you end up in the same boat. Do I make myself clear?" She glared at them, hands on her hips.

"Yes ma'am," the pair mumbled, staring down at their plates. They still shot scathing looks at each other, despite the threat.

"Honestly, you two are like grade school children. I thought we'd all grown out of the stage where we were mean to our crushes," she scoffed, standing over the pair looking remarkably as scary as the head nurse, "The sex must be really good for you two to keep putting up with each other."

"Just announce it why don't you," Kanda muttered, narrowing her eyes at the other female.

Lenalee scoffed, rolling her eyes, but Reever who was simply passing by said, "Come on, Kanda. Did you think none of us know? The only ones who don't in this complex are a majority of the Finders. You two are so bad at hiding it, it's laughable. Honestly, the amount of times I've walked in to a room and had to walk back out is too many to count." He was already out the door by the time everyone started laughing, and Allen's and Kanda's faces lit up like a fire through dry brush.

"Is it safe?" Lavi asked jubilantly, popping up across the table from the pair. They jumped back in surprise, their eyes wide. They hadn't noticed her sneaking under the table so scurry over to their side like Lenalee had.

Rolling her eyes, but laughing lightly, Lenalee chuckled, "Yes, Lavi, it is now perfectly safe."

"Okay!" she said, wiggling happily in her seat. She grinned at her fighting friends across the table, enjoying that even with what her girlfriend had threatened the pair with they continued to fight.

"Jackwaggon," Allen shot at the woman beside him.

"Jackass," Kanda shot back.

"Jackwad."

"Dick lick."

"Cock suck."

"No, I've got you to do that for me, short dick."

"Assfuck."

"Fuckass."

"Why don't you some up with something more, you twat."

Kanda didn't even pause to consider Allen's words. She simply said, "Tardmuffin."

Allen opened his mouth to shoot another insult at her, but stopped when Kanda's name sunk into his mind. His mouth pursed in confusion. "Did you just call me a tardmuffin?" he asked bemused, trying not to laugh at the idiotic remark.

"You two!" Lenalee snapped, administering powerful brain dusters to the pair, having heard every name they'd called each other. She was having trouble trying not laughing at them. "Idgits," she muttered only for her ears alone, shaking her head.

The pair flinched, but the tension had already dispelled. Kanda leaned forward idly, resting her chin on the table with arms wrapped around her abdomen. A low groan flowed through her clenched teeth. Allen laughed lightly, and the crowd dispersed throughout the cafeteria, chattering and laughing.

Sighing, Allen reached out a hand, rubbing between Kanda's shoulder blades in the spot that always calmed her, even if she denied it with all her might. She relaxed slightly, just as he knew she would under his touch, a quiet sigh leaving her through her nose. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked more as a rhetorical question, though she still answered.

"Kill me preferably," Kanda mumbled, rolling her head so her cheek rested on the cool wood, her food pushed out in front of her.

"Oh come on, Yu, it's not that bad," Lavi said, grinning, watching her with that one green eye from the hand propping up her chin.

Kanda glared half-heartedly at her, too occupied with pain twisting her insides. "Don't call me that," she snarled with more force than she thought possible at the moment.

They didn't notice when the cafeteria went silent, too caught up in their conversation to care. They came back to reality though, when a hand descended out of nowhere, landing on Allen's shoulder and making him jump out of his skin.

"Walker, I've come back from Central. It is good to see you doing well." All eyes save Kanda's were trained on the unexpected blonde standing over the stiff teen. He had his usual blank expression, his eyes flitting from Kanda to Lavi trying to figure out who the new females were. He nodded respectfully to Lenalee who smiled nervously. "Who are your companions?"

Words were lost on Allen, but not, it seemed, on Kanda. She lifted her head, her glare on full power so that the man recoiled just the slightest bit. "Oh my fuck, just go **home**!" she shouted, her voice quickly rising, her voice carrying through the entire cafeteria, "No one wants you here! No one cares about how you love to stalk Moyashi or your weird obsession with him!"

"I am on orders to follow Mr. Walker and watch for signs of the 14th. I am not stalking him," Link defended himself, his eyebrows pulling together just a bit, but somehow managing to still make his face look blank.

"Well, no one gives a fuck! And it's fucking annoying! Just go home or stop riding his shit all of the time!"

"I've just returned, so I cannot go back to Central," Link replied curtly.

"Well then I guess you have only one option then," Kanda growled sarcastically, rolling her eyes and standing, "Let's go, beansprout." She grabbed Allen's sleeve, pulling him away from the confused Link, looking between the two, and the knowing Lenalee and Lavi.

"Where are we going?" Allen asked, really not caring, just thankful that he wouldn't have to be around Link for long.

Kanda glanced over her shoulder, blinking at him slowly. "To get a mission from Komui."

...

"I can try to find a mission for you," Komui murmured around the rim of his cup, staring down at the papers spread before him, not really paying attention to the pair requesting the mission. "That might actually work out better for us," he said more to himself than the others, rubbing his finger across his mouth in thought.

"What are you going on about?" Kanda asked, glaring at the man. She just wanted a mission, and she just wanted to get out of this suffocating place.

Komui set his cup down, pursing his lips in consideration. "Well, Inspector Link isn't only specifically here to watch Allen, so sending you two on mission would get him out of your hair, and get keep you," he pointed to Kanda, "from killing him on a rampage."

"Rampage?" Allen and Kanda asked.

"Well, Kanda has been on his period for 6 days now and has since destroyed most of the training equipment and injured a number of the Finders. I believe you need to get out and spread your PMS through another town," Komui explained making Allen snicker and Kanda glare sharply at his companion. She reached her hands towards Allen's neck, flexing her fingers.

"So you'll get us a mission?" Allen finally asked, holding Kanda's wrists so her fingers could only clench uselessly in the air, reaching for his throat. He was leaned back on his back, Kanda straining towards him from above.

Komui watched them with amusement for a few moments before answering. "Sure, here's something," he said, snatching up the first black covered report on his desk. He'd just gotten several new ones in and hadn't assigned them yet. "This one is in Spain. Apparently there have been a few strange phenomenon happening around the city of Seville. There has been numerous amounts of Akuma swarming the area, more than you'd usually see in one place. We believe there may be more than one piece of innocence there, so we'd like you to go in search of them. You'll be taking Lavi and Lenalee with you as well."

"What are the strange occurrences?" Allen asked as the pair detangled themselves from around each other and took the booklet, opening it so they could both read off of it.

"Statues coming to life. Animals disappearing into the woods only to be found sleeping later in the woods, in large packs mind you. Earth moving at random points. At first it was thought to be earthquakes, but it's become a regular occurrence in different spots and most of the time the villager don't even notice it. You'll be leaving tonight," Komui said, sitting back in his chair to watch the surprised expressions of the children he'd deemed his adoptive children.

Kanda raised an eyebrow at the Asian man. "That's a variety of events."

"That's why we believe there is more than one piece of innocence," Komui replied, pulling his coffee cup towards him again. He waited as the pair nodded and held a silent conversation made of glances and pointing that he was not privy too. "Now get going! Get your stuff together and I'll meet you by the waterway with Lenalee and Lavi later tonight," he said, waving them away.

"Sure," Allen said brightly, jumping from the couch and disappearing with Kanda in toe out the door.

Komui sighed, leaning back further so that he sank down in his chair. He closed his eyes, only wanting to rest them for a few minutes. It'd be hours until Reever came back to wake him to see the four teens off.

**There you go! I hope this was good. I'm really sorry I haven't posted in the last four days, I've been really busy. I have a really bad crack fic in the making, so… yeah. I've been writing it during Trig so… I'm just hoping I pass my test xD Anyway, how was it? Was it funny at least a little?**


	8. Chapter 8: Wanting

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man**

**Oh geez, guys, I am so sorry that this sort of became a type of crossover. I honestly didn't mean it to in the beginning. Don't worry, I don't think it's going to make that much of an impact.**

Chapter 8: Wanting

Allen let out a long groan, fingers digging into Kanda's sides. She smiled wolfishly down at him, her face flushed from their activities. She was seated on his lap, her legs on either side of him. He was buried hilt deep in her, and she felt incredible. Finally, she felt like she was in control of something. Despite the small mishap at the beginning of their play where they thought she'd started her period again, they had easily fallen back into a familiar rhythm.

"Why are you so boisterous? We've been going at it for hours," Allen groaned, his head falling back against the pillows, panting for much needed air.

Kanda smirked, tightening around her lover, watching him whine in pleasure. "I've been horny all week, but due to my predicament I couldn't exactly fuck you now could I?" she asked sweetly, languidly rolling her hips against him.

"No, but you could be kinder."

She pretended to actually consider his words –though they both knew she was just playing with him- before the smirk came back. "Not a chance, beansprout. I've got you all to myself now, without that baka interrupting us. I'm going to devour you all night." The swift movement of her hips released a moan from her that mirrored her lover's perfectly.

Allen chuckled. "Lavi's going to be so jealous."

"Don't talk about that stupid rabbit. He'll either get Lenalee to agree or he'll find a willing participant. Now pay attention to me," Kanda snarled, leaning forward and crushing their mouths together. She nipped non-too-gently at his lips, not hard enough to cut, but enough to sting.

"Of course, princess," Allen joked, swinging up while pulling her under his body. He wrapped her legs securely around his waist, letting her pull him in harder. "You should be quieter though. They're in the room right next to us. I'm sure they can hear everything," he whispered conspiratorially, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"I don't give two fucks if they can hear us. Better yet, let them hear. I want you to fuck me, and I want you to fuck me hard, so hard that it wakes them out of a dead sleep," she growled, rolling her hips against him and grazing her teeth along his shoulder. She groaned almost pitifully, pushing with needy urgency into him.

Squeezing his eyes shut tightly to stave off yet another release, Allen moaned, panting out his pleasure against her skin. They'd been going at it for hours, steadily getting louder with every release. Kanda still wanted more though, and he was willing to give it.

Moving in slow, smooth strokes, Kanda grew impatient, snarling, "If you don't pick up the pace-" Her words were cut off by a cry of pleasure.

Allen complied slowly to her demand, letting the pace build as you would in a race. Their dance accelerated, becoming messy and hurried in their rush to find oblivion, to make each other see stars. Their breath exploded from their lungs in the form of two long, loud moans. He collapsed on top of Kanda, panting. If that didn't wake their pair sleeping in the room beside them, they didn't know what would.

They got their answer only moments later as they came down off their highs.

**Bang! Bang! Bang!** A fist slammed annoyingly against the shared stucco wall. Small pieces of stucco detached themselves from the wall, floating to land in the discarded covers pushed against the wall. "Could you guys shut up! We're trying to sleep!" Lavi shouted, her voice breathy and angry.

"Stop listening to us then!" Allen called back.

"Fuck you!" Kanda shouted in reply.

"No, Allen's already doing a damn swell job at that!" Lavi retorted. Her yelp of surprise turned into a barely audible, barely contained moan. Then there was silence so thick that it was obviously more forced than natural.

"Looks like we're not the only ones who need to shut up!" Kanda shouted, smirking. She unhooked her legs from around Allen's waist, letting them slip against the smooth skin of her companion's back and sides.

A moan that was so obviously Lavi's came through the wall as the only reply.

Kanda looked back up at the man who hovered uncertainly above her. "Another round?" she asked, making the choice for him, running her knee suggestively along his side.

"Sounds good to me," Allen murmured, peppering kisses along her silky skin as he inched his way down her body, leaving love marks every few centimeters, "But this time, we're going to try something that new."

...

"You guys were so loud last night," Lavi griped, deep circles marring the skin under her eyes. She glared at everything and nothing at the same time. Her activities obviously hadn't done her as much good as Kanda who seemed to be even slightly present in those morning ours. "I hope it was worth it because I didn't get a lick of sleep."

People streamed around them, strolling through the market on the cool morning. They weaved in and out of each other, talking loudly in Spanish, a language none of the four knew fluently.

"Says the girl who drowned us out more than once," Allen teased with a knowing smile, bumping casually into her shoulder, at ease surrounded by the throng of people. He soaked in the loud, ecstatic, exotic energy of the Spaniards. "Lenalee is that good, huh?"

Lavi's face burned crimson. If these were normal circumstances, she'd have immediately puffed out her chest and thrown her shoulders back, declaring her answer proudly, but sadly, they were not normal circumstances. So, they got the blushing schoolgirl, instead.

Lenalee, however, was not so embarrassed by the information. "Yes, I am, but you will never have any direct knowledge of that," she answered for the girl, walking to Lavi's right so that Allen and Lavi were sandwiched between Kanda and Lenalee, "I hope you two at least used a condom like I told you to."

Kanda's face stayed expressionless while Allen pursed his lips. Neither replied.

Lenalee sighed heavily, shaking her head. "I hope you end up pregnant. It'd be hilarious. I'd consider it a type of poetic justice," she said, shaking her head disbelievingly, "Hopeless, the both of you."

"I'm not going to end up pregnant," Kanda replied crisply, her eyes scanning over the people passing by them. The city gave her an unpleasant feeling, setting her even more on edge than she usually would have been. "Let's check the woods again. We may find something we missed. Beansprout, are there any Akuma in the area?"

"It's Allen," he replied only out of habit than actually meaning the words now, "Not that I can tell right now." Something felt off about the fact that there were no Akuma in the immediate area with the amount of supposed activity that had been going on in the city. It was unsettling to say the least.

"Did Brother say anything about the occurrences happening on an interval? Like every couple of days or something?" Lenalee asked, glancing at the surrounding patrons nervously. Despite having Allen at their disposal, she was still on high alert in case one somehow slipped through his detection. She knew that was next to impossible, but still, with the number of innocence they believed were in the area, they could never be too careful.

Allen shook his head. "No, he just told us what we told you. You know him, he always forgets something, but it didn't say anything about that in the report either. Maybe the innocence is just trying determining whether we're a threat or something." He shrugged.

"Are you an idiot?" Kanda sneered, glancing at him. Her lip curled unpleasantly against her front teeth.

Before Allen could toss a retort at the slightly taller female, or either could start a fight, Lenalee interjected smoothly. "No, he may be right, Kanda. After all that we've seen with the innocence, how can we not come up with something like that? It's not far out of our realm to think innocence has a consciousness."

Kanda made a noise in the back of her throat that could have either been a scoff or noise of affirmation. It was most likely a little of both. "Either way, they need to fucking show up already so we can go home. Then I can have all the time I want to screw beansprout until he's dying of exhaustion." She said the comment so calmly like it was the most normal thing in the world say, and a common conversation topic.

Lavi snorted, "Someone's a bit horny."

"Not a bit," Kanda corrected, keeping her eyes facing forward, "Really horny is the correct term."

Unlike who seemed immune to her own words, Allen was much more susceptible to her words. A deep, flourishing blush blossomed across his cheeks, painting the color of the sky at sunset. Heat rushed in opposite directions through his body causing an odd sensation. "Could you have, I don't know, worded that differently?" he grumbled, palm covering his face.

"Yeah, I could have actually. I want to fuck you until you're a breathless puddle of hormones under me, begging me not to stop," she replied, her eyes narrowing on the commotion before them.

Two men, one obviously native to the country, and the other a fully hot-blooded Italian, stood in front of a pedestal. The Spaniard scratched the back of his head, staring at the empty pedestal passively while the Italian shouted obscenities. "Where the fuck did my fucking sculpture go? What the fucking hell? I fucking told you we shouldn't have fucking come here, Antonio! This is bullshit! Who the hell steals a sculpture?" the dark-skinned Italian screeched, stamping his feet like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

"I don't know, but they must be really strong to lift that. I want to be that strong one day. That'd be so coold. Or maybe it walked off. That could happen, you know? That's been happening a lot around here lately," the Spaniard babbled earnestly, seeming like a bit of a ditz.

"Then why the hell did you bring me here to sculpt something, stupid tomato bastard?" the Italian shouted, glaring at the taller man. He clenched his teeth in irritation, snarling at the older man.

"I thought it'd be good for you. You ever leave the house unless it's to go home to your brother or to tend the tomatoes. This is fun, right?" He stared hopefully at the livid Italian.

"No it is not fucking fun! Someone **stole** my** sculpture**!" He grabbed the Spaniard by his shirt collar, dragging him away into the thick forest where large footprints lead off into.

"Where are we going?"

"To find my sculpture and the person who stole it, what else?"

Allen jumped in surprise as his eye spun. "Oh no, those two men are headed straight for a group of Akuma," he said, darting from the group, following the men without even waiting to see if the other three were following.

"Dammit Allen, don't run off!" Lavi called behind him, the three trying to catch up with their shorter strides though Lenalee wasn't having nearly as much trouble.

"How do you run with such short legs?" Kanda grumbled, attempting to lengthen her stride to no avail.

"You get used to it," Lenalee replied simply, taking the lead in front it the pair. They grumbled, pushing harder to catch up.

**Well, there you go. I hope it was worth it. I am soooooo sorry for the long period without an update. I had SAT testing, a crap ton of homework, and the ending week for swim over the week. We had Championships today, and the girls on my team won! Hell yeah! We're great!**

**P.S.- The people who figured out how this became a sort of "crossover" gets a virtual cookie.**


	9. Chapter 9: Discovery

**Yay! This chapter is dedicated to all of you who guessed what the crossover is, and you get a virtual cookie. ^w^ So that goes to Only5EvenInHeight, Yume Li, Lavi-Usagi, and songofelyurias. Yeah, I don't even know where this crossover business even came from. I was just talking to my friend about Hetalia and my stories and then **_**BAM!**_** crossover idea. Yeah, I know, I'm ridiculous. Anyway, for those of you who don't watch/don't know what Hetalia is, don't worry, I'm only using the characters and will try to describe them as best I can. It's really not that big of a story element. I mainly did it just for the fuck of it, yeah know?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor ever will own, D. Gray-Man or any of the Hetalia characters.**

Chapter 9: Discovery

"W-what the fuck were those things? Who the hell are you people?" the Italian stuttered, trying to sound brave, but his quaking was making that difficult. He reminded the others more of a Chihuahua who had gotten in trouble for being on the furniture. His arms were clutched tightly around the Spaniard's middle, squeezing so hard it was cutting off the other's air supply.

The Spaniard looked calmer, curious even. He stared openly at the four, cocking his head just slightly, looking from one to the next. "That was really cool. Gracias por salvarnos," he said, smiling easily at them.

"Uh, it was our pleasure," Lenalee said with her trademark smile, not exactly sure what the man had just said to her. The only word she'd understood out of the last sentence was 'gracias'. She shrugged it off, promising herself to find someone back home who knew how to speak Spanish and ask them what it meant when they got back. The Italian finally stopped trembling, taking notice of the beautiful girl before him, eyes going wide. If he had a tail, it would have been wagging.

"You're really pretty. Do you have a boyfriend?" he started babbling, fear forgotten as he jumped to his feet to get closer to her. He smiled at her, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

"Lovino, she is very pretty, but no," the Spaniard said, wrapping his arms around the Italian's waist and pulling him back towards where they'd been seated against a tree. The Italian wasn't listening in the slightest, too focused on the vain attempt of trying to get into her pants. He didn't notice the detached smile she wore indicating that she was only being polite by not interrupting him.

Lavi clenched her teeth, inserting herself between Lenalee and the Italian, glaring at the offending man. "She does have a boyfriend so back off," she warned, her fingers twitching towards her hammer.

Lovi rolled his eyes, groaning. "Ah hell, she's a lesbian. That totally blows," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and staring off at the remains of a level one Akuma.

"She's not-" she started, but Lenalee slapped a hand over her mouth. The pair didn't need to know their secret, nor did they need to explain it, but the pair weren't listening anyhow.

"Lovi, you're not straight either, so I don't see how that's even an issue," Antonio pointed out, falling onto the Italian's back, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"I'm bi, dammit! Fucking get off of me!" Lovino bit at the man, pushing against him in vain.

"Not by my definition," Antonio replied in a sing-song voice, shrugging of the blatant way the man seemed to hate him. He pulled himself off Lovino, frowning as he stared over the shoulders of the five turned to face him. "Hey, Lovi, is that your sculpture?"

"What?" Lovi asked, confused. They all spun around just in time to see the tall sculptor of a young man disappearing behind the ruins of a once grand building. It lumbered off slowly, remarkably making little to no noise. "That's my fucking sculpture!" he shouted indignantly, chasing after the four exorcists already in hot pursuit of the walking hunk of rock.

"You two stay there!" Allen shouted over his shoulder at them, the gears surrounding his eye turning slowly as they locked in on the mass of Akuma waiting for them just beyond the wall. He rounded the corner, disappearing from the others' view.

Kanda skidded to a screeching halt at the corner, her eyes widening as she glimpsed the amount of Akuma waiting for them. "Shit! That baka! Hurry up you two!" she shouted, darting into the brewing battle, destroying an Akuma that tried to take out her moyashi while his back was turned. She snarled threateningly, invoking her innocence in one swift stroke along her blade. "You're going to regret that you damn machines!"

"Oh crap, if it surprised Kanda..." Lavi let her words trail off, glancing back to the pair behind her, "You two need to get out of here. It's too dangerous here."

"We want to help," Antonio offered.

"Well, you can't," Lavi snapped, "You'll just get in the way."

Antonia and Lovino slowed to a stop, watching Lenalee and Lavi draw further away from them towards a battle they couldn't help fight. They glanced to each other, a silent understanding passing between them. Sighing, they dejectedly trudged back to the empty pedestal, dropping down with heavy sighs, and waited.

…..

"Well... There's good news and bad news," Allen started as they came back out of the woods smeared in blood and the black oil substance that served at the Akumas' blood. He scratched the back of his head sheepishly, his left hand clenched around an item that seemed to glow green.

"Okay," Lovi said cautiously, his eyes flickering between the pained look on Allen's face and the light trickling between his closed fingers. Whatever the item was, Lovino felt a strange tug towards it.

"Well, the good news for us is that we got the first thing of what we came here to find. For you, I guess the good news is that your sculptures won't be coming to life anymore. The bad news... well, your sculpture kind of got pulverized in the battle... I'm really sorry."

Silence dominated the space around them. Imperceptibly, Lovi's eye twitched, only caught by the watchful eye of his companion. Antonio glanced nervously at the pair, ready to jump out and grab Lovi if he lunged for their savior's neck. "What do you mean you destroyed my sculpture?" Lovi whispered in a dangerous voice akin to the one Kanda used when he got really pissed.

"We're very sorry, Mr. Lovino. We couldn't fully protect your sculpture while fighting without risking more injury to ourselves and the townspeople," Lenalee apologized, rubbing the knuckle of her hand gently along the bruise forming across her cheekbone. Her clothes were tattered and splattered with mud. Lacerations crisscrossed her legs and arms. The others weren't in much better shape, sporting bruises and cuts of their own. Kanda had fared the worst. She'd taken a hard blow to the stomach and was spilling her guts in the bushes, all pride forgotten for the moment.

Lovino looked just the slightest bit chastened. His scowl fell, and he rubbed at his arm, staring at the ground. "Right, dispiacente, Manoscritto Lenalee."

Antonio grinned readily at his companion. It was a first hearing the man apologize for anything. "So, what did you find?" he asked, turning his eyes back to the others.

The three glanced between each other, pursing their lips. Finally, Allen uncurled the claws of his hand. "This is called innocence. It's what gives us the power to fight Akuma. We came here to find it," Allen explained, staring down curiously at the piece. The glow it emanated had brightened since he'd found it, pulsating as if were a heartbeat.

"An accommodator," Kanda mumbled, pitting and wiping his mouth before going to stand a good distance away from Allen as not to torture him with her vomit breath. She looked at the two men with narrowed eyes, assessing the pair. Her eyes traveled up and down their frames, glancing between them and the innocence.

"You think?" Allen asked, staring at his hand, but the reaction was unmistakable. He yelped as Kanda grabbed his wrists, pulling it a few inches closer to Lovino. The glow increased tenfold, and the piece shuddered in response.

"It's him," Kanda said. As the words left his mouth, Lovino reached out a trembling hand.

"I... I can feel it..." Lovi whispered, his fingers hovering over the innocence. His eyes slipped closed, his breathing heavy. "It's like it's resonating in my chest…" Suddenly, he dropped.

Kanda threw up his hands in exasperation, fed up with the entire situation, with the entire mission. "Fucking fantastic. He passed out. I'm not fucking carrying him." She turned away. All she wanted to do now was go back to her room at HQ and snuggle down under the cover with Allen, never to see the world again until she was good and ready to.

"Don't worry, Señorita Kanda, I'll take him back to our inn," Antonio said, pulling the unconscious Italian onto his back, "But I must ask though, what happened to him?"

"He probably got overwhelmed with everything that's happened today and then finding out he's an accommodator," Lavi offered with a tired smiled, "But I think it's best if you stay with us for now, until we can get you safe passage to HQ. He might be targeted now."

"Oh, that won't be hard. We're staying at the same in," Antonio said with a wide smile, turning in the direction of the inn, "That is troubling though. I hope I can protect him."

Lavi shrugged. "Well, if we're headed that way the rest of us might as well get some clean clothes on. And Kanda, you need to brush your teeth anyway because you fricken stink!" He laughed, sprinting away as Kanda ran after her shouting obscenities. Lenalee chased after them. From the grin spread across her face, whether she was going to instigate the fight or extinguish it was questionable.

Allen sighed, but smiled. At least Kanda wasn't moping and groaning around anymore. He'd missed his firecracker with her fiery temper over the past week. Her hormonal imbalances were not something he'd be missing though.

"She's so cute," Antonio laughed lightly, smiling. He was slightly bent forward supporting Lovino's weight on his back. He hefted him up higher, wrapping his hands more securely around his legs.

"You think so?" Allen asked with a grin. He agreed, but he'd never say that out loud for fear of being murdered on the spot, or maybe being castrated. That seemed like a more likely scenario. He watched her chase Lavi around, Lenalee rushing after them, though now he suspected that she was trying to start a game with them.

"Yes, she reminds me a lot of Lovi with her temper and uncensored words," Antonio said, glancing over his shoulder at his companion with a soft smile, "They are going to hate each other. It'll be so cute to watch them fight."

Allen laughed, shaking his head. "You're right. They are going to be worst enemies. Maybe Kanda will finally have someone else to fight and beat up on instead of just me." He knew the hope was in vain, but he could always do just that, hope. It was the thing he did best.

"No, I can tell, she's got a special attachment to you, but that just means you're very lucky."

"How so?" Allen wondered, looking towards the Spaniard quizzically.

"That's easy. It's because you'll always be loved no matter what, and good things will come to the both of you, even if you don't think they're a good thing at the beginning. They may be big, they may be small, but they will be good."

"You sound like a fortune teller, and to tell you the truth, I've never had very good luck. It's been more like cheating death." He laughed half-heartedly, forcing his smile to stay in place as memories washed over him from the time Mana died to the present.

Antonio chuckled. "No, I'm not a fortune teller, I can't see the future, I just know love when I see it, just like my friend Francis back in France."

"Oh, I've been there once. It was really pretty," Allen replied with a more genuine smile. The conversation quickly steered away from fortunes and love and bad luck, landing on more common topics that wouldn't be so touchy.

**So there y'all go. I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, but here it is! I'm going to try and get another D. Gray-man one-shot up soon as well as the sequel to "Hidden", but we'll see how that goes from here. How was it? Good? Bad? Weird? Completely "wtf" status?**


	10. Chapter 10: Tailing for Amateurs

**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor will I ever own, Ghost Hunt or Hetalia**

**P.S. – Sorry for any errors. I got really lazy towards the end.**

Chapter 10: Tailing for Amateurs

"Hey, I just realized something was missing. Where's Tim?" Lavi asked, not taking the time to knock. Instead, she slammed the door open to find a rather terrifying sight, at least for her. She halted in her tracks, staring wide-eyed at her fellow exorcists.

"He stayed behind with Master because he's too big now to transport comfortably, and he's kind of keeping an eye on Link for us," Allen explained, peeling the dirt splattered and blood stained shirt off of a passed out Kanda. Her shorts were already gone, discarded on the other side of the bed so that she was left in the bra and underwear Lenalee had bought for her. "He's probably stuffing his face and terrorizing the Science Department."

"Uh, what are you doing?" Lavi asked, raising a brow at him suggestively. She blinked, frowning, "Tim's a boy?"

Allen rolled his eyes. "Did you not see that penis while he was naked those hundred or so times?" he asked sarcastically before actually answering the original question. "Kanda fell asleep after he brushed his teeth so I'm just removing his dirty clothes so he doesn't get blood and dirt everywhere." He tossed a blanket over her half-naked form.

"Uh..." Lavi was at a loss for words. She watched Allen busy himself with plucking up discarded clothes off the floor and throwing them towards their suit cases. He was in a new pair of clothes, sparkling clean. She pursed her lips. "You're going to make someone a good housewife someday, you know that beansprout."

"It's Allen, and I'm not going to ever get married," Allen replied immediately without taking even a pause to consider his words. An uncomfortable silence fell over them. "Where are Antonio, Lovino and Lenalee?" he finally asked, looking over to his stunned friend, quirking an eyebrow at her.

Lavi startled, snapping her mouth closed. "Oh, Lenalee went to talk to Komui and ask about what we should do with Lovino. In the meantime, the other two are passed out in our bedroom with her."

"Actually, only Lovi is now. He sleeps like a rock and I sleep as light as a feather compared to what people actually thinks," Antonio interjected from behind Lavi with an easy smile, making Lavi jump nearly out of her skin, "I thought we could go take a walk. Señorita Lenalee told me I had to be accompanied by one of you."

"I'll go," Allen volunteered, straightening, "I wanted to sample some of the countries… delicacies."

"You just want to stuff your face while Kanda's not awake to gripe at you. Anyway, I'll go too," Lavi said, grinning. She moved towards the door, turning only when she was outside the threshold. "Come on, beansprout."

Allen rolled his eyes, grumbling, "For the last time it is Allen." He turned his eyes down, locking on his lover. He stroked her bangs off her forehead, leaning down to plant a kiss along the soft skin. Kanda grumbled in her sleep, flipping onto her stomach and burying her face in the pillow.

Behind him, Lavi made gagging sounds and Antonio laughed. "Come on, lovebird, let's get going before he wakes up and strangles you," she said, rolling her eyes, "You know he'd kill you if he knew you were doing that. You are constantly pushing your luck my friend."

Allen shot him a glare before sighing. "Yeah, I know that," he conceded, turning away from the sleeping form, heading for the door. The door closed quietly behind him, the handle clicking into place.

The three took no care in being quiet. They were loud and boisterous as men often were, despite the fact that one of them was in fact a woman at the time. They left the inn, making enough noise to wake a sleeping rhino.

It was their luck that the rhino they were afraid of waking was never really asleep.

Kanda's hands balled tightly in the fabric of her pillow. She turned her face, glaring at the door. "That damn moyashi," she whispered angrily, face red as a rose. She rubbed self-consciously at the site of Allen's kiss as if she could rub away the sensation of his lips. "I am so going to murder him the moment he falls asleep," she growled, turning her face back into the pillow.

She grumbled to herself about the idiocy and the loudness of her lover and friends, her fingers curling ever tighter until there was a screeching tear filled the room. Frowning, Kanda pushed herself up so she was sitting back on her haunches.

Small, down feathers littered the sheet, clinging to her hands and hair. "Son of a bitch," she snarled, rubbing at the feathers, trying to push them off which only seemed to attract more to her, "Fuck!"

Jumping from the bed and grabbing her bag, already fed up with the mess, Kanda slammed the door as she exited the room in a wake of feathers. The door of Lenalee's room slammed against the wall, shaking the pictures on the wall. "Fuck everything!" she shouted, kicking the door shut behind her.

Lovino startled awake, sitting straight, his eyebrows knitting together and his eyes were blurry with sleep. Lenalee looked on with raised brows as her half-naked companion chucked her bag on the bed and started yanking out clothes, nearly ripping those to shreds as well. "May I ask as to why you're banging around covered in baby bird feathers without any clothes on?" Lenalee asked, holding her hand over the bottom of the phone in her hand, "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?"

Kanda replied, but there was so much yelling and screaming with more 'fucks' than was reasonable to count that all she got out of that was Allen's name and 'Get these fucking feathers off of me!'

Lenalee laughed, smiling obligingly. She pressed the phone back to her ear, listening to her brother question the yelling. "Sorry brother, I have to go. I have baby bird feather to dislodge from Kanda's hair. I'll talk to you later," she said into the receiver before dropping it back in the hook. She turned to her female friend, looking her up and down. "Alright, alright, don't start getting dressed yet. You're covered from head to toe in feathers." She grabbed a handkerchief from Lavi's bag and sat beside her. "How did you manage this anyway? Did you murder a dove while you were alone? Are you into black magic now?"

"No, I'm not into black magic and I don't fucking kill animals for fun. I got so mad that I ripped open my pillow," Kanda growled, gripping Mugen in a death grip, "Those stupid bastards, I'm going to kill them."

"You can't kill Lavi or Allen," Lenalee chastised without needing to even ask who she was grumbling about, yanking on a chunk of hair that she had just pulled a feather from.

"I call for killing Antonio though, if that's still doable," Lovino inserted casually from his seat. He stared off out the window, watching the people on the street uninterestedly.

The pair glanced at him. "I like his way of thinking," Kanda commented, turning as well to glance out the window. Down on the street, she could see Allen, Antonio, and Lavi laughing at something that had been said as they walked leisurely towards the food stands, pastries already in their hands.

Lenalee shook her head. "You two are terrible. You aren't supposed to murder your lovers," she told them, pulling the last feather from her friend's hair. Instead of releasing her, she began brushing through her hair, sectioning it off into threes.

"What the hell are you doing back there, woman?" Kanda asked, attempting to turn her head, but Lenalee just jerked it straight.

"Don't move, I'm braiding your hair. Just sit still," she said, jerking on her hair once more as a warning.

Kanda grumbled her displeasure, but sat still. When the other woman was through, she jumped up and pulled on her clothing. Her swished her hips, letting her skirt slip against the back of her legs. "I could get used to this. I like the feeling," she said to no one in particular.

"Hey, what'd you say we go out too since the boys are out," Lenalee suggested, standing and straightening her clothing, "I don't think it's very fair that they can head out while we're stuck here."

"Sounds good to me," Lovi said, standing and stretching his arms far above his head.

"Let's go scare the shit out of them," Kanda suggested, already at the door. She had a plan formulating in her mind on just the things they could do to scare the hell out of their lovers.

Lenalee got a mischievous grin on her face. "Let's do it. I have a feeling they've deserved it for a long time."

…..

Lenalee, Lovino and Kanda walked silently behind their three companions, quietly making fun of them from the way they walked to the things they talked about. They were biding their time until they could put their plan into action. They never got the chance as a woman stepped up beside the boys.

Squeaking with suppressed laughter, Lenalee pulled the other two behind a stand, peeking over the side to watch the situation. "What are you doing?" Kanda hissed even as she was watching them curiously as well.

"Shh," Lenalee hissed, the remnants of a giggle obvious on her voice.

"How are you boys doing tonight?" an obviously forced male voice said casually, cutely, winking a glittering eyelid at them. Long, thick fake eyelashes flashed in the sunlight. A small tight black dress covered –his? Her? Kanda couldn't decide- lean muscles.

"What is happening?" Kanda asked.

Lenalee and Lovino glanced at her before glancing at each other. They left off quiet laughter, shoulders shaking furiously in their attempt to hold it in. "Oh my, your naïveté is adorable," Lenalee squealed, throwing her arms around her best friend, hugging her to her chest.

"Get off me! Get off me, woman!" Kanda yelled, pushing against her friend. Her cried echoed those of her lover who was pushing against the pushy she-male. A hand slammed over her mouth, silence her cries.

"Come on, darling, just give in. I'll make it worth your while. It'll be like nothing you ever experienced before," the she-male pushed, arms threaded around Allen's arm even as he attempted, and failed, to push her off.

"Yeah, Allen, she'll make it worth your while. We can wait here for you to finish. I'm sure it won't take that long," Lavi taunted, arms crossed over her small chest and a smirk curving the corners of her mouth. She leaned back against a booth full to the brim with fresh fruits.

Antonio leaned beside her, grinning. "Yes Allen, don't worry, we'll wait here for you. Go off and have some fun," he coaxed.

"Guys, stop it! That's not funny!" Allen shouted at them, pulling against the strong grip of the she-male, "No, stop it. Please! I don't want to. I have a boyfriend!"

That stopped the she-male in her tracks. She detached herself from his arm, pouting slightly. "Dang it, I thought you were single for sure. That's no fair. I really wanted to screw you, and maybe turn you gay." She shrugged her broad shoulders. "Oh well, on to the next!" She moved away from the group, holding her hand to her brow in search for her next victim.

Allen fell into a chair, dropping his head into his hand. "I felt something move," he whispered miserably, shaking his head in shame.

"Oh," Lavi said in amazement, watching at the woman disappeared into the crowd, "That seriously was a guy. I couldn't tell through the make-up, dress, long hair, and androgynous facial features and physique. I guess the no boobs should have alerted me. Kinda reminds me of Kanda except more feminine."

Lenalee and Lovino had to hold Kanda down so that she wouldn't propel herself at the red-head and start strangling her. She struggled against their tight grip, slowly gaining headway as their feet began to slip against the dirt on the stones of the road.

"I didn't know you knew such large words, Lavi," Allen quipped sarcastically, glaring up at her.

"She's what we call a transvestite," Antonio interjected, "She's a really nice guy. It's too bad she likes to bat for the other team. She'd make some lady a good husband, but I guess all is fair in love and war." He shrugged just as the she-male had like it was an everyday thing. The pair stared at him, squinting as if to see his point. "Anyway, let's go get some food, and maybe we should pick up our lovers from behind that stand." He pointed over his shoulder to the stand where Lenalee and Lovino were still having trouble containing the little raging woman.

They stopped at Antonio's words, glancing up at them. Lovino and Kanda scowled, piercing the trio with glares, while Lenalee was all smiles. "Ah, looks like you caught us. Oh well, now that we're all together, let's go get something to eat," she said, cheery as ever. She jumped to her feet, dragging Kanda up with her. She dusted the dirt from her clothes before taking a spot beside Allen.

Before anyone could say another word, Allen's stomach took the decision from them. He grumbled like a sleeping dinosaur. Everyone glanced to the blushing teen, all of them laughing except for the two disgruntled teens standing shoulder to shoulder with their arms crossed tightly over their chests.

"Looks like that's a yes," Lenalee laughed, ruffling her friend's white hair affectionately.

**Wow, I haven't updated in a week. What a great author I am *rolls eyes* Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter as much as I did. I don't have any excuses this time around for why I'm late on the update. I do have a reason not to really update for a while from now. I've got the AP English Lang test to take on Friday (2 hours of multiple choice and then another 2 to write 3 essays), and then I have this Dollhouse of Death thing I've got for Forensics, so yeah, kind of a full plate. I've also been working on a Raven Boys fanfic. On top of that, my friend has gotten me addicted to the BBC edition of Sherlock, the TV show. I only started watching it 2 days ago and yet I am already in the fiery pits of fandom hell, and I've shipped Sherlock and Watson since episode one so… Yeah, I'm fucked -_-**

**Anyway, circling back to the original topic, how did you like this chapter? Did you hate it? Was it funny? Was it completely 'what the fuck' status?**


	11. Chapter 11: A Walk Down the Street

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man**

**Sorry for any grammar mistakes, especially on the Spanish. Oh, and I didn't provide translations for the Spanish, sorry, it's just late and I'm tired, but if you put them into Google translate they actually come out exactly as I wanted. I checked. I hate Google translate, but my knowledge of Spanish was not high enough to put together most of the sentences, simple as they were -_- Anyway, don't kill me, kill Google translate if they are utterly and entirely wrong.**

Chapter 11: A Walk Down the Street

"How long has it been since we last saw a sign of the innocence?" Lavi complained, wiping a hand across her forehead, her hammer still clutched in her hand from their most recent run in with the Akuma. There seemed to be no end to the damn things. Whenever they finished one set of twenty, another set of forty would be waiting for them the next day. It was maddening.

Allen dropped onto the bed across from where his friend sat, falling back into the fluffy comforter. "A month. We may have not seen it, but the amount of Akuma says that the innocence is still somewhere in this town," he said, letting him mind drift into a half sleep. Even though he was still covered from head to toe in Akuma oil, he was too tired to give a single fuck.

"Where did the girls and Lovi go?" Antonio asked, walking into a room with a tray of tea. He set it on the side table beside Allen's head with a quiet clank. "Tea, you two?"

"Sure," Lavi mumbled, waving her hand about without much purpose. She didn't lift her head or even open her eyes to look at him.

Allen lifted his head just enough to catch a glimpse of Antonio. "They went to get some sweets. And, I think, to buy a new dress for Kanda. He's not gonna like that at all," he chuckled, eyes closing.

"I don't know why you're laughing. You're the one who's going to have to sleep with him tonight," Lavi quipped.

"Why do you do that?" Antonio asked before Allen could throw her a reply, holding out a cup to Lavi which she took without opening her one visible eye. He handed the next to the man he was talking to.

"Do what?" Allen asked as way of reply, voice distant.

"Use the pronoun he to describe Señorita Kanda. Is there something we don't know about her?" He waited for a long moment for his friend's answer, believing him to only be think, but when he turned, he found both Lavi and Allen sound asleep. Lavi snored loudly, her mouth agape, while Allen breathed deeply and quietly.

Laughing quietly, he shook his head. Stripping his friends of their sullied clothing so they wouldn't get Akuma oil all over the blankets, he tucked blankets around them. "I think I'll go find Lovi and the girls," he told his sleeping companions before slipping from the room.

...

"I don't need a dress, dammit!" Kanda shouted at Lenalee, struggling against Lovino's arms as he held her in place so Lenalee could hold a dress up to her front, comparing sizes.

"'Course you do," Lenalee countered, "Every cute girl needs a few dresses in her closet and I'm sure Allen will appreciate seeing you wearing one. Plus, these Spanish dresses are so cute." She grinned, pressing the dress to her front and spinning so the bottom flared out in an arc.

"Then buy it for yourself! Don't drag me into this!" Kanda shouted, glaring at her, "And stop using Beansprout against me!"

"Oh, but why would I do that when I know he's a good incentive? In other words, he works on you like sex does on Lavi." She smiled wider, turning to flip through the dresses the stall had hung up. "Maybe we could get some lingerie as well. Oh, Allen would **really** appreciate that."

Kanda raised an eyebrow at her, deciding she'd try and put that last comment out of her mind by turning the conversation towards her. "You bribe your boyfriend with sex?"

"All the time," Lenalee replied with that sweet innocent smile, "Now which would you rather have red, blue, black, purple or pink?"

Kanda sighed in resignation. "I don't care, blue or black. Do what you want, but let's get something to eat before you continue shopping." They'd only eaten around an hour before, but there was something her body was craving. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, and she had a feeling she really didn't want to why or for what she was craving.

Lenalee gave her a curious look. It wasn't exactly normal for Kanda to eat more than three meals a day, and sometimes not even that. "Well, we have those sweets we picked up to tempt Allen into doing a midnight patrol. You could have a few of those," she suggested as Lovino bartered with the stall owner in fluent Spanish. She opened the small bag of hard candy, holding it out to her.

"I hate sweets," Kanda gripped, wrinkling her nose at the bag, but her stomach thought differently of the idea. It growled loudly, trying to deny her claim it seemed. Denying her stomach, she turned her nose up at the bag. "I'm going to go find something else," she said, walking off without waiting for a reply.

Shrugging, Lenalee returned to her browsing. Kanda could handle herself perfectly fine so she knew there was no need to babysit the irritable samurai. The only thing she was really worried about was someone irritating the girl to the point that she drew her sword.

"Gracias," Lovino said with a flirtatious smile, taking the bag the stall owner offered to him. He turned and frowned. "Where did Manoscritto Kanda go?" He hurried across the road to Lenalee.

"He went to find something to eat. He went off that way," Lenalee replied, waving vaguely in the direction the other woman had disappeared. She ogled an ornately crafted rosary, running her fingers along the surface. She didn't care all that much for the religion it represented, but she could appreciate its beauty.

"Why do I have a feeling she's going to bump into Toni?" he asked aloud, looking to her with worry lines forming between his eyebrows.

She frowned, standing straight. "I don't know, but if that's going to be the case, we should find Kanda before that actually happens. He may be dating Allen, but people like Allen irritate him a lot. Antonio is Allen times two." They hurried down the road, but were quickly distracted by the bright colors of a stall.

Little did they know that far down the road, their fear was about to transpire in a more literal sense than they would have hoped. Kanda walked along at a leisurely pace, paying attention only to the food stalls lining the sides of the road, filling the air with the delicious scents of all different types of food. She collided with a very solid chest, reeling back and clutching her nose. "Dammit," she snarled, glaring up at the person she'd hit, "I'm going to ki… Antonio?" She came up short, her eyebrows pulling together.

"Oh, Señorita Kanda, I've been looking for you, Señorita Lenalee, and Lovi," Antonio said cheerily.

"Why? Did something happen? Is Allen alright?" she asked, her voice calm even as little spurts of panic flooded her system, the last question slipping out before she could contain it.

Antonio grinned. "Oh no, not at all. Well, Señor Allen is perfectly fine of course. He and Señorita Lavi just fell asleep," he explained quickly, waving his hands in dismissal, "So, what are you doing out here by yourself? Where are the other two? It's dangerous for a girl of your age and beauty."

"Tch," Kanda scoffed, turning her face away, but answered anyway. "I'm looking for something worth eating. The other two are down the street looking at the stalls buying shit we have no need for."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that, I'm sure the things are very important. I know some good food around here if you're willing to walk with me. Have you ever heard of paella?" Antonio asked enthusiastically, grabbing Kanda's wrist and pulling her along towards a stall with something that smelled of chicken and a variety of spices. A fine scented mist floated towards their faces, steam from the cooking.

"No," Kanda said without hostility and more curiosity, something that doesn't happen often.

"It's delicious," Antonio gushed, "It has red peppers and a handful of spices that aren't actually spicy, chicken, and rice. I think you'll like it."

They stood in line for all of five minutes before they'd finally reached the front of the line and were greeted with the smiling face of a young man. He had shockingly blonde hair and startling blue eyes. He looked Kanda up and down with an appreciative eye. He couldn't have been more than a year older than Antonio, if that. "¿Tu novia?" he asked Antonio in a thick French accent. He couldn't have been Spanish, but Antonio didn't seemed surprised to see him there.

Kanda didn't like the suggestive tone the man had to his words. She narrowed his eyes at him attempting in vain to understand the unfamiliar language. It was nothing like English or Japanese.

"No, ella es mi amiga," Antonio replied with a wry smile, "Mi novio está fuera con un amigo."

"Sabía que eras gay!" the man cackled, grinning at Antonio, "¿Cuántos?"

Antonio shook his head. "You would know. Dos," he said, switching to English for little more than a moment, holding up two fingers.

The man handed over two huge bowls that would have made Allen drool in anticipation, taking the money Antonio handed him in return. "Gracias. Y hermosa bonita, be safe!"

Kanda frowned at the man, muttering, "Thanks," before following Antonio back the way they'd come, "Why can't you people just pick one language to speak in, Jesus."

"Because it's more fun this way," Antonio replied cheerfully, "Though why he was here…" He trailed off, letting his words disappear into his own thoughts.

They ate in a surprisingly comfortable silence occasionally commenting on an overly colorful stall or a particularly interesting person on the street. "Hey, there you two are!" they heard Lenalee's voice call. Glancing up, they were greeted with the sight of Lenalee waving for them over the heads of the throng of people, and Lovino laden with bags stuffed full with clothes.

"We were looking for you," Antonio called back, waving his fork above his head. Well, it wasn't a completely lie was least.

"So you found something to eat?" Lenalee asked as she fell into step beside Kanda, her mouth watering at the sight of the food.

"Obviously," Kanda quipped. She held out the bowl for her to try some so that she would quit drooling everywhere, mainly into her bowl.

She scooped a forkful into her mouth and hummed in appreciation. "That's really good," she mumbled around the bite, covering her mouth with her hand, "I really like that."

Kanda conceded with a nod, returning her attention to her food. They walked back to the inn without incident, Lenalee and Lovino somehow picking out of Antonio's and Kanda's bowls without their hands being bitten off.

They opened Allen and Kanda's room door to find the pair groggily drinking cold tea in nothing but their underwear with blankets pulled around their shoulders. Kanda raised her eyebrow at Allen. "Exactly, where have your clothes disappeared to? They didn't just up and walk off your body."

"On the floor." He pointed to the oily pile with his pinky.

"Why?"

"Dunno."

"I took their clothes off so they wouldn't get the blankets dirty," Antonio explained, setting his bowl in front of Lavi, "You can have the rest. We're done."

Kanda jumped up on the bed, dropping against the wall beside her lover. "Here, beansprout, the rest is for you," Kanda said, holding out the half filled bowl.

Allen's stomach grumbled loudly, insistantly. Light sparked in his eyes, and he seemed to fully awaken. "Thanks," he said enthusiastically, taking the bowl and shoveling the food into his mouth without pause. "Ah, this is fantastic," he mumbled around the mouthful of food.

"Now what?" Lovino asked from where he leaned against the window. He'd dropped the bags by the table and was rubbing his sore arms to bring the blood flow back to them.

"Another patrol, then?" Allen suggested, setting the empty bowl on the bedside table. The others nodded in response. "After dinner of course." His friends rolled their eyes in unison.

**Well, there you go. Sorry for the lateness. Hope you liked it. All I can say is that fucking AP test I took was shit and ridiculous and a complete waste of my time. I could have spent those four hours writing up this chapter -_- Anyway, can any of you guess who the stall attendant was? It's not really hard to think of xD How was it? Interesting? Funny?**


	12. Chapter 12: Sickness Cured

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

Chapter 12: Sickness Cured

"Well, looks like that midnight patrol has just been cancelled," Lavi mumbled bitterly to Lenalee, leaning against the wall outside of the bathroom. They could hear Kanda retching, vomiting her guts out, and Allen's soothing words. Kanda had already told him multiple times to piss off, but in her compromised state, she'd been unable to go through with any threats she'd made at him.

"Fuck everything," Kanda snarled the moment she could get a word in, "This is so disgraceful." She gripped the sides of the toilet attempting to push herself up. Allen's hands simply pushed her back down again.

"Nothing's disgraceful about being sick. It's a natural part of life," Allen he her, holding her long hair out of her face. He was having trouble keeping his own hair out of the mess. It kept slipping forward to drape over his shoulder. "How the fuck do you deal with having long hair? This is ridiculous," he growled, pulling one hand away from the makeshift ponytail to throw his hair back over his shoulder for the hundredth time.

If Kanda could have sneered, she would have. "I got used to it," she grumbled in the middle of a reprieve. Her breathe came hard, pushing through her teeth in pained gasps. "Fuck my life."

"Fuck your couch," Allen replied teasingly, the response immediate. It had been something that had started between them after a certain mission they'd been on together that still had annoyance swirling through them when they so much as remembered it. Every time they'd been just about ready to fuck on the couch, of all things, in their room, their clothes already stripped of their bodies, someone or something had interrupted them. They hadn't truly understood how hard and awkward it was to fight with hard erections until that mission. Each time, Kanda had growled, "Fuck my life," and Allen had growled into the cushion behind Kanda's shoulder, irritation clouding his mind so that his words came without thought, "Fuck your couch."

Kanda snorted, the memories of the mission flooding her thoughts. She coughed a few more times before pushing herself up. "I feel better," she said, flushing the toilet and moving to the sink to brush her teeth, a spring in her step, "Let's get going on that patrol."

"Uuuummm..." Allen mumbled, confusion coursing through his being. He stared at his lover's back from the floor, unsure of how to proceed. Was he supposed to deny her access to the outside word and detain her to bed? Was he supposed to let her go? Was she even completely alright?

"Dude, weren't you just puking your guts out two seconds ago?" Lavi cried incredulously, poking her head around the corner to peek into the bathroom. She pushed off the wall as Kanda made her way out followed by an utterly confuzzled Allen. Lavi and Allen exchanged shocked, confused looks. They hurried after Kanda, trying to catch up with her long, proud stride.

Instead of answering, Kanda looked at her with an arching eyebrow and shot back, "Are we going on the midnight patrol or are we just going to sit around like a bunch of idiots with no idea how to proceed?"

"B-but..." Lavi was at a loss of words for once in her life. She gaped at her friend, watching her move around as if she hadn't just lost all of the food she'd eaten in the last three hours. And trust Lavi when she said it had been **a lot** of food. The amount the girl had consumed could have rivaled Allen's food consumption.

"I liked that paella stuff to," Kanda grumbled to herself low enough that only Lenalee, seated close to her, could hear her.

The other woman frowned at her, not as lost as the other two seemed to be. "Kanda, have you had your period for this month?" she asked suddenly, standing and dusting off the back of her skirt. She watched her seriously, waiting for an answer.

Kanda scoffed. "Why would I get that every month?"

"Because that's how the female body works."

"But I'm not…" Her words petered off into nothing as a thinly veiled look of horror crossed Kanda's face. "Screw the female body. I refuse to bleed out of my vagina every four weeks.

Lenalee couldn't help but laugh. "I'm going to take that as a no." She sighed, rubbing her forehead. She didn't know how to phrase this delicately. Either way the other woman would have a freak out and... Well, she didn't really know how she'd react after that. Maybe kill Allen. "You may not have to deal with it, but you may end up saddled with something much worse that is good at the same time," she mumbled under her breath.

Kanda rolled her eyes. "Are we going to go on that patrol or just sit here asking pointless questions and making up stupid theories?" Kanda snapped, flinging the door open and making her way downstairs none too quietly.

Patrons that shared their hall poked their heads out their doors curiously, looking up and down the hall with blurry, sleep clouded eyes. "Sorry, sorry, my friend doesn't know how to be quiet," Lenalee called down to them, an apologetic smile curving her lips. The other patrons disappeared back into their rooms except for Antonio and Lovino.

Lenalee sighed, answering for her confused friends. In their muddled state, they didn't seem to be able to work their mouths as well as they should, which was probably better for everyone in the long run. "We're coming. We're coming," she called back, grabbing Lavi and Allen by their collars and dragging them out the door.

"Can we help with anything?" Antonio asked, standing in the doorway to their bedroom, Lovino leaning against the frame beside him. They watched Lenalee toss Allen and Lavi down the stairs, leaving them to tumble their way down.

"No, we're fine. Just stay here and stay safe alright," she told them with a glittering smile. Her sparkle was dulled just the slightest with tiredness, worry tightening the muscles around her mouth and eyes just slightly, making her looks several years older than her natural age.

Antonio smiled just brightly back, snaking an arm around Lovino's waist. "Alright, you be careful too Lenalee. Keep those other three safe too, will you? Tell Kanda, Allen, and Lavi to be careful too." He and Lenalee shared a knowing look before they both turned. Antonio pulled Lovino back into the room while Lenalee descended the stairs silently.

She caught up with the other three just outside of the inn. "So what do you say about taking another look around the woods?" The others shrugged. They didn't care where they went as long as they found some sign of the innocence.

...

"What is that?" Kanda shot over his shoulder, pulling to a screeching halt. She stared into the gloomy darkness, her eyes narrowing to slits. He night vision was fantastic, but it was better than most and being at the front of the group helped her see futher.

Lavi and Allen slammed into her back, but she didn't even sway, as if the wind had merely blown against her. Lenalee pulled up beside her, staring into the gloom. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said truthfully. She squinted, trying to make out something, but all she could see was the dark expanse of blackness.

"What **is** that?" Allen murmured next, leaning over Kanda's shoulder. His night vision was much better than the other three, making it an easy task of seeing the object Kanda had seen. The question was deciphering exactly what it was. "Is that... a person?"

"I don't know, that's why I asked," Kanda snapped back irately.

Carefully, the group inched towards the black mass. When they were close enough to make it out, they came to a stop. They frowned in confusion, staring at the mass. The mass was just a huge puppy pile of cats sleeping right next to a fissure in the earth. The fissure was more than two meters in lengths and around half a meter wide, the edges of ragged earth upturned as if something had exploded from its depths.

"Aren't animals supposed to run away from stuff like this?" Lenalee asked, looking up at Allen with questioning eyes. She crouched beside the cats, stroking their fur. They stretched under her touch, purring loudly. "They're house cats."

He nodded. "They're supposed to run, but..." Without finish his sentence, Allen glanced around the forest surreptitiously, anxiety building in his chest. The gears surrounding his eyes spun slowly, undisturbed. He could feel it though. Just outside of his range, he could feel the presence of several Akuma. With them so far away, he couldn't pinpoint how many of them there were, exactly where they were, or what level they were, but he knew they were there.

"We need to get back to Antonio and Lovino. I have a bad feeling," Allen said, turning on his heel and beginning the trek back to the inn. The others followed without question, Kanda falling into step beside him. She silently stared ahead, her eyes scanning the horizon while his eyes scanned the forest for any movement.

They hadn't gotten more than thirty feet from the fissure when a streak of bright green flashed passed them. They pulled to a halt, staring after the fading light. For a moment, no one spoke or moved. The afterimage slowly faded from their retinas. All at once, they took off running, sprinting after the flash.

"Do you thunk that was the innocence?" Lavi asked.

"Yes!" Allen shouted back, letting his eyes follow where he'd seen it disappear to, "It's going in the direction of the inn." His breath stilled in his chest. He could see the Akuma now. There was three level 1 and a level 2. They surrounded the inn, leaving no room for escape. "The inn is being attacked!"

Screams shattered the still night air. In the distance, they saw the flash of fire igniting a building. The burning orange glow filled the night sky, chasing away the darkness. More screams joined the first ones, creating a horrible symphony of agony all around them.

"They're after Lovino and Antonio!" Lenalee cried, horrified. She took off ahead of the others, jumping onto the nearest roof. "I'm going ahead!" she shouted, taking just long enough to glance down at them and scan the horizon. She jumped from roof to roof at breakneck speed, only a mere blur to her companion's eyes.

"Let's hurry!" Allen shouted to his two fellow exorcists, not even taking the time to glance back to make sure they'd heard him. Even if they hadn't, they'd be thinking the exact same thing.

**Oh my holy heck, I am so sorry guys! I didn't mean to take **3 weeks** on this chapter. I do have a good reason though! I really do this time! My Microsoft word decided it'd be a fantastic time to take a crap on me, so I had to type this in the den which I really dislike because…you know…parents. Anyway, I am so sorry *bows to the all powerful reader* Tell me how this chapter was, yes? You can even yell at me. I won't be mad.**


	13. Chapter 13: Just One More Problem

**Sorry for any typos that may or may not be lurking in this piece of crap I call a chapter.**

**Disclaimer: DO. NOT. OWN. That is all.**

Chapter 13: Just One More Problem

"Antonio! Lovino!" the three heard Lenalee shouting. She fell slowly from the air, gaining speed with every passing second. "Get away from my friends!" She plowed into the head of the level two Akuma. It screamed in agony, spinning away to crash into the street.

"We're okay!" Antonio shouted from the middle of a circle made from stand statues. They'd linked arms, creating a wall between the pair and the Akuma. When an Akuma came too close to the inn, a statue would leap away from the line, swinging whatever weapon it clutched in its hands. The others would close ranks until the statue could step back into the circle. "Three of those pieces of innocence came to me! One of them made an axe in my hands! What am I supposed to do with it?"

"Stay put!" Lenalee cried at him, alighting gently on the edge of the roof.

"Give us this innocence!" a voice screeched from behind her, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

"Lenalee, watch out!" Allen shouted, occupied with shoving his hand through a level 1, "It's a level 3!" Lenalee began to swing around, but it was already too late.

The level 3 retracted its foot, ready to send her flying until another voice broke through the cacophony. "Little hammer, big hammer, grow, grow, grow!" Lavi shouted. Her hammer, ten times bigger than it had been only moments before, smashed into the level 3 just as it was getting ready to send Lenalee flying across town with a well-placed blow to the side.

Allen and Kanda made quick work of the level ones, and the level 2 that had begun to rise from the rubble it'd been buried under. "You can have the innocence when I'm dead and fertilizing my fucking garden!" Kanda yelled at the level 3, curling her lip up at the grotesque creature.

"Lenalee! Lavi! Go check on Lovino and Antonio! Kanda and I will take it from here!" Allen shouted to the others as Kanda continued to yell obscenities at the level 3, landing beside his lover. He Clown Belt wrapped securely around the level 3, propelled the Akuma far over the buildings giving them a moment of reprieve.

"Okay," Lenalee called back, rapping an arm around Lavi's waist and jumping into the room. The statues stepped apart for them before closing ranks once more. "Be careful!"

"How do you want to do this?" Kanda asked casually, twirling her sword slowly through the air. Her smirk grew with the thought of battle.

"We attack at the same time, then after that, you circle around back while I stay in front as a distraction," Allen suggested, flexing his claws. As the level 3 approached them at full speed, he grabbed his wrist, pulling his sword forward, "Let's get this over with."

"Sounds good to me," Kanda said, her smirk widening into a smile.

...

"Thank you so much ma'am. We're sorry about your inn," Antonio told the elderly innkeeper in Spanish, closing the door gently behind him as she bustled off to figure out how to fix her inn. She'd been very accommodating, like most old ladies. He had a sneaking suspicion though that she was only being nice because she thought gays were cute.

"You can't keep monsters from destroying things," she'd chuckled good-naturedly, "I'm just glad those things are gone."

Letting go of a long suffering sigh, he hurried over to Lovino. He was laid out on the floor, gasping for breath. The statues still held their stance around their rag-tag group, ready to destroy the first thing that meant them harm. "Is he alright?" Antonio asked Lenalee anxiously, dropping to his knees beside her.

"He won't be if he doesn't deactivate his innocence," she replied, worry plain in her voice, "Lovino, please. You have to deactivate. Your body can't handle the strain of sustaining the activation yet."

"Monsters. Akuma. They'll kill all of us," he whispered breathlessly, cringing in on himself as the innocence sent out another wave of power. His eyes were screwed tightly shut against anything he might glimpse.

"Lovino, honey, it's fine now. Allen and Kanda and Lenalee and Lavi destroyed them all. They can't hurt us now," Antonio soothed, brushing his bangs back from his face, "Please, I don't want you getting hurt."

"Yeah," Allen piped up, "All the Akuma are gone. They won't be bothering us."

Lovino sucked in a shaky breath, holding it in his lungs. He let it out slowly, his innocence deactivating with an explosive _BANG!_ The others were thrown back into the statues, letting out gasps of surprise and groans of pain as they made impact. His head rolled to the side, and he went still.

"Lovino?" Antonio said, scrambling back towards him, "Lovino? Lovino, wake up please!" He pulled the other man into his arms, shaking his shoulders gently, his eyes wild with fear.

"Antonio! Antonio, stop! He's fine," Allen said, grabbing the man's hands, stopping his futile attempt at waking his lover, "He's just sleeping. He's perfectly fine." He smiled reassuringly, his glowed hand covering Antonio's wrapped around Lovi's shoulder.

Antonio looked to him, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. He dropped his head into Lovino's stomach, tears coming fast. His shoulders shook violently, but he was silent.

Allen rubbed his back soothingly, not sure whether the man was crying out of fear or relief. Maybe it was both. He glanced around at the others. "So we're all here and intact, and we've got all the pieces of innocence?" he asked, looking to Lavi since she seemed to be the most untouched, and was the one who kept the most precise lists.

She nodded. "Yep, I guess that means we can go home in the morning." She sighed happily at the thought, slipping until she was spread eagle on the floor with a stupid grin plastered to her face. "Finally, a real bed with real privacy, and a real bath that I can soak in for hours. Oh blessed home!"

"Thank god," Allen whispered, sighing deeply, "I've never been so happy to go back to that place since Rouvelier left."

"Speaking of the innocence, where is it?" Kanda asked irritably, still sitting against the statue she'd been flung at. She sat with her legs crossed at the ankles, Mugen resting against her shoulder, leaning back against the statue of a tall handsome man holding a sword at his side.

"Well, Antonio has the three that flew up here and Lovino has the other that we found like a month ago," Lavi recited, ticking the pieces off on her fingers. She puckered out her bottom lip. "Wow, that's a lot of innocence. No wonder we had so much trouble."

"You think?" Kanda shot at him sarcastically before turning to Antonio, "Let me see the extras." She held out her hand and effectively surprised the entire group.

Except Antonio, it seemed. He sat up slowly, wiping the tears from his face with the heel of his hand. He reached deep into her pocket, pulling the small glowing materials from its depths. He gingerly handed them to the moody Samurai, watching as her hand pulled back to cradle them against her chest, before returning to standing sentry over Lovino.

They glowed brighter in Kanda's grasp. She examined them with narrowed eyes, confusion hidden in her dark eyes. She ran thin fingers over the pieces, pausing as the intensity increased once more.

The group was silent, watching her curiously. After a few moments, she clapped a hand over her mouth and jumped to her feet. "I'm going to fucking puke," she snarled. Mugen clattered to the floor as she rushed through a small gap between the statues to the bathroom. The door slammed shut with enough force to shatter a window, and seconds later they could hear her disgorging whatever was left in her stomach.

She still had the innocence.

"I don't understand," Allen muttered, looking to Lenalee with worried slate grey eyes, "He was fine just this morning. Then…then…then this! All this puking! Did he get food poisoning?"

Lenalee looked as if she were going to be sick herself. She shook her head, rubbing her arm self-consciously. "No. I don't think so." Silence reined over them, only broken by Kanda's retching. Allen flinched periodically.

Kanda threw the door back open, her teeth brushed, the toilet flushed, and her eyes wide with horror. She paced back and forth in from of the statues, her hands pressed together in from of her mouth.

"What? What is it? What happened?" Allen asked urgently, jumping to his feet and rushing towards her. He tried to squeeze through the slot she'd pushed though, but he couldn't get his shoulders through. He frowned, digging his nails into the stone. "Can you come back in here?"

"They're gone," Kanda whispered so quietly that the others could barely hear her, ignoring Allen's request.

"What's gone, Kanda?" Lenalee asked, getting to her feet as worry started to invade her.

"The innocence." It was so silent that you could have heard a needle hit the floor.

"What?" Lavi asked, standing slowly with the rest.

"The innocence is gone. How many fucking times do I have to say it! I had them in my hand pressed to the floor one minute, and then the next they were gone! I checked everywhere. They're totally gone." She dropped her eyes to the ground, her hands shaking slightly. She clenched them into fists.

Lenalee's lips pressed into a tight line. "I have an idea where they've gone."

"Where?" Allen asked, looking over his shoulder at her.

She shook her head. "We need to get home as soon as possible. We've got a lot to deal with when we get back."

Her three friends frowned. She shared a knowing look with Antonio, their eyes flicking between each other's and Kanda's, before he dropped his eyes. He hand slowly stroked Lovino's hair, his touch loving.

"What's wrong? Why do we have to get back so quickly?" Allen asked worriedly, pulling Kanda through the hole between the statues to his chest.

She struggled against me, swatting at his hands. "You want to be here any longer?" she growled, gnawing on his wrist without meaning to maim.

Lenalee shook her head. "I'm going to go ask the innkeeper to use her phone," she mumbled, disappearing through the door. Lavi and Allen exchanged worried looks.

**Sorry for the lateness of the chapter. Two more days of school left for me :D Yay! I have to play with the Orchestra for graduation tomorrow, yay. -_- That'll be interesting. I just hope I don't die like I did the two years before. My wish most likely won't come true, but we'll see. The chapters should start speeding up after school's out and I finish my summer assignment. Anyway, hope you liked the chapter. See you in a couple days!**


	14. Chapter 14: Tests and Results

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man and never will!**

**Sorry for any typos I may have missed.**

Chapter 14: Tests and Results

"General Cross!" Lenalee called, taking off after the red-headed devil disappearing around the corner.

"Where are you going?" Lavi shouted to her, but stayed where she was beside Kanda and Allen.

"I have to go talk to General Cross about something," she replied, pausing at the corner to glance at her. Her eyes flickered down the hall and to her girlfriend feverishly.

"About what?" Allen asked, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. He really didn't want Lenalee anywhere near that man alone, but he knew that if he tried to stop her, he'd find something chopped off the next morning.

"Uh, nothing in particular." She fidgeted uncomfortably, staring down the hall Cross had seemingly dissolved in.

"Right…"

Kanda huffed, already fed up with the conversation. "Jeez, let's go before Link gets ahold of you. She's a big girl. She can take care of herself," she said almost scathingly, marching away.

"We'll meet you in the training room later then?" Allen asked.

"Yeah, sure," Lenalee said, taking off at a sprint without so much as a seconds reprieve. She tore through headquarters, searching room after room. You'd be surprised how fast Cross could disappear when he didn't want to interact with any living beings. It took Lenalee all of thirty minutes before she spotted him once more. "General Cross!" she called breathlessly.

The man had his long red hair pulled back in a ponytail, and he wore his white button-up T-shirt, like he usually wore when he wasn't planning on running off anytime soon. He turned, quirking an eyebrow at her. "Lenalee? What do you need? I don't need your brother trying to murder me discreetly again so make this quick."

She skidded to a stop, bending and dropping her hands on her knees. She gasped for breath, looking up at him through her bangs. "I think Kanda is pregnant."

Cross stared at her uncomprehendingly for what seemed like an eternity, but was more likely a mere ten minutes. "You think what now?" he finally asked, leaning forward to hear her better.

"I think... Kanda... is... pregnant," Lenalee repeated slowly, the words harder to push out the second time.

Cross stared at her for another long moment. He turned on his heel, marching towards the Science Division. "Come with me."

Lenalee followed after him without question. They skirted around the area that the Science Division had deemed theirs, entering a long forgotten laboratory in the depths of HQ. Cross closed and locked the door behind them before dropping into a cushy swivel chair. Though the room had been abandoned for years, it looked sparkling clean. Beakers bubbled with unknown, unlabeled liquids of different colors. Powders were lined up in rows along the shelves of a class-fronted cabinet. Lenalee supposed that despite Cross being a general, he was still the scientist he started out as. "So, explain to me why you believe the man-woman is pregnant, and how while you're at it," he said, lighting up and leaning heavily back in his chair, arms crossed tightly over his chest.

Lenalee raised an eyebrow. "I would like to think you'd know how it happened. It happened the normal way. Do we have to go through the whole 'birds and bees' talk? Because I really don't want to have a talk like that with a grown man."

"Don't even try, missy. I know things about pregnancy that would make you abstain from sex for the rest of your natural life, which would make a certain bookman Jr. very sexually frustrated," he threatened, pointing his cigarette at her.

She raised her hands in defense. "Sorry. Okay, um, well, he's been having cravings and yesterday he was having morning sickness. He hasn't had his period since he finished a month ago, a week after we got to Spain."

"So how did it happen? I trust you told them to use protection, a smart girl like you."

"Well, they said they forgot their first time. I got mad at them, but it didn't stop them so..." she trailed off, pink in the face.

Cross sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Fucking idiots," he muttered, shaking his head. They were silent as Cross let his cigarette burn to ash. "Fine, I'll do some tests on the she-male. Go find it, will you?" He turned his back to her towards one of the cabinets and began pulling things from its depths. All of his supplies had obviously been 'barrowed' from the Science and Medical Divisions, but she'd keep her mouth shut about that.

"Okay," Lenalee agreed, and took off out the door.

...

"Kaaaandaaaa," Lenalee called with a wide grin as she bounced into the training room where Kanda and Allen were taking to beating the holy hell out if each other, per usual. She was trying to cover the anxiety coursing through her body with her usual happy smiling demeanor. It wasn't working as well as she wanted. One faulty move by any of her companions would bring her mask crashing down.

"What do you want, woman?" Kanda shouted at her, not taking her eyes away from the fist fight she was currently in. She let a hook fly, catching her lover across the face and sending him to the sand. He jumped back up as if nothing had happened.

"Cross wants to see you so he can run some tests," she called back, her anxiety levels sky rocketing as Kanda narrowly blocked a kick to the stomach.

"What for?" she asked, sending Allen flying across the room with a kick to the face that he surprisingly managed to block.

Lenalee panicked for the space of a second, rushing to synthesize a valid reason for why he'd need to be running tests. "To make a vaccine to turn you two back to normal," she said quickly, squeaking loudly as Allen flew out of nowhere, aiming for Kanda's stomach. "Don't do that!" she shrieked, covering her mouth with her fists.

Allen skidded to a stop, arms wheeling through the air. The small Japanese girl took that moment and slammed her foot into his sternum, sending him to the floor for the second time. He groaned, clutching at his chest. Kanda grinned, "I win."

"Only because of interference," he coughed back.

Lavi pulled himself up onto the platform that separated the sand and the sidelines, face swollen and blood trickling from the side of her mouth. "Oh, I'll go with you then," she offered, "They already beat the shit out of me."

"No, just Kanda," Lenalee said quickly, grabbing the back of Kanda's shirt before she could start up another spat, and dragging her out the door.

Lavi stared after her, lip puckered in a pout. "I'll fight you," Marie offered, smiling from where he sat on the platform beside Miranda, Lovino and Antonio.

"Really?" Lavi said excitedly, sliding back to the sand, "I'll finally get a fair fight."

"Thank you," Lenalee whispered under her breath, knowing the large man had heard her.

Link passed them, a determined frown turning down the corners of his mouth. "Is Walker in there? He's been hiding from me since you all returned," the blonde asked, pausing just outside the door.

Lenalee smiled good-naturedly, though it was a little tight. "I have absolutely no clue where he is. I think he went back up to his room to sleep. We did just get back from a mission a couple hours ago," she lied smoothly, "Now if you'll excuse us, we have some pressing matters to attend to."

Link frowned, his eyes boring holes into their backs as they rushed away. The still very human Timcanpy strung his arms through the Crow's arm, grinning widely, pulling his attention back to what he was supposed to be doing. The golem took flight, zipping happily through the air and leading Link far from the training room and his master.

…..

Lenalee succeeded in dragging Kanda into Cross' lab before she managed to pry the woman's fingers from her shirt. "Fuck, what were you trying to do? Kill me? I could've walked perfectly fine on my own!" she snapped, glaring at the sheepish Chinese woman.

"Not likely," Cross input, spinning towards them as he stubbed out a cigarette in an ashtray now full of the things. A thin haze filled the room, slowly clearing thanks to the open window.

"What do you mean 'Not likely'?" Kanda snapped, glaring as Cross wheeled forward pulling a metal tray of silver instruments along behind him.

"She's not going to kill you, and soon, we're going to find out if her restraint was worth it," he replied, "Now shut up, sit down, and let me do my work or I might just inject your veins full of air. Wouldn't want that now would we?" He smiled his irritated smile before shoving the reluctant teen into a waiting chair and turning to his work.

Kanda gritted her teeth against the retort she had meant to spit at him, falling silent. She watched as he drew multiple vials of blood, more than seemed strictly necessary for making a simple vaccine, but she wasn't the scientist here. Finally, he strapped a patch of white gauze over the puncture. "Can I go now?" Kanda seethed, clenching her fingers to bring feeling back to her arm.

"No," Cross replied, moving away with the tray. He shoved it in a freezer, mist curling from the cavern as he opened the door. He snatched up a clear cup from his desk as he moved back. "I'm going to need you to pee in this."

Kanda's jaw fell slack, and she just stared at the man in front of her. "You want me to do what?" she asked.

"Piss. In. The. Cup. Was that clear enough for you, princess?" Cross growled, shoving the cup into her hands. She fumbled to keep hold of it, snatching it from the air before it could hit the tile. "There's a small bathroom over there." He jerked his head in the direction of a door, his back turned to the two females.

Narrowing her eyes, Kanda stood from her chair. She stomped to the door, muttering the whole while. "Making me fucking piss in a cup... Fucking ridiculous..."

"Are you done yet?" Cross called irately, the equipment for the urine test ready to go. He leaned beside the window, indulging in his bad habit of smoking. He blew the smoke out into the damp night.

"Can't I fucking zip up first! For fuck's sake, it's not like pissing in a cup like a guy!" she snarled through the door, kicking it open, sealed cup in hand.

"You don't have a penis so it shouldn't take so long to zip up. There's nothing there to get caught." Cross stubbed out his cigarette, holding out his hand. "Give it to me."

Kanda resisted the urge to chuck the cup at the man. Instead, she marched over to him and slammed the cup into his hand. "Can I go **now**?"

"No." Cross pushed away from the window. He snapped on latex gloves, setting the cup beside the equipment on his desk. With the man's back to them, Kanda couldn't see around his body at what the hell he was doing. They all stood in silence as he worked. After what seemed like an hour, the man turned back to them, a bored look in his one visible eye.

"I'm going to do some blood tests, but I can tell you the results I got from this," Cross said, addressing Lenalee and ignoring the still seething Japanese woman, pointing to the mess on the desk.

Lenalee nodded anxiously. "Yes, please."

Now Cross turned to Kanda. "Good job, princess. You managed to get implanted with my idiot apprentice's demon spawn."

**Well, there you go. I finally got to this damn chapter, haha. It was rather fun to write and the next one will be even more fun. I love to write Cross for some reason, especially scientist Cross and daddy Cross, but that one will come later. Now that summer vacation is here, I should be able to start cranking out chapter faster after this week. I just have to finish my summer assignment for Myths and Legends, then the game is one!**

**So, how was it? Was it funny? Interesting? Utterly, tear-inducing boring?**

**P.S.- Anyone participating in Camp NaNoWriMo in July? I'm thinking about it.**


	15. Chapter 15: Revelations

**So, I've just decided that we're going to pretend this is a while after the latest chapter of D. Gray-man. So, let's pretend somehow those two dipsticks somehow ended up going back to the Black Order. Maybe this story will actually turn into something with actual plot instead of being a "for the fuck of it" story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man**

Chapter 15: Revelations

"Kanda, come on, it's not that bad," Lenalee tried to coax the stunned teen from her corner of despair. She sat facing the junction, muttering to herself. Their ears were already burning, and they couldn't even hear the woman's mutterings. Lenalee approached her cautiously, as if she were a frightened wild animal that could react in anyway, dropping a hand down on her shoulder. "Kanda, everything is fine. Just try to breathe."

Cross leaned against the wall beside the open window, smoke trailing from his parted lips. "Yeah, everything is fine except maybe her pride," he just had to interject, a smirk twisting his lips, "It's curled up in a corner and died by now, I'd suspect."

Throwing the man a heated glare that just shouted '_Not helping!_', Lenalee put more pressure on her friend's shoulder. "Kanda, really, it's alright."

"Alright? **Alright**?! It is not alright! I have a thing growing inside me that I don't even want there! I'm a man! Not a woman! **This**," she waved a hand over her body, "Should not be possible! I can't get pregnant!"

"But your body is female so that means your body can be, no matter what you want or think," Cross said smoothly before Lenalee could get a word in, hardly concerned, "It's your own fault for not listening to Lenalee and using protection." He stubbed out his cigarette, returning to his desk. "Now I'm going to run some blo-"

He was cut off by Kanda's angry snarl. "Get it out of me. **Now**." She turned to the man, her dark eyes flashing with lightning and hatred.

Cross shook his head, loving having so much control over the brat. "Not without my idiot apprentice's approval." He shrugged.

"Um, I don't think you can remove the fetus anyway," Lenalee piped up, watching the brewing battle with sharp eyes. If they started going at it, she'd have to be the one to jump in and stop them before things got bloody. She really didn't need to be explaining to anyone why they were beating the ever living hell out of each other anyway, especially not Link who seemed to notice nearly every little thing. Except for when people were screwing each other. He never seemed to pick up on intimate relationships.

"What do you mean?" Cross asked before Kanda had the chance to snarl another word. She fumed silently, curling her fingers into fists that itched to slam into his smug face.

"Well on our mission…" She paused as she saw any color that had still been in Kanda's face drain away leaving her a pale that would have had Allen freaking out.

"You think... that the innocence..." she whispered, her voice sounding choked and uncharacteristically quiet.

Lenalee nodded, flashing her friend sympathetic eyes. "Yes. On our mission, there were two pieces of innocence that disappeared out of nowhere. It happened after Kanda had been holding them. We have no idea where they went, so we came home. I'd had an idea of where they'd gone, but I didn't want to say anything until we got those results back, yeah know, so I didn't make any false assumptions and cause an uproar." She motioned to the urine test still sitting out on the desk. "There was already enough to deal with, with the two new exorcists. I guess my assumptions weren't as false as I thought they were."

"That is interesting, that is very interesting indeed," Cross murmured, pulling Kanda from the corner and walking slowly around her, surveying her, "For the innocence to do this is… unheard of, but it has been doing many extraordinary things as of recently." He cupped his chin in one hand and his elbow in the other in contemplation, pacing towards the window.

"What's interesting? What's it doing? Is the innocence using me to create more exorcists?" Kanda spat resentfully, standing shakily and glaring at the man.

"Actually, it would have sensed new accommodators because you were already pregnant when it happened," Cross corrected, giving her body another once over, "In a few months, we'll find out if you have only one Satan spawn or two."

"What? Why would there be two?" Kanda asked, dropping her face into her hands in defeat. This was ridiculous. This was all so fucking ridiculous. Only in the Black Order would this ever happen. '_I should have gotten out when I had the chance.' _Her train of thought came to a screeching halt. _'No, if I'd done that then Allen would most likely be dead, and I'd be moping around some miserable city without a partner.'_

"Two pieces of innocence, it's plausible to assume there may be two accommodators," Cross explained with a shrug, taking up his position by the window again as he lit up once more, "It's also equally as plausible to assume you'll just give birth to one hellion who is an accommodator to two pieces of innocence."

"What are we supposed to do now while we wait for the rest of the results?" Lenalee asked, wrapping her arms around the shell-shocked woman with her face still buried in her hands.

Kanda was ready to die. She wished she could sink into the floor and disappear out of plain embarrassment. She could already see all of the tests Cross would be running on her. Her integrity and pride would be smashed to dust, never to be seen again.

"Ride it out," Cross replied simply, already piping blood samples into smaller test tubes, "Go down to Hevlaska, have her take a look at you. She'll probably have a more definitive reading on your situation that this test will, especially concerning the innocence. Don't fight or do anything stupid for a while. Go give into your cravings or something, have sex with my idiot apprentice, I don't care. Now if you don't mind, I have work to do. Leave." He waved them away, never even turning to look at them.

...

Hevlaska gently set Kanda back on the ground where she slumped against the railing. "I think I'm going to be sick," she groaned, dropping her head forward over the metal bar keeping her from throwing herself into the deep dark abyss beneath her feet. Lenalee ran to her, wrapping gentle hands around her shoulders.

"So Hevlaska, what are your findings? Is the innocence in Kanda?" Komui asked nonchalantly, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his lab coat.

"Both Lenalee and General Cross are correct in their assumptions," she said in the slow way of hers, "Kanda Yu is pregnant. The innocence has implanted itself within her for the accommodators she is currently creating. The children will be parasite types."

"Oh, fucking fantastic. Another black hole in my life," Kanda groaned, Hevlaska's true words flying right over her head as she slid to the floor despite Lenalee's arms around her.

"Two, to be precise," Hevlaska corrected.

"Three if you count yourself for the next 8 months," Komui said cheerfully, "In my experience, pregnant will eat anything to their liking as long as it doesn't make them throw up later." He grinned, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"We must not let Inspector Link discover this development," Hevlaska said, "I do not believe he is here on Rouvelier's orders, not after what happened, but his intentions are unclear."

Komui shook his head. "I don't believe so either. I don't think Rouvelier even knows he's here. We'll find out though soon enough, but for now, Kanda, stay out of his way, alright?"

Kanda waved her hand in affirmation, making retching noises. She wouldn't have to try very hard at the order. Link was already trying to avoid her as much as she could. "What do you mean two?" she gasped, looking up at Hevlaska, sweat dripping down her forehead. She hadn't actually vomited, but dry heaving was just as bad.

Hevlaska cocked her head at the small female in slight confusion. "There a two children growing within you," she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

This time, when Kanda started to retch, it was sloppy and nasty. Stomach acid burned up her throat, splattering against the metal mesh beneath her hands and knees. "Twins," she whispered in utter shock, eyes wide. She gripped the mesh tightly, her knuckles turning white.

"It would be best to tell Mr. Walker soon," Hevlaska advised, reaching out a hand and pressing it to the back of the girl's head, "He will be able to help you and divert Link's attention for now."

"I agree," Komui inserted, standing a few feet from his sister and Kanda. He could deal with everything, but a nearly catatonic vomiting Kanda was something he did not even want to go near. He may get his fingers bitten off if he so much as tried to help. Yep, he was perfectly fine where he was.

Kanda stiffened at the thought of having to tell Allen. She dropped her head down onto her clenched fists. "This is wrong. I should never have to tell him something like this," she whispered to herself.

"I'll help you, alright?" Lenalee offered reassuringly, rubbing her friend's back between her shoulder blades. Even if she hadn't heard the whispered words, she would have still offered. Kanda nodded without looking up or even grunting to say that she'd heard her.

**Well, there you go. Hope this was good enough. It was kind of a short chapter, but next should be longer. Sorry for the plot bunny that sprang up in this with Link and everything. As I said at the beginning, I might actually turn this into a full blown story. Or not. Who's to know? I certainly don't at the moment. It was getting hard to finish this chapter because I had work today for the first time and suck. 8 hours and I'm dead. I don't know how people do this every day. Anyway, tell me how it was. Was it funny? Sad? Stupid?**

**See you next chapter!**


	16. Chapter 16: Stalling

**Guys, you wanna know what I've been doing over the past week? I've been watching Supernatutal, finishing season 1 of both Hannibal and Game of Thrones, and watching Doctor Who while surfing Tumblr. Yes, I am lazy as heck.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man**

Chapter 16: Stalling

"Kanda! Lenalee! Geez, we've been looking for you guys all day!" Lavi shouted irately, sliding into the open seat beside Lenalee, glaring at the two females accusingly. She ripped off a chunk of meat from her shish-kebob.

"I was worried Master had taken off with you two or something. What kind of test did he want to run anyway? He didn't do anything inappropriate, did he?" Allen asked, a relieved smile playing across his lips. He slid in beside Kanda who had her head pressed to the smooth wood of the table, an arm wrapped around her abdomen. He dropped his food to the side of him before sliding soba in front of Kanda. "I didn't know if you had eaten lately so I brought you food."

Lenalee spoke up first, answering cheerfully so that Kanda didn't make a slip. Sure, Kanda needed to spill it to Allen, but that didn't mean she needed to do it here. "Do you really think Kanda would be here and not off burying a body if he had been? No, he just performed some blood tests, but they won't be done till tomorrow. Then he sent us down to Hevlaska, but we don't need to go into that."

Kanda stiffened in her seat. She didn't move her head from its place as she sniffed the air cautiously. "What the fuck is that smell? It smells terrible," she griped, slowly lifting her head to glare at the offending dish.

She went stalk still, staring at the soba Allen had placed in front of her. She slapped a hand over her mouth and nose, hurling herself at the next table. "What the fuck did you put in my food?!" she screeched.

Allen watched her, bemused. "I didn't put anything in your food. Jerry made it the same as always, and I brought it here just after he finished it."

"Well, it smells fucking repulsive!" she shouted at him. Her eyes slid over to Lenalee. She gave her an apologetic smile, and Kanda's hope crumbled as realization struck. Her skull cracked loudly against the wood as she dropped her head against the table. Her hair pooled around her head making it look like she was lying in a puddle of oil.

They stared at her questioningly for a long moment, but when she didn't move, they turned back to their food.

Lenalee pulled the soba towards her, sighing forlornly for her friend. "I'll eat the soba. Kanda, why don't you see if anything Allen has smells appealing," she suggested helpfully.

"No." Kanda shot down her idea without a second thought, not even turning to look at her.

Lenalee rolled her eyes. "Stop being a drama queen. The world isn't going to end if you can't eat your soba. You're going to starve over the next couple months if you adopt that attitude."

Kanda flung her the bird, before dropping her hand back to her abdomen. It was an unconscious movement that she hadn't fully realized she was doing yet.

"Love ya' too," Lenalee cooed, blowing a kiss at her, "But just not in that way. That's Allen's job."

"Why would he starve? He's only sick, right? So this'll go away in a few days," Lavi asked around a mouthful of food, not having heard her girlfriend's comment.

Lenalee disguised her laughter as coughing, shielding her mouth with her hand. "Yeah, sure, that's what's the matter. Definitely." She pressed the hand firmly over her mouth, trying to push back the giggles. Oh, the naivety of her companions was adorable. She couldn't wait to see what tortures these babies had in store for Kanda. There'd just be one after another.

A loud growl echoed around them. They frowned. Lenalee and Lavi glanced to Allen with raised eyebrows. "Really, Allen? You just ate. How can you be hungry again?" Lavi asked, "Are you that much of a glutton?"

"Hey! That wasn't me this time! And I haven't even finished eating yet," Allen shot back in an attempt to defend himself.

"Uh huh, well then, if it wasn't you, then who was it? Yu? I don't think so," Lavi taunted, "He has too much pride for something like that. It has to have been you."

"It wasn't me!" Allen growled, glaring at the red-head.

A smirk curled at the edges of Lenalee's lips, eyes trained on Kanda. The other two didn't even seem to notice. "Yeah, Kanda. It just _couldn't_ have been you." She grinned as the other girl turned to glare at her. She laced her fingers together under her chin, falling into a staring match with Kanda.

With a glower, Kanda returned to her seat beside Allen, watching him and Lavi banter loudly. Sighing with resignation, she reached over to Allen's plate, pulling it towards her before he could eat anymore. She snatched the fork he was shoving in Lavi's face from his fist, and stabbed the first thing on the plate. She didn't look at what was on the fork before shoving it in her mouth.

Silence fell around the group. Allen and Lavi stared at her in surprise, their eyes wide and their argument forgotten. Lenalee watched her, a satisfied smile lighting her face.

"Happy now?" Kanda grumbled around the food filling her mouth. Her eyes fell to the only half-finished tray soba, her nose wrinkling in disgust.

"Yes, very happy. Now you'll learn not to starve and maybe to even enjoy something other than soba," she replied, pulling the tray back towards her with a smirk.

Kanda scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I enjoy things other than soba."

"Allen's dick and cum don't count," Lenalee countered, pointing her chopsticks at her before slurping up the noodles which had the other girl glaring at her all over again. Lavi and Allen laughed, grinning at their companions.

Kanda shrugged. "Never said I enjoyed the taste."

"What?" Allen cried, staring horrified at his lover as both Lenalee and Lavi broke down in a fit of giggles. He paused, looking towards the ceiling thoughtfully. "Oh, that explains a lot." Lavi choked, Kanda smirked, and Lenalee just laughed harder.

…..

"Were you being serious earlier?" Allen questioned, hovering over a panting Kanda.

She glared up at him, her legs tightening around his bare waist. "Serious about what?" she snapped, irritation coloring her voice, "Breaking your fucking neck? Because I'm seriously considering it now."

"About not liking my taste."

Kanda growled, digging her fingernails into his shoulders, leaving little crescents of blood as she relaxed her fingers. "Why would I be in your bed if I'd actually been being serious?" she shot back, "Why are you even asking questions now of all times?" To emphasize her point, she ground her hips against his making his groan.

"Well, it just seemed like a good time," he replied, grabbing her hips to keep them still and pinned to the bed.

Kanda wriggled beneath him, grinding her teeth. She had been so close, **so close,** and then he had to go start asking stupid questions. He could have at least continued moving, but no, it was too hard to multitask apparently. She was going to give him hell for that the next chance she got. "Really? **This** was a good time? Fucking **really**? You need to rethink your priorities."

Allen chuckled, leaning forward to steal a kiss, but she turned her head away in agitation so he began kissing her neck instead, making her squirm. "You're my priority. I thought you knew that already."

"Well, you have a funny way of showing it." Grabbing the base of his ponytail, she pulled his head back, and simultaneously pressed him to her chest with the other arm. Smirking, she flipped them. "There, much better," she said as she came to rest on his lap, "Since you're not going to work, I will. You can keep asking your idiotic questions if you can still keep talking."

Allen was opening his mouth to retort when Kanda twitched her hips. The words he'd been planning to say turned into a gasping moan. "Yeah, that's what I thought," Kanda growled, leaning over him with a chuckle as she began to move her body. She bit his collar bone, leaving teeth marks that would bruise over. "Even when I'm a woman, you're still on bottom most of the time."

"I was on top a moment ago," Allen ground out, pushing down the groan that threatened to crawl up his throat.

"But you're not anymore."

…..

"Are you going to be getting your period any time soon?" Allen suddenly asked. They were curled up in his bed, the blankets pushed down so they only covered from their waists down. Allen lay on his back, looking sideways at Kanda who rested on her stomach, her head pillowed on his arm. Her hair flared out across her back like a blanket, spilling over her sides.

Kanda blinked lazily over at him, stretching slowly before commenting. "Not for a long time now. Why?"

"I just noticed it a little bit ago, but you have a little bump between your hips, like you're starting to bloat again, and your stomach sticks out a little more" Allen explained, turning on his side to run his hand up and down her spine. "You sure you're alright? My master didn't implant anything in you while he had you locked away for five hours?"

"It's fine. The only thing implanted in me, you put there yourself," she commented without really thinking about it.

Allen laughed, wrapping an arm around her to pull her closer. "What's that supposed to mean? Is that supposed to be a euphemism for something?"

"Not particularly," she mumbled. They lapsed into silence. It was a long time before Kanda's sluggish mind finally processed what Allen had told her. "What?" she shouted, rolling from the bed and coming up on her feet. She stared down at her naked body, and clear as day, her abdomen had a small kind of hill that stuck out just enough to make it obvious her pants were going to stop fitting. "Shit."

"Shit? Why shit? What's the matter? Is there something wrong with that bump? Are you sick? Are you okay? You're going to be okay. We'll make sure of it. Do you want to go talk to Master Cross? Or Komui? Or Lenalee?" Allen spouted off at the speed of light, making it nearly impossible to understand.

Good thing Kanda spoke 'idiot' and 'Allen'. She ground her teeth, snatching the pillow from the bed and chucking it at his face. "Shut up! You're incessant rambling is giving me a headache! It's not helping anything!"

"But-!"

"No 'buts'! Just shut up!" She pulled on her underwear, trying her pants. She was right, they didn't fit anymore. She tried Allen's and they didn't fit either. Reluctantly, she turned her eyes to the stack of dresses hanging off the back of a chair that Antonio and Allen had bought her together.

"Where are you going?" he asked, looking up at her as he slammed the pillow back to the bed. Finding her holding the hem of a dress, he cocked his head in confusion.

Kanda sighed loudly, turning from the offending pieces of clothing. "Nowhere. It's not like anyone is up right now anyway." Diving back under the covers, she gave her back to Allen.

"Are you sure everything is alright?" Allen questioned, wrapping a protective arm around his lover's waist, pulling her against his chest.

"Perfectly fine," she lied.

**Well, there you go. Allen is still in the dark, but I think he'll figure it out soon. Of course, Kanda had a chance to tell him, but she didn't take it because she'd a stubborn bastard and has to do everything the hard way. Yeah, I don't think she'll enjoy what I have planned for her *rubs hands together evilly* Anyway, I'm really sorry for not updating in I don't even know how long. If I have the time, I'll post another chapter tomorrow. Until then!**


	17. Chapter 17: Knowing When to Shut Up

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man or Hetalia**

Chapter 17: Knowing When to Shut Up

"Kanda!" Antonio called happily, bouncing towards the cautious woman with only smiles. He wore the Black Order's uniform, an axe strapped to his back. It looked to be black steel inlaid with silver curving in an intricate design.

Marie walked beside him, glancing around the training room curiously, his fingers pressed to the device over his ear. A frown curved down the corners of his lips, confusion distorting his usually smiling features. Miranda trailed behind him, looking up at him curiously.

"What do you want?" Kanda snapped, not turning to look at him from where she was squared off with Allen, Mugen at the ready. She wore one of the dresses she'd been dreading. It was a deep blue, cinching right under her boobs and flowing out around her to just above mid-thigh, leaving plenty of room to move.

Allen had his own sword out, watching Kanda cautiously. His eyes were constantly jerking up from the hem of the dress, distracted by the swaying of the material and the occasional flash of her plum purple panties. Heat flooded through his body, not all of it originating from the fight at hand.

"You look so pretty in that dress," Antonio complimented, dropping down beside Lenalee with a smile as a greeting, "But why are you wearing it, I wonder? You told me you'd never be caught dead in a dress." He set his weapon to his side, leaving a hand perpetually glued to the handle.

"Yeah, well, shit happens and things change," she replied, running at Allen, not giving the teen enough time to react before slamming into him hard enough to push him back through the sand.

Trails ran in front of him where the sand had broken around his feet. Allen sucked in a hard breath, glaring at his lover. "That hurt," he growled, gripping the hilt of his blade tighter.

"It was supposed to," Kanda replied snippily, taking off at him again. Their blades shrieked against each other, sparks flying from the two different metals.

"So, where's Lovino? I thought he'd be with you," Lavi asked, leaning back against the ledge dropping into the pit of sand. She looked utterly miserable, groaning as she dropped her head back against the cement. She wore loose black sweats, the waistband sliding down her hips, and a loose fitting black T-shirt that rode up exposing an inch of her flesh for public viewing.

"They kept him to work with his innocence a little more. He's having a more difficult time synchronizing than I did. Komui created his weapon though, and Lovi really loves it," Antonio said happily, rocking back and forth on the edge, "Komui said they'd have to work with us for a month or so before they can send us out on missions."

Lenalee grinned. "Well, that's good. It's a little different for everyone when you first synchronize, but I think he'll be fine. He has a will that seems hard to crush." She looked out across the training area and her smile froze. Allen and Kanda were grappling on the sandy floor, Kanda on top of the mess. They rolled, tugging at each other's clothing, spitting angry words. Kanda's dress had become more of a hindrance at that point. In a desperate attempt, Allen placed his foot against Kanda's abdomen and shoved her off. "Allen! What have I told you about crotch shots and stomach shots? Get off of each other! And Kanda, go put on some actual workout clothes!"

Kanda shot her an irritated look from beneath her opponent. Allen's face fell into guilt as he hovered over her, his hands pressing her wrists into the sand. He pushed himself up off of her, grabbing her hand and pulling her to her feet beside him.

Grumbling irately under her breathe, Kanda stalked off towards a side room, scooping up the extra workout clothes Allen had brought for her just in case she'd wanted to change. She came back moments later, the dress tossed over her arm and her hand pressed to her stomach. Mugen was slung over her shoulder.

"Kanda, are you feeling sick?" Allen asked, watching her with worried eyes.

"I'm fucking fine, moyashi," she snapped, flinging the dress onto the step and pulling her sword around her front. Her clothes were skin tight, showing off the small bump obvious to the world.

Allen watched her movements closely, looking for any slip. "You know, you've been sick an awful lot lately. I just want you to feel better."

"I said I'm fucking fine!" Kanda shouted at him, lunging for him as she pulled Mugen from his sheath.

Antonio stared at Kanda's front as she moved around the sand, getting views of the bump from different angles. Yup, it was definitely there and real. A stupid smile slowly spread across his lips. He was opening his mouth, getting ready to shout out his new revelation when Lovino fell on his shoulders, pressing his hand over the man's mouth. "Don't say a word."

"But why?" Antonio whined childishly.

"Because you're going to ruin everything for them!"

"Ruin what though? When have you been in on anything?"

"I haven't! I just pay more attention than you do, so don't say anything!" Lovi shouted, glaring at the Spaniard under him.

Antonio narrowed his eyes up at Lovino. He grabbed the front of his shirt, dragging Lovi down to his level. He pressed the other man's face into the stone, leaning back on him to keep him pinned and grinning widely at the pair standing in the middle of the sand pit breathing harshly.

"Kanda, why do I hear 3 heartbeats coming from you?" Marie asked suddenly, his blind eyes moving to focus on his teammate. He stared in the general direction of the woman, his fingers still pressed to his headphones.

"You're pregnant aren't you?" Antonio cooed like a mother hen, grinning widely like he just revealed the greatest thing in the world.

"You fucked up, stupid tomato bastard," Lovino groaned from the stones, sighing loudly at his lover's idiocy.

Miranda squeaked in surprise, turning shocked eyes to her black-haired friend. Marie paused, considering Antonio's words before taking them as true. Lavi choked on her own spit, pushing off from the wall. Lenalee sat there, her eyes growing wide as she watched Kanda and Allen skid to a stop. They stared wide-eyed at each other. After a long moment, Kanda took off running leaving Allen to stare into space, shock spread across his face.

"He's pregnant?" he whispered.

"Why were there three heartbeats?" Miranda asked quietly, looking up at Marie, her hand pressed over her mouth.

Lenalee sighed, running a hand through her short hair. "That's because he's not only pregnant with one child, but with twins." She looked up at her comrades, wondering exactly when they'd found out about Kanda's situation. '_Word spreads fast, I guess_.'

Allen's seemed to have ceased to breathe. Not one muscle was even twitched. "Twins," he whispered hoarsely.

Lenalee sighed forlornly, seeing her friend struggle. "Um, Allen," she said gently, "I think you should go after him." Without needing anymore prodding, Allen took off at a dead sprint in the direction Kanda disappeared.

"I hope everything works out. I'm so happy for them though," Miranda murmured, watching Allen's retreating back.

Marie smiled warmly, pulling her into his side. "They'll be fine."

"Oh my god, he's pregnant," Lavi gasped, laughter spilling from her mouth following her words, "He thought he'd be perfectly fine and get cured soon, but ha! Not anymore!" Lenalee slapped her upside the head hard, glaring down at her.

Lovi followed Lenalee's example, applying a brain duster to the back of his boyfriend's head. "You're an idiot!" he shouted, and Lenalee nodded her agreement.

…..

Kanda slowed to a stop, breathing hard. She leaned against the stone wall of the hall leading to Hevlaska's chamber and the Science Department. Inhaling deeply, she pressed her burning forehead against the cool stones that made up the walls. For a moment, she stood there in relative peace, then she remembered what had just happened.

"Son. Of. A. Bitch," she growled, slamming her head against the rough stone with every word, "Why did it have to be me? Why couldn't it be someone else? Why couldn't he have found out a different way?" The thud of her head against stone echoed through the hall. She wasn't doing it softly, but the self-harm wasn't ridiculously hard either. At least she wouldn't give herself a concussion like the time before.

"Who? Find out what?" a cheerful male voice that always seemed to put Kanda's teeth on edge asked suddenly from behind her.

On instinct, Kanda pulled Mugen as she spun towards the unexpected and unwanted visitor. "What do you want, old man?" she spat at him, glaring at her General with all of the annoyance she could muster that wasn't directed at the Spaniard who had just ruined her life.

"Can't I just want to see my daughter?" Tiedoll asked, smiling congenially.

Kanda ground her teeth, narrowing her eyes at the taller, older man. "I'm not your daughter, I'm your son. Just because my sex has changed doesn't mean my gender has, and my gender is still **male**. I still identify as a **male**," she corrected angrily. She groaned loudly as she realized what she'd just done.

"So you've accepted my love and our family!" Tiedoll shouted happily, pulling the rigid female into a bone crushing hug, lifting her feet from the floor, "It's taken you long enough. You should never keep someone waiting. It's rude, and I didn't raise you that way."

"You didn't raise me at all!" she wheezed out, holding her arm out to the side so she didn't accidentally stab him. If she was going to do that, she'd do it on purpose. "Stop spewing crazy, old man, and get off me!"

"Aw, but I love to hug you. It is oh so very fun, and I never get the opportunity to do so," he complained, though he slowly lowered her to the floor. He brushed invisible dust from her clothing, his eyes skating over the small baby bump, but completely registering its existence. "Now, I say we should make our way down to the gardens and have a nice long chat about why you were just causing yourself bodily harm. How does that sound? I'm sure your flowers are missing you too."

Kanda groaned in protest, but finally nodded in resignation. "Fine, let's go then. Just don't touch me again."

"Alright, alright, I get the message," Tiedoll chuckled, turning in the direction that would take them outside the quickest.

Kanda followed after him. Her hand found its way to her abdomen, unconsciously stroking the bump with gentle fingers.

Tiedoll didn't miss the action. Though she was still Kanda through and through, she still had factors that accompanied a female mind. He chuckled. "So, last night, Master Cross informed me of your situation, and Komui corroborated that with Hevlaska's assessment. Is that, possibly, what had you banging your head against a brick wall?"

"Ugh," she groaned as the memories from the training ran through her mind like streakers, dropping her head into an open palm, "No."

"Then what was the reason?"

Apprehension had her shrinking away from the very subject. She really, **really** didn't want to be having this conversation with her General, but she supposed he'd find out one way or another. "Allen," she mumbled.

"Yes, what about my son-in-law?"

Kanda went slack-jawed, staring at the older man. "I'm not married to him! I'd never even be able to marry him with the Black Order and their stupid rules!"

"Not yet you aren't," Tiedoll corrected, a confident smile curving his mustache, "The Order wouldn't have to know. Komui would support you two, and he's going to try his damnedest to keep your children out of their clutches, even knowing they're accommodators."

"We're not going to get married anyway. That's ridiculous," Kanda muttered, looking away towards the bright afternoon light.

"Why?"

"What?" Kanda asked, suddenly confused.

"Why is it so ridiculous? You love and trust each other, don't you? That's all you need to be married." Kanda was at a loss for words. She didn't have a need to speak because Tiedoll continued without her. "So, Allen, how does he factor into your bodily harm?"

Kanda looked away from him, a light flush crawling across her cheeks. They walked in silence towards her garden for a while as she formulated her answer. When they found a seat on the stone bench beside her flowers, she grasped for spoken words once more. "One of the new recruits, Antonio Fernandez, and Marie… they kind of spilled it to Allen. His reaction was… well, it wasn't good. He froze and he looked utterly horrified."

"Are you sure he wasn't just shocked? It is natural for someone who has been told something as monumental as his partner carrying his twins to go into shock. You could have just been projecting what you were feeling onto him," Tiedoll tried to reason with her, pulling his sketchbook forward and producing a piece of charcoal. He turned his body just enough that she wouldn't be able to see his drawing and so he could see her before beginning. "Allen is an honorable young man. I think if anything, he's ecstatic to be a father. Don't write him off just yet."

Silence filled the air around them. Thoughts ran through Kanda's mind unbidden, dragging her from one thing to another. She gnawed softly on her thumb nail, staring unseeingly at her flowers. God, she wished she could just rewind to the night before so she could tell Allen herself. Too bad that wasn't possible, not even for the Science Department.

Tiedoll pulled the sketch from his pad, handing it to her. "It'll be fine, Kanda. Everything will work out for the better." With that, he stood and returned to the building.

She stared down at the drawing in her hands. She'd always loved his artwork, though only in thought and not in voice. This time, he'd drawn her, sitting straight and proud beside him, her long black hair loose around her shoulders. Just a few feet away, Allen stood watching her.

Slowly lifting her head, Kanda caught those silver eyes that had been trained on her for well over and hour.

**Well, there you go. I hope the characters weren't too OOC. I feel as if they were.**

**From now on, I'm going to try to post one chapter from each story once a day. Like today is this one, tomorrow will be my new one, the day after that will be Hunted and so on. I'll take weekends off though. Wish me luck :D**


	18. Chapter 18: Discussion

**Okay, just so you guys know and we're all on the same page, Kanda is in about his 6-7 week of pregnancy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

Chapter 18: Discussion

"I don't want to talk about it," Kanda immediately said, folding the drawing into quarters and slipping it into her sports bra for safe keeping. Standing, she turned to disappear into the woods where she wouldn't have to talk to Allen and answer questions.

Allen caught her arm in a gentle grip. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked solemnly, sounding like a wounded puppy. His hand slid slowly from her arm to drape at his side uselessly.

Kanda was silent, staring unseeingly out into the trees. She really had no idea what to tell him that would be a sufficient answer. 'Because I could' didn't seem like it would fly over too well. Maybe, if she was lucky, if she stayed quiet long enough, he'd give up on the questions and just accept the situation for what it was.

"Do you hate me?" Allen whispered, staring at his feet in resignation. The sorrow beginning to leak from his every pore was thick enough to scoop into a bowl and eat.

Kanda shot him a hard glare. "Are you stupid?" she spat.

Allen jerked his head up at her, eyes wide with incredulity and mouth agape. "What? No! Why would you ask that? I'm trying to be serious!"

"Well, you're acting stupid!" Kanda retorted, "Do you really think I would have been in your bed this morning if I hated you that much? No, I wouldn't have. Stop jumping to conclusions and stop being stupid, baka moyashi!"

"I'm not though!" Allen tried to defend himself.

"You are!"

"Fine then! If you don't hate me, then why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? That's not something you hide from your boyfriend!"

"How was I supposed to know that? I only found out yesterday! Plus, I'm not a woman, I don't fuck them, and I didn't have a womanizer as my General!" She ticked off the reasons on her fingers, glaring pointedly at him.

"Well, you are one now so you need to start thinking of what could happen as one!" Allen shouted, his voice steadily rising with the rising of his partner's. If they hadn't been in the middle of Kanda's garden, and she wouldn't have been in the state she was, he would have already lunged for her throat in aggravation. The feeling was mutual, but Kanda was held back by the bile rising in her throat.

"I won't be forever, so don't even go there! Just because you're a fairy gay and think like a woman doesn't mean the rest of us ever will!"

"You will be for the next fucking eight months and probably some after that! And I am not a fairy gay! If anyone is, you are! You don't see me going around looking like a girl even when I'm a guy!"

"You know what?" Kanda snarled. She flexed her fingers, tightening them around Mugen's hilt threateningly. "I'm done with this conversation. I'm going to fucking kill you."

Allen laughed. "What? And raise a kid all on your own? You'd pull your hair out and kill the kid within the first week. You would never survive without me."

Kanda ground her teeth. She couldn't exactly dispute that accusation because it was probably truer than even her bloodlust. "It's not one, dipshit! Learn how to count!"

"I know how to fucking count!" Allen shouted back, the curses flowing as easily as any other words despite how little he usually cursed, "You need to learn about pregnancy! You only have one at a time!"

Kanda rolled her eyes in aggravation. "Twins, baka moyashi! Twins means two, not just one!"

The words settled around them, draping over their minds in blatant truth. Their argument came to a screeching halt as they stared at each other in utter surprise. Allen's response died in his throat, sounding like a dying cat instead of words. The words people had been spewing at them and they'd been shouting at each other finally registered in their minds.

"T-twins? We're going to be having twins. We're going to be parents!" Allen said, excitement seeping into his voice unbidden, coming out of his surprised shock first.

"Oh god, we're going to be having twins," Kanda whispered in horror, staring down at the dirt beneath her feet. She'd registered what Hevlaska had been telling her the day before, but now that Allen was here having the same realization, it was hitting her harder than ever. Everything Hevlaska had told her echoed in her ears. This was real, and it wasn't going to fade away into the background if she ignored it.

Allen rushed her, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her into the sky. He spun her, grinning widely. "We're going to be the parents of two beautiful children! That's fantastic!" he cried happily, dropping her to her feet and pressing his lips to hers.

Kanda pulled out of the kiss, shaking her head as hard as she could, the horror streaked across her face, and imbedding itself deep in her being. "No, it's not fantastic! Not at all! This is the furthest thing from fantastic!"

Allen's grin fell. He stared at her in confusion, watching the fear play across her features. "What do you mean? Do you not want them? Is that why you didn't tell me?"

Shoving him away, Kanda sat hard on the bench. "That's not what I said, idiot! Do you know where those two pieces of innocence disappeared to? They absorbed into my body."

She watched as realization slowly struck him. The horror and terror she'd been silently exuding seeped through his skin, poisoning the joy of being a new father. "The twins are going to be accommodators," he whispered.

"Yes. One way or another, the Order is going to get their hands on them. What do you think they are going to do to them? Definitely not let them go free. At best, they're going to make them fight this war with us," Kanda said, dropping her head into her hands, "I don't wish that fate on any children, and certainly not ours. It's bad enough that we lost our childhood to this war, but it's worse when unborn children and brats like Timothy have also already lost it."

"W-we'll hide them! We'll take them away from this place to somewhere where there's no fighting, no pain or suffering. Somewhere where the Order and the Earl can't touch them! They'll have to pry them from my cold dead hands before I give them up!" Allen shouted with such conviction that Kanda could almost believe that he was capable of such a feat.

She smiled sadly, staring down at her clasped hands. "I'd like to see you try." '_And succeed_,' she thought silently to herself.

"You will!" he said, cupping her face and pulling it up so he could stare into her dark blue irises. "Komui will help us, I'm sure of it! If we can't leave, he'll try his damnedest to keep the twins safe. He'd never want the Order getting his hands on them." He pulled her into another kiss, this time holding her firmly in place, kissing her deeply.

The fire in his eyes and the heat melting her from the inside out almost had Kanda jumping him right then and there. '_Geez, what are these kids doing to me?_' Kanda wondered silently, running her hands up into his still long hair, pulling just enough. Allen moaned quietly into her mouth. She grinned into the kiss, leaning into him.

"If I'd known what the two of you were doing, I wouldn't have come looking for you. I was worried for nothing," the voice of their ever observant bookman and friend shouted, setting Kanda's teeth on edge.

Accidently, she bit down hard on Allen's lower lip. The metallic taste of blood filled her mouth. "Ow!" Allen yipped, pulling back enough to run a thumb over his lip, "That hurt. Did you have to bite so hard?"

Kanda raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not going to say that I'm sorry." Allen rolled his eyes. She leaned towards him, licking his lip gently, making him wince as it began to sting. "Oh, stop being a wimp," she muttered, licking away the blood left on both his and her mouth.

"Hey! Are you two even listening to me?" Lavi shouted indignantly, coming towards them, "Would you stop making out while people are around? It's disturbing."

"You're disturbing," Kanda shot back, "And since you interrupted, no, we won't stop. That's what you get." She reached for Allen's face with less seriousness than Lavi eating a banana. A hand came down between their faces, and she glared at the wielder.

"No making out in front of me. That's just not cool. Anyway, when were you going to tell me you were pregnant?" Lavi asked indignantly, staring down at Kanda with her hand on her hips like a disapproving mother.

Kanda sneered at her. "I don't have to tell you anything I don't want to. It wasn't your business to begin with."

"But Lenalee knew! And I'm your friend!"

Lenalee spun towards them, raising an eyebrow at Lavi. "Don't bring me into this."

"She knew because she took me in for the tests," Kanda explained with a roll of her eyes. Standing, she nearly dropped back to the bench as a wave of nausea hit her head on. Turning from the trio, she hurried to the bushes and proceeded to empty her stomach. Allen was beside her in a second, holding her hair back out of the line of vile. "Fuck morning sickness and its stupid face."

Both Allen and Lavi frowned at her as Lenalee chuckled to herself, turning back to the flowers to pluck an unwanted weed from the ground. "What do you mean morning sickeness? It's like three in the afternoon. Isn't morning sickness supposed to be in the… well, morning?" Lavi asked hesitantly.

Kanda groaned, holding back her vomit long enough to spit out an explanation. "They call it morning sickness, but it doesn't have to be in the morning, as demonstrated. It can be at any time of the day." With the conclusion of her explanation, she proceeded with what she'd been doing moments before.

Lavi wrinkled her nose, hurrying away to Lenalee's side. "I am so sorry if I ever get you pregnant. I give you full permission to kill me."

Lenalee ruffled her lover's hair affectionately. "Oh, don't worry. Even if you hadn't given me permission I would have still murdered you in the most brutal of ways, then cut off your genitalia before hanging you from the roof for the entire world to see." The smile she held never left her lips, and her voice stayed so sweet and innocent that it was a wonder she didn't smell like cotton candy.

From her bent over position, Kanda barked out a harsh laugh.

"That's not funny, Yu!" Lavi shouted at her, her expression stricken with terror. She gave her girlfriend a wide birth, hugging the largest tree she could find.

"It is to me!" Kanda shouted back, spitting into the dirt before getting to her feet. She brushed the dirt from her knees calmly, breathing deeply. "I feel much better. I'm going to go brush my teeth and get something to eat." She wondered off slowly, Allen and Lavi watching her with wide eyes.

"Pregnant women are scary," the pair moaned together.

"Oh, I'll come with you. I want to talk to Jerry about what you can and can't eat for the most part for the next seven and a half months," Lenalee offered, ignoring the pair and trotting to catch up with Kanda's long strides. Even as a woman, she waited for nobody and walked like she was late for her own wedding.

"I can and will eat whatever the fuck I please," Kanda shot at her without even turning to look at her.

"Not if I or General Cross has anything to say about it." Lenalee grinned wider, loving the feeling of messing with Kanda. She was getting a slight power trip out of being able to govern certain aspects of her life.

**Yay! OOC! ...ugh, fml -_- They are so OOC it's not even funny.**

**Well, there you go. Hope you enjoyed it. I actually loved writing this chappie a lot. I wrote part of this while at work so I'm surprised it turned out the way it did. Anyways, how was it? Good? Bad? Funny? Boring? Go suck on an egg?**


	19. Chapter 19: Fears and Apprehension

'_italics'_** either means a dream or thought, just to get that straight now. Just know now that the middle memory at the very beginning isn't the one from the manga, though it's only different by the words more or less *shrug* I don't know why I felt the need to change the words so you'll just have to take it as is.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Especially the first part! The memories belong exclusively to Hoshino!**

Chapter 19: Fears and Apprehensions

_"I heard your name is Yu," Alma called happily into the water he looked up through. He pushed his hand up through the water, pouting at the child above him. "Huh? Me?" Alma asked, grinning sheepishly and pointing to himself, "I'm a bit shy. I'm… uh… Alma."_

_The scene changed, speeding through memories of pain and laughter and fighting, coming to rest when Kanda was standing beside Alma, looking out over the Womb Chamber, their birth place. "It's freezing! Why is it always so damn cold down here?!" Kanda griped for the hundredth time, huddling into his oversized coat as his comrade was. Every day when they came to greet the ones that hadn't woken yet, he complained, and Alma always gave him the same answer, or a variation of the same answer._

_"That Winter guy must still be outside making it cold. We should go beat him up after I greet everyone," Alma grumbled moodily before bounding off to talk to their slumbering brethren, grinning like that the fool he was._

_The scene changed again. Kanda watched as images and emotions flew by at the speed of light, flashing just long enough to remind him of what that day had brought. Suddenly, Kanda leaned heavily into Alma. Alma had shoved the claw like appendage through Kanda's back and into himself. Kanda fell back, his blood splattering the ground beneath his body. His friend's voice was merely a mumble in his ears, far away and only just distinct under that woman's voice. That retched flower fell towards him._

_Gritting his teeth, he slashed his sword made from his innocence through Alma. "Sorry… I want to live even if that means destroying you!" Alma's scream rang in his ears as he drew his blade down his friend's body. Warm blood splattered against his face, mixing with the tears streaming down his cheeks._

...

Kanda started with a gasp, her eyes flying open to stare into the darkness encompassing her. It was stiflingly hot. She kicked off the covers, reveling in the cool night air pressing against her bare skin. She rubbed a hand over her face, scrubbing away the tears that had followed her into reality.

_'Why am I dreaming of him again? Alma is gone now forever. Beansprout helped make sure of that_,' she thought to herself, a little irritated that her mind would bring back those memories of all things. It was bad enough she was already hesitant about becoming a parent, but for her mind to shove the fact that she'd failed her childhood friend back in her face was not going to help anything.

A body shifted beneath her hand and head, reminding her that she was not the only one in the room. She froze in place, waiting until the teen she'd been sleeping on settled back down with a sigh. His arm snaked around her back, his hand resting against her hip, cupping it perfectly. He pulled her tighter against his body, burying his nose in her hair. His warm breath fanned over the crown of her head.

Rustling sounded behind her. She craned her neck, glancing over her shoulder. Her eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness that she could see Timcanpy's golden hair and skin. He was curled in a tight ball, cuddled down in a pile of blankets they'd thrown on the floor as his makeshift bed. He didn't seem to mind. His wings and tail peaked out from under the blanket, twitching with his dream.

Turning back, Kanda rested her head back on Allen's chest, listening to the deep thump of his heart beneath her ear. Usually, he'd be the one sleeping on her chest, but it didn't seem to work as well now that he was rather larger than her. She let her fingers trail over the scar that traced down his chest, making him shiver beneath her touch.

_'Are we really going to be able to do this?_' Sighing deeply in frustration, she settled even closer into his side if that was possible.

She startled as Allen jerked awake, sitting straight up in bed, Kanda still attached to his chest. He clutched at her hand over the scar, leaning forward with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. His breath wheezed between his clenched teeth, sweat and tears slipping together down his face. He squeezed her fingers mercilessly like they were the only thing keeping him grounded.

"Beansprout, snap out of it. What's the matter?" Kanda snapped, taking the teen's face in her hand. She straddled his legs, using the new position as a way to look up at his face.

Slowly, Allen opened his eyes, the silver nearly glowing in the dark. "Kanda?" he whispered, his hands moving to her face and into her hair. He pulled her into his chest, holding her close, shaking like a scared child.

Kanda stared over his shoulder with wide eyes, her arms strung around his neck. She had no idea what she was supposed to do in this type of situation, so she just whispered, "Moyashi, what's gotten into you?"

"Master?" Timcanpy whispered, dropping his head on the edge of the mattress, looking worriedly up at the two.

When Allen didn't answer either of them, Kanda tentatively whispered again, "Allen?"

Allen's arms tightened around her. "I thought it was real," he replied hoarsely, "It felt so real."

"What?"

He allowed his grasp around her to loosen, but not for his arms to fall away from her body. She was his anchor. He needed to remember what was real, something to tell him this was reality. "I was dreaming about Alma and you, when you first woke up, the memories I'd seen when the Noah had us inside your head."

Kanda stiffened in his arms, turning her eyes so she could see at least part of his face. She played with the hair at the nape of his neck, pushing her fingers into the fluff of his hair every few seconds, resting her cheek on his shoulder. '_He was dreaming with me,_' she thought, a warm, fluffy, unfamiliar sensation filling her tummy.

"Then, after you killed him, the dream changed. I was watching you. You were back to your male body, standing over a black coffin draped with a white cloth that had the Rose Cross emblazoned on the front. You had two really little toddlers at your sides, and your shoulders were shaking. You were yelling at the coffin, 'Why did you die? Why did you have to die?' Then we had to watch as the Order and Rouvelier took the twins from our arms. We couldn't fight back. Then we were all fighting. You, me, and two teenagers. Everyone else had fallen around us. We couldn't do a thing as those teens were cuts down, and then you…" His voice trailed into nothing as his throat closed off, not allowing him permission to push out the rest of his words.

Kanda allowed her arms to tighten around his neck. To her, it sounded as if his fears and apprehensions were seeping into his dreams, poisoning the fruitful landscape of his imagination, turning it against him. Failure, death, loss, and being powerless. He had dreamt them all, enough for both of them. "It was only a dream. That's not reality, and it never will be our reality. Do you understand me? I'll never let that happen. **Never.** Even if it kills me," she said, pulling back so she could glare at him, "So stop crying and go get me something to eat."

Allen had been opening his mouth to reply, but it snapped shut. He stared back at his lover, a grin beginning to stretch across his mouth that didn't belong with his watery eyes or the dampness of his cheeks. "You're hungry?" he asked, the traces of a laugh mixing with his words.

"Yes, I am," Kanda told him matter-of-factly, "And since they're your kids, it's your job to feed me so they can grow."

He laughed, wiping away any remaining tears. "Are you going to become a black hole too, Bakanda?"

"Tch, don't be ridiculous," she scoffed, rolling off of his lap and off the side of the bed with a yelp of surprise. She'd meant to roll off the edge and come up on her feet, but her leg had been asleep making catching herself an impossibility.

Allen burst into laughter, glancing over the edge of the bed where he found Kanda lying on top of Timcanpy, groaning. "What would you like me to get you, oh, Mr. Graceful?"

"Go shove it, asshole," she grunted, tumbling backwards onto the floor with yet another yelp as Timcanpy popped up from under her.

"I don't think Tim likes that idea too much," Allen replied, only laughing harder at his companion's bad luck.

"What idea?" Tim wondered, looking between the pair with such confusion it was a wonder that he caught the amount he did on video as a golem.

Allen sighed, reaching down to grab Kanda's hand, and dragged her to her feet. "Nothing, Tim. Why don't you go fly off and bug Lenalee for a bit? I'm sure she'd love to share her bed with you seeing as Lavi's on a mission. She's probably really lonely."

Tim brightened, fluttering to his feet. "Okay!" he called, slamming into the door before remembering he actually had to open it like a normal person, and zoomed out down the hall.

"We should probably go raid the kitchen before anybody starts to wake up, or Lenalee comes to kill us," Allen said, standing and pulling on a pair of rumpled and creased slacks. He tossed Kanda his shirt figuring she'd rather wear that than one of the dresses. "Do you want some underwear before we go?" He glanced around the floor wondering where exactly he had thrown her panties earlier that night.

"No, I'm just going to go commando and hope no one is up to see my junk," Kanda shot back sarcastically, kneeling on the bed and searching behind it. She let out a cry of triumph as she pulled out the lacy, dark blue panties she'd been wearing that day. She slipped them on, fastening Mugen around her waist. "Why would anyone even be up at this time?"

Allen raised an eyebrow at her, following her out into the freezing air of the corridor. "Says the guy who goes out before the crack of dawn to tend to a secret garden and to train."

"At least I'm doing something, and let me remind you that you wake up as early as I do to train," she shot back at him.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, "You always do." He grinned as she shot him an annoyed glare. "We have that three month check-up to go to later today, right?"

"That **I** have to go to. You don't need to be there. You're just a nuisance and always get in the way," Kanda retorted, keeping her chin up at a haughty level. She walked with her hand over the slight bump as if she were afraid someone would jump from the shadows and try to stab her in the abdomen.

Allen hadn't seen many pregnant women over his seventeen years of life, but every time he had, they always had their hand over their belly. He didn't really understand the reasoning behind the whole thing so he just chalked it up to instinct. He'd have to remind himself to ask Komui or Cross, preferably the former, about it later.

Dropping an arm around her shoulders, Allen dragged Kanda into his side. "We've already talked about this. You agreed that I could be there every step of the way, for every check-up, for every ultra-sound, for the birth. Don't back out on me now."

"I'm not backing out!" she snapped, twisting out from underneath his arm, "You don't need to be there if you don't want to!"

"Oh, but I do want to, so I will be there. Again, I'm pretty sure we've already had this conversation before," Allen pointed out, grinning over at her.

"Fucking baka moyashi," she muttered under her breath, glaring off into the gloom of the corridors.

"What was that? I didn't catch that," Allen asked, leaning towards Kanda, his hand cupped around his ear.

Kanda rolled her eyes. "I said go fuck yourself!" she shouted with a laugh, before taking off at a full sprint.

"Hey! Kanda, wait!" he shouted back, taking off after her.

**Yep, that was the chapter. I hope it was worth reading. I don't even remember what the point to it was. Haha, oh well. Oh wow, I'm going to have to put one of my ideas into motion in the next "month" or so on the timeline. Wow, that is going to be interesting. Let's have some more fun with torturing Kanda during her pregnancy, shall we?**


	20. Chapter 20: First Ultrasound

**Haha, sorry the update was a little late. I'm hoping it'll be quicker next time. You guys are really lucky that I edited this chapter. Since I was procrastinating throughout the entire chapter I thought I'd be kind.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man**

Chapter 20: First Ultrasound

"Hey Emilia, who is that pretty lady with Allen? She has the sword of that guy who tried to kill me," Timothy asked his tutor, watching the pair banter angrily with one another as they headed for Cross' lab, "And who is that guy behind them? And why does Allen have long hair?!" Timcanpy hopped along beside the pair, his tail flicking, whapping Kanda in the back, and his wings fluttered, keeping his feet just off the floor.

Emilia looked over the pair. She'd heard about Kanda's, Lavi's and Timcanpy's mishap in the storage room. She was surprised that he hadn't caught wind of it yet. She was equally surprised that he didn't know about Allen and Kanda's relationship. It was so painfully obvious to her, but he was only a child after all. "That's Kanda, Timothy," she explained.

"No it's not! She's a girl and Kanda is a guy!" Timothy protested, his eyes trained on the black-haired swordsman.

"He got turned into a girl on accident because of something that happened with the Science Department. Now pay attention to your work!" she commanded, biffing the younger boy upside the head.

Timothy let off his trademark cry, holding the back of his head. "Why? This is boring! I want to go on a mission!"

"Absolutely not. You're on probation for that little stunt you pulled last time, remember? Now, shut up and do your work. I'm giving you a test tomorrow."

The boy groaned loudly, dropping his head onto the table. The crack echoed around the library making Emilia sigh. "_Master, I think there's something even odder about that woman, you called her Kanda?_" Tsukikami said, his sleeve held over his mouth in contemplation.

Timothy didn't reply, but he twitched his head, telling his innocence that he was listening.

"_Her innocence seems to be reacting to her body without being invoked, and I believe there is more innocence in her body_," Tsukikami explained, his eyes narrowing as the trio disappeared past the other side of the doorway.

Timothy's head snapped up, staring at the older looking version of himself. "Why would it be there?" he shouted.

Emilia rolled her eyes. '_I guess he's talking to his innocence again_.' To her, he just looked like he was talking to thin air.

Tsukikami shrugged his shoulders, unhelpful. Timothy jumped to his feet, but before he could skate off, Emilia wrapped an arm around his chest. "Nah uh, you're not going anywhere," she growled, quickly wrapping thick rope around the kid and tying him to his chair, "Now, where were we?"

…..

"So, I see you two have been going at it like bunnies," Cross muttered in annoyance, pulling back from where Kanda was leaning back in a chair, her ankles held in stir-ups. He dropped the blankets held up by her knees, turning away on his swivel chair towards the window. He lit up, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

"How the fuck can you tell that? And why the fuck did you leave my legs up, you fucker?!" Kanda shouted, pushing herself up on her elbows to glare up at the red-headed devil blowing smoke out the open window.

"Can you not smoke in the same room as Kanda, Master?" Allen asked, standing beside his girlfriend, fidgeting uncomfortably. He really didn't feel comfortable having his womanizer of a master sticking his face close to his lover's nether regions. Kanda would kick him in the face if the man tried anything though.

Cross rolled his eyes at Allen. "I'm by the window aren't I? That's as good as you're going to get," he replied sarcastically, turning his head back to face the window.

"You know what? Fuck his smoking, I don't give a shit if he smokes around me. I want to fucking know how he knew we had sex!" Kanda shouted irately, working on undoing the straps keeping her feet up. "Get me off this fucking thing!"

"Stay where you are, I'm not done with you yet," Cross warned, shoving his cigarette towards the pair threateningly.

Kanda shot him a scathing glare. "Fuck you, I want my legs closed. The only time I want them open is when I'm wrapping them around this baka beansprout," she snarled, jerking a thumb towards her lover as she pulled her legs down. She left them dangling over the side of the cot, staying in place.

Allen choked on the air he'd sucked in, clamping a hand down over her mouth. "Jesus, Kanda! Don't go saying stuff like that!"

Kanda bit down on his hand, and he released her face. "Why? He already knows that I'm fucking you. I think it's a little more than obvious since I'm **pregnant**, fuck nut."

"Your little girlfriend is right," Cross agreed, stubbing out his cigarette and rolling over towards a metal table.

Allen's ears were red hot. He dropped his face in his hands, shaking his head vigorously. "God, you two are so vulgar. You should be best friends."

"No, fuck you," they replied together.

"Like two peas in a pod," Allen muttered under his breath.

Ignoring his apprentice, Cross said, "I'm going to start the ultrasound in just a moment. Princess, lift up your dress."

"Like hell I will!" Kanda shouted at him.

Cross glared at her, done with playing games. "Boy, lay back down, pull up your dress, and bare your stomach, or I'll do it for you. And when I do it, I won't give you the chance to keep your dignity. Now, do as I say."

Kanda ground her teeth in annoyance, muttering, "Bite me," but she took the blanket, situating it over her bottom half, before pulling her dress up to just under her boobs. She lay back on the cot, waiting for whatever Cross had in store for her. She didn't know what the hell an ultrasound was, and she wasn't sure how she was going to feel about it.

"I hope this is still cold," Cross muttered, squeezing a gel like substance into his hand. With more gentleness than Allen would have ever to believe him to possess, he spread the goo across Kanda's abdomen. Kanda's toes flexed and her eyebrows scrunched together.

"Why would you want it to be cold? Does it need to be cold?" Allen asked, frowning.

"No. I want it cold because you two are already pissing me off," Cross growled, pulling a machine with a monitor over to them. He took a small, handheld device and pressed it to the gel.

The first thing Allen noticed was the two fluttering heartbeats sound together under a much deeper, slower heartbeat. The second thing he noticed was the grainy, black and white image taking over the screen. Two small bodies faced each other, their arms held close to their bodies, and their legs pulled up. Something glinted on the back of one and the hand of the other. A giddy smile slowly spread across his face as he asked, "Those are the twins?"

"Yes, idiot apprentice. He's the first one," Cross said, tracing a finger along the spine of one of the bodies, "And here's the second one. They look perfectly healthy."

Shaking herself from her daze, Kanda pointed to the glinting on the screen. "What is that?"

"The innocence. It's already found its placement on their bodies it seems," Cross said, "The innocence will probably keep them exceptionally healthy throughout the entire pregnancy, lucky for us."

"Why is that lucky? The fucking innocence has claimed my children as its own already! What part of that is lucky?!" Kanda shouted, pushing Cross' hand away, and sitting up.

He rolled away again, lighting another cigarette as he moved. "Granted, it sucks they'll be born as parasite types, but you'll still be going on missions and such while still pregnant. The innocence will, hopefully, keep its accommodators healthy when your conditions are not conducive for pregnant women."

"Whatever. Get this shit off my stomach so I can go get something to eat," Kanda snarled, lying back down.

Cross put out his cigarette, wheeling over towards the pair. "I need to take a few pictures first," he said, pressing the little device back to Kanda's stomach, "Hold your ovaries, and I'll get you copies of the pictures." He tossed a towel soaked in hot water at her before disappearing out a side door.

Sighing, Allen helped Kanda clean the goo from her stomach. He handed the underwear he'd had stuck in his pocket for when they finished over to her, folding the blanket while she finished dressing. An envelope smacked him in the face only moments after Cross had left the room. "Ugh," he groaned, holding his nose.

"Oh, stop being a pussy," Cross growled, wheeling the machine away, "Those are your prints. These are your pills." He tossed Kanda a bag that housed small orange tubes full of vitamins. "Take those once every day. You might not especially need them, but they'll keep your essential minerals and vitamins in check. Now get out before I physically throw you out."

Kanda, feeling the need to be childish, stuck her tongue out at him as they exited the room. He flew her the bird. "Fucking asshole," she muttered irately under her breath.

"Says the man who is an asshole himself," Allen chuckled, peeling the envelope open and pulling out the pictures. The flipped through the few his master had given them, grinning like a fool. Kanda punched him in the leg, making him crumple to the floor. "Ah, why would you do that?" he groaned.

"Stop making stupid faces and I wouldn't have to wipe them off your face for you," Kanda said as way of reply, blinking slowly at him.

Allen glared up at her. "I'm allowed to faun over our children. That's not a crime!"

"It is when you look so stupid doing it. They're not even born yet! Put the fatherly instincts away, no one wants to see them."

Allen made a stupid face at Kanda, jumping out of her punching path. "I'm sure Lenalee likes to see my fatherly instincts. You should show your motherly side more often," he quipped back, picking himself up off the floor.

"Good thing I'm not a mother then because that's not fucking happening," she shot back, her hand resting on the top of Mugen's hilt threateningly.

Allen rolled his eyes. "By default, you are because you're pregnant. Mothers give birth to children, and you'll be giving birth to our children, so actually, you are a mother." Grinning, he grabbed her hands as she made to hit him again, pulling her into a kiss. Footsteps sounded down the hall, breaking them apart quicker than a rampaging bull.

"Walker, there you are!" Link said, turning the corner and glaring at the white-haired teen.

Allen faced the livid blonde head on, grinning widely. "Hi, Link. Where have you been?"

"All over the place looking for you. I don't know how you've managed to avoid me for an entire moth, but congratulations," Link growled, stepping up to get in Allen's face. Though Allen was smiling, the glare in his eyes was all too obvious. "You're lucky I wasn't actually coming here to look for you, or I'd be making you fill out paperwork."

"Wait, what? You're not here looking for me? Then who are you looking for?" Allen asked, startled and confused.

"Kanda Yu. I have needed to discuss something with him for a long while now, but I have not seen him. He was supposed to have returned with your group, and everyone I talk to says he has been back the entire time," Link explained, stepping out of Allen's personal space. His eyes flickered to Kanda standing at Allen's side, perfectly content with their proximity. They seemed to share a sphere personal space instead of having individual bubbles.

"Uh, well, he just came from talking with Master Cross so, you could go ask him. I have to go now," Allen said too quickly, clamping his hands down on Kanda's shoulders and rushing her away.

Link's eyes followed after them, narrowing as they disappeared around the corner.

**There you go everyone! I might take a week or so off to try and do my summer assignment. If I post next week, then you know I'm not doing my assignment, haha. See you next time!**


	21. Chapter 21: Advice

**Disclaimer: I do not own -Man or Hetalia**

Chapter 21: Advice

"Kanda! Allen!" Antonio screeched, running down the hallway at break neck speed, a grin stretching across his lips. For their safety, they took a simple step back. He barreled past the pair, his feet slipping out from under him. He slid to a stop on his back, flailing like a turtle. "Show me the pictures! Show me the pictures!"

Allen hid the manila envelope they'd just gone back to his master's lab to get behind his back, slipping it into his back pocket. "What pictures?" he wondered too innocently, not looking anywhere near the excited man.

"The ones you're hiding behind your back of the new babies! Show them too me!" Antonio sang, rolling onto his stomach and quickly getting to his feet. He scrambled towards them, grabbing Allen's hands. "Show me! Show me! Show me!" he shouted obnoxiously, jumping up and down while still clutching onto Allen's hands, pulling him into the jump.

Lovino jogged up, gasping for breath. "Oh, oh god. I think I need an inhaler. Y-you gave me asthma, you tomato bastard," he wheezed, bent over at the waist, trying to catch his breath.

"You can't get asthma from running, idiot. You just have it," Kanda shot at the Italian, rolling her eyes. She didn't need to be dealing with these two nuisances after having just dealt with Cross.

"Doesn't matter. Feels like I have it," Lovino said, his voice whispery.

"You're a fucking idiot," Kanda spat, slipping the manila envelope from Allen's back pocket before it could hit the floor. She slid the photos into her pocket, making her way down the hall. She was hungry **again** for the fifth time since she'd woken up. It was only noon.

"You know what? I'm going to give you fucking asthma if you don't stop it!" Lovino shouted, his breath finally back where it was supposed to be. He shot a glare up at the pregnant woman, straightening and hurrying behind her. "Can you just show him the pictures so he'll shut up?" he asked, catching up to Kanda as her clip increased in speed.

"What do I get out of showing him the pictures besides him feeling up my stomach and going all mushy gushy with Moyashi?" she asked, not even taking the time to glance as him. She turned into the cafeteria, skirting around the edge to avoid both Tiedoll, and Lavi and Lenalee. Jerry greeted with her a wide smile and cooing before he ran off to get her food. With her food on the way, she turned back to Lovino, waiting for his answer.

Lovi rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair. "Nothing except for him shutting up about the pictures. He'll be quieter after that." He shrugged. "That's all I have for you."

Kanda pursed her lips, taking the several trays laden with food offered to her from one of Jerry's assistants. "I'll consider it," she said, frowning as the assistant smiled at her. She took her food to the most secluded table she could find. She set her food down and began to scarf it like her boyfriend inhaled food.

Lovi stared on in surprise, his eyes wide as he watched her eat. "You're not as bad as Allen, but you're getting there," he told her, leaning back as she struck out a hand to backhand him.

"Don't even say that," she threatened through a mouthful of food, glaring him down, "I will never be as bad as that garbage can that I call the father of these children." After shoving a finger in the direction of her stomach, she returned to her food.

Lovino was quiet for a long moment before speaking up again. "Can I see the pictures of the babies?" he asked casually, inspecting his nails so that he wouldn't have to make eye contact with the irate female.

Once more, Kanda rolled her eyes. "Fine," she grumbled, pulling the envelope from her pocket and sliding it across the table to him. She watched from under her eyelashes as Lovi eagerly pulled open the clasp. He didn't coo over the pictures like Allen had done less than thirty minutes ago, but instead just stared at them longingly. "Do you want kids?" Kanda suddenly asked, lifting her head to look at him fully.

Lovino began sputtering and making incoherent noises until he finally blew a raspberry with his lips. "O-of c-course not," he stuttered, waving off her words, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Toni is the one who wants kids. I don't. Not at all."

Smirking, Kanda twirled her fork through the air. "Tell that to the blush on your face and the stupid grin you had when looking at my pictures. You want kids as much as Allen and Antonio do."

Lovino shot her a half-hearted glare, sighing loudly. "I can't argue with a pregnant woman. You people are always right," he admitted grudgingly, dropping his chin into his hand and staring down at the pictures he'd scattered across the table. "But I do. I really do even though I can't have any."

Kanda snorted, pulling over the picture that showed the twins sleeping soundly beside each other. "I'm going to ignore the fact that you just called me a woman. You could always get the Science Department to change you into a chick or find some other way to do it. You could use a surrogate, like Lenalee or Miranda," she explained. Days before, she wouldn't have had any suggestions for him, but after Cross had ranted at her for hours and hours, she knew a lot now.

"What countries are they from?" Lovi asked, actually registering and considering the options.

"Miranda is originally from Germany and Lenalee is from China."

Lovino crinkled his nose in disgust. "Ew, Germany."

"What do you have against Germans?"

"I don't have anything against that people… for the most part. Just the country."

"That doesn't make sense," Kanda said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"It does. If you knew who I knew, it would make a lot of sense," he replied vaguely.

Before Kanda could even think of a reply, a squealing mass of flesh with Antonio's voice slid past her face, completely missing the food, but not the pictures. When the mass slid off the edge of the table, the pictures were gone. Kanda and Lovino stared at each other with wide, surprised eyes, their mouths moving, but no words were spoken.

Allen appeared at Kanda's side only moments later, his chest heaving. "Did you see Antonio come this way? He just took off at a sprint once he realized you two had taken off without us," he explained, dropping off his hands on his knees. "Good god, he runs so fast when he wants too."

"See? I told you, you can get asthma from running! Your boyfriend has it now!" Lovino called, shaking out of his daze and grinning triumphantly at the dark-haired female.

"No, you can't, you fucking tomato! God, you need to have a long fucking talk with Cross," Kanda snarled and then reconsidered her words, "Ah, no, I wouldn't wish that upon anyone."

Lovino was getting ready to shoot a reply back at her when the soft maniacal laughter finally reached their ears. "Do you hear that?" he whispered.

"Yeah," Allen replied quietly. He crept around the end of the table to find Antonio crouching in a heap, holding the pictures close to his face. He was grinning happily, flipping through the pictures with a ferocity that scared even Allen's dark side. "Um, Antonio, can we have those pictures back?" Allen asked politely.

"Hey, fucker! Give me my fucking pictures back!" Kanda shouted, struggling to get to the end of the table where the other two already were, "Dick!"

"Kanda, can you stop being vulgar?" Allen asked, looking over his shoulder at her.

She glared poisoned, flaming daggers at him. "Sure, when you grow a penis and stop being a little bitch."

Allen sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. "I really need to go on a mission and get away from here," he muttered to himself.

"Um, no. You don't," Kanda decided matter-of-factly. They'd have to pry him from her cold dead hands before they sent him on another mission. Allen smirked her way.

"Oh, sure, you can have them back. I'm done looking at them," Antonio finally replied with a grin, slipping them back into a nice pile and holding them out to Allen, "They are all so cute. I want a baby someday."

Lovino looked away guiltily, moving down the bench back to where Kanda had given up on the struggle. He dropped his chin back in his hand, staring down the table where Lavi and Lenalee were just appearing so Antonio couldn't see the look on his face.

Kanda saw it though, loud and clear, and suddenly her motherly instincts punched her in the face. '_Ah, fuck my hormones_,' she growled in her head, getting up from her seat and walking around the table. She sat beside him awkwardly, fidgeting with the braid Allen had put her hair in earlier that day. Sighing, she finally muttered, "I think you should probably, possibly, maybe tell him what your options are."

Lovino sat there for a moment, getting ready to reply and then he realized what had just happened. He stared at her, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "Where the hell did that come from? Where did 'I'm going to cut you into a million pieces and feed them to the fish in the sea' go?"

"Shut up!" Kanda shot at him, glaring angrily, "Do you want my female help or not? I may not originally be female, but while I am I guess I should act like one occasionally."

Lovi grinned, glancing behind her to where Lavi and Lenalee were quickly approaching. "Alright, hit me with your flaming female wisdom."

Kanda let her hands clench in her lap so she wouldn't reach up and strangle him into oblivion. "Tell. Him. You. Want. Kids. You. Baka. Tomato," she said, making each word a sentence so that it got through his apparently thick skull, "That's my advice. Take it or leave it, but it's probably the best way to go."

"Probably?" Lovino asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Yes, probably," she replied, standing and retreating to the other side of the table and back to her food just as Lavi plopped down beside Lovino. She swatted Lavi's hand away as she reached for something on her plate. "Don't touch my food, usagi!" she barked, snapping at her hand as she reached for it again.

"Aw, come on Yu. Don't be like that. We all know you aren't going to eat all of that on your own. Why not give some to your old pal Lavi?" Lavi said, grinning widely at her.

All the occupants of the table, including her own girlfriend, arched an eyebrow at him. "I don't know what fic you've been reading, but I've been eating like a pig for two months now," Kanda told her while she was shoving a forkful of cheesecake in her mouth. It wasn't even her cheesecake. It was Allen's cheesecake that he had brought to the table just a moment before.

Allen frowned, glancing around his area. He hadn't been expecting his dessert to disappear while he wasn't looking. "You took my cheesecake," he shot at her indignantly, staring at the offending fork that was cutting off another corner.

Kanda raised her eyebrow at him. "And? Grab another fork and start fucking eating," she told him, sticking the piece in her mouth and chewing slowly.

"Fine," Allen grumbled grudgingly, picking up the fork he'd originally been planning to use and sticking it in the dessert.

"Aaaaawwww," everyone around them cooed, grinning at them, "You two are soooo cute together."

Kanda immediately repositioned the fork in her hand so she could stab someone. "I will stab him in the leg if you all don't stop."

"Hey!" Allen shouted, "What did I do?"

"Everything."

**And that's the end of that chapter. I know I should have uploaded it like two days ago, and I'm sorry, but at least it's up before next week. Oh god, it's August now. There's two and a half weeks left until school starts again *gross sobbing* I'll see you guys next week.**


	22. Chapter 22: Sudden Move

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man**

Chapter 22: Sudden Move

"_Excuse me, Finder_."

Kanda was yanked from her dreams, pulled back into reality by the voice of the one man she didn't want anywhere near her for the next five months. He must have been outside the room that had become both Allen's and hers since Komui had decided she didn't need her room anymore and handed it over to Link. If she hadn't been using the beansprout's room for the past four months, she would have been a little more pissed.

Groaning, she stretched her hands above her head and stretched her legs, pointing and flexing her toes. "What time is it?" she grumbled, rolling onto her side, looking up at the just barely lightening sky. The beansprout would have just been finishing his work out. Sighing, she rolled from the bed and started to get dressed to wait for Lenalee so they could begin their morning yoga.

"_Yes, Inspector Link?_" the Finder asked cautiously, his voice hesitant. She'd managed to threaten most of the Finders into staying quiet, but maybe she'd missed a few. Or pissed more than a few off.

"_Have you seen Kanda Yu anywhere lately? I have heard that he returned four months ago, and has not left for another mission, but I have not seen him anywhere. Do you know where I could find him?_" Link's voice grated against Kanda's ears, sending a pounding headache into effect right off the bat.

The Finder paused for a long moment. "_Inspector Link, have you not heard? You've been in several rooms with him since returning. He's always at Master Walker's side…_"

Link sighed. "_There has been a girl at his side every time I've seen him. Who is she?_"

"_That is Master Kanda, sir. Have you really not heard about him getting turned into a woman?_"

Silence enveloped the pair outside her door, and Kanda ground her teeth in agitation. It seemed as if she really had missed some of the Finders. She wanted to scream her frustration at the ceiling, but she didn't want Link to know she was so close by, so instead she growled quietly while ringing a T-shirt to shreds.

"_Where can I find Kanda Yu?_" Link asked, his voice steady, but with a hint of annoyance.

"_In Master Walker's room I would think-_"

"_Thank you, Finder_," Link dismissed the man curtly, his footsteps approaching the door quickly. The Finder tried to stop Link several times, but he was absolutely ignored.

"Son of a bitch!" Kanda snarled, pulling her shirt on over her bra quickly and stringing her arms through an oversized cardigan in an attempt to hide her now more obvious bump that stuck out a few inches from the rest of her body.

"Kanda Yu!" Link shouted, slamming open the door without knocking, glaring at the girl who was now eyelevel with him. Behind him, the Finder's eyes went wide and he scurried off, scared for his life.

"What do you want, Crow?" Kanda asked calmly, glaring back with as much annoyance and anger, "Haven't you ever heard of knocking, or were you raised in a coop?"

"This is no time for jokes, Kanda. You have been avoiding me, and there is much we must discuss."

"Correction: Moyashi has been avoiding you. You were just too stupid to figure out that I was the person with him," Kanda pointed out, slipping Mugen over her shoulder and moving past him into the hallway. Maybe they'd run into Allen or Cross –who still wasn't supposed to be alive– or Lenalee, and they'd save her from this blonde-headed nimrod.

Link growled under his breath, following after her. "It is very important that we speak. My source says that Rouvelier is planning to come out here unannounced to catch you and Walker unawares. He is still not happy with the disappearing and reappearing act the two of you pulled."

"What about you? Does he know you're not dead yet?" Kanda shot at him, keeping her eyes forward.

"No, he does not, and I wish that he stay ignorant."

"I don't see how traipsing around Headquarters is helping keep the fact that you're alive secret. And I don't believe pretending to do that under the pretense that you are under that asshole's orders is helping either."

"It is not. Word of my living has already reached the Asia branch," Link admitted, frowning at his feet.

"Slow. Gossip doesn't travel like it used to, it seems. Why don't you go talk to Komui if you're so concerned?" Kanda asked just wanting this conversation to be over. If she could push him off on Komui maybe she wouldn't be irrevocably pissed before Allen showed up for breakfast.

"Because you are the one who is able to protect Walker the best, even in your…" His eyes scanned her body, lingering on her abdomen. It seemed she hadn't done a good enough job in covering her stomach. "…pregnant –I mean present– state. If I may be so inclined to ask, is the baby Walker's? Do you two have… **that** kind of relationship?"

Kanda rolled her eyes. "Yes and yes. Go talk to Komui. I can't do anything, now that we're back, until a threat actually appears."

Link was silent for a moment, looking down at her stomach. Confusion and shock flickered behind his neutral expression. "Fine, I will go speak to Chief Komui, but be prepared to go on a mission or move locations when I return."

"Whatever," Kanda said as he turned and marched off towards Komui's office, "I hope a mountain of papers falls and smothers you before anyone can dig through it!" Link didn't respond.

…..

"Kanda, where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere. Are we still going to do yoga?" Lenalee asked, standing in front of Kanda's bedroom door, watching the smaller female approach with a sour expression, "What happened? Is that blood on your shirt?"

"Link happened. The blood is from a Finder that I beat to a pulp," Kanda explained in a clipped tone, pushing into her room and unrolling the soft mats they used. She sat down on the one closest to the window, facing the door.

"What? Why did you beat up a Finder? What did he do?" Lenalee asked, sitting down in front of the other female on the second mat, mimicking her position.

Kanda snarled, still irritated from the whole situation. "The Finder told Link who I was because he hadn't heard about what happened, and then **where** I was. So I had a fun little chat with Link and now I want to rip someone's throat out." She smiled threateningly, grinding her teeth.

"Let's not have a murder on our hands today, alright?" Lenalee sighed, changing the pose so that her shoulders were pressed into the mat and she was grabbing her ankles.

Kanda followed suite, throwing her ponytail out of the way. "I need to go on a mission. I don't care what kind of mission, as long as it's a mission."

"I think all four of us do. Lavi's been getting antsy lately. According to Allen, he's been getting more aggressive when they train together. I've heard the same from Miranda, Krory, and Marie." Lenalee sighed, resting her chin on her chest, "I think it may be just because he's on his period this week, but I could be mistaken."

"That is one thing I thank this pregnancy for. I had one of those, and I'm perfectly fine not ever having another," Kanda said, flipping so that she was supporting her weight on her arms, and extended her left leg along with her right arm.

Lenalee chuckled, switching into the new position. "Every girl says that."

"And now I know why."

Lenalee giggled. They switched arms and legs nearly falling in the process when the door to the room burst open. A shocked Allen came literally flying into the room followed by an even more shocked Lavi. Somehow, they managed to make it onto the bed without hitting any walls. Behind them came Cross, gnawing on an unlit cigarette, with a still-very-human-and-equally-naked Timcanpy attached to his leg. Antonio and Lovino scurried in behind him, skirting along the wall so they stood behind Lenalee.

"Get your shit together. We're leaving," Cross commanded, slamming the door shut and walking to the window. He jerked it open, lighting up and letting the smoke float out into the damp air.

"Wait. What? No. Why?" Allen stammered, trying to detangle his long limbs from Lavi's.

"Rouvelier's headed this way. Just heard that he was in France, a lot closer than we first thought when Link handed us the information. He's moving fast and we need to move you four." He pointed his cigarette at Kanda, then moved it to the pair standing against the wall, then finally at Lavi. "You don't want him finding out about your little girlfriend and her situation, do you?" Cross pinned his apprentice with a piercing gaze.

"No! Of course not!" Allen shouted irately, jumping to his feet.

"Then do as I say. All of you need to gather are the things you'll be taking," he told them, smoke slithering from his mouth and along his mask as he spoke, looking specifically at Kanda, "If it makes you feel any better, we'd been planning to move you all along, once you got larger and it became much more obvious. Most people don't know that you're pregnant and we'd like to keep it that way. We're going to feed them a white lie that you're away on a long-term mission so they spread a false rumor instead of the truth. The only people who will know who you are, are those trusted with the information."

He took a long drag, holding the smoke in his lungs for a moment before exhaling through his nose. "Now, you two." Antonio and Lovino jumped, shrinking against the wall in an attempt to make themselves smaller. "Since we want to see if this whole thing," he waved his hand vaguely in the direction of Allen and Kanda, "will work again, we're going to allow you conceive. We'll wait to bring the four of you back until whichever one of you decides to carry gives birth."

Smiles broke out over both Antonio's and Lovino's faces. Antonio latched onto Lovino without the other man's consent, and Cross rolled his eyes, turning to stare outside the window at the rainy scenery.

"You're going to have a baby?" Lenalee asked excitedly, clambering to her feet and grinning widely.

"Yes, it seems so," Lovino said. Though he was trying not to smile now, the happiness was all too obvious in his voice.

"That's fantastic!" Lenalee cried excitedly, jumping and clapping her hands, "I'm going to be an aunt to three children!"

"Yes, yes, that's all good and dandy. Now go collect your belongings or you'll be leaving here without them," Cross snarled menacingly.

The entire group burst into motion, unwilling to test the truth of his threat. Lavi followed by Lenalee, Antonio, and Lovino ran from the room, taking off in their respective directions towards their rooms. Allen and Kanda pulled the small suitcases they usually used from under the bed and tossed clothes in them haphazardly, effectively mixing all of their clothes together. They were finished in under five minutes seeing as they needed nothing else. Nearly ten minutes later, both couples returned carrying suitcases and duffel bags.

"Are you brats finally done?" Cross growled, dropping his cigarette butt out the open window, "We have exactly ten minutes to have our asses on a boat and headed to the Asia branch. We can't risk using the arc because those stuffed shirts at Central may detect us."

"We'll be traveling by boat and train all the way to the Asia branch, Master?" Allen asked, frowning as he followed the man out of his room.

"Yes. Your girlfriend isn't so fragile yet that she can't sit through travel," Cross answered tersely.

Kanda bristled. "Stop calling me that! I am not a girlfriend and I'm not fragile!" she snarled, resisting the urge to draw Mugen and cut his Achilles tendon.

"You're female right?"

The sudden question threw Kanda off for a moment. "Yes, for now," she replied cautiously, unsure of where this was going.

"You're dating and fucking my idiot apprentice, are you not?"

"I suppose so…"

"You're his girlfriend," Cross ended, pulling open a door that none of them had ever noticed before, cutting Kanda's retort short. The river roiled just outside the door, the rain pouring down. A boat rocked just on the river's surface. "Get in," he ordered, shoving the six of them through the door and shutting it firmly behind him.

**Well, there you go. Looks like we're finally headed to the Asia Branch like I'd been planning for a while, though I didn't mean for it to happen this early. Actually, I hadn't planned for any of this chapter, so there you go. Hope you all liked it. I think you should feed the review monster on your way out. She's been starving lately.**


	23. Chapter 23: The Asia Branch

**Wow, oh wow, I am so sorry for not updating for so long. It's been so hard to get any writing done since the school year started, even though, it feels, like I haven't done much of anything so far this year.**

**Disclaimer: I do now own D. Gray-Man**

Chapter 23: The Asia Branch

"Allen! You're back!" a small Asian girl cried, catapulting herself at the unsuspecting teen. She wrapped her skinny arms around his waist tightly, nuzzling his chest affectionately.

Flustered and confused, Allen had no idea what to do. He remembered the girl clearly, and the fact that Fo had once disguised herself as the girl to cheer him up. "Oh, uh, hi Lo Fwa," he finally mumbled, tentatively placing his hands on her shoulders, not needing nor wanting Kanda to derive anything from the action.

"Hey bitch," Kanda spat making Allen flinch, glaring at the girl with a ferocity that would have burned the offending human alive if looks could kill.

Lo Fwa peeled herself away from the soaking Allen and glared at the equally water-logged Kanda. Water dripped from Kanda's hair that hung loose around her shoulders and off her thick cotton dress. She looked her up and down, instantly becoming defensive. "That was extremely rude. What do you want? Why are you here?"

"I want you to get your fucking hands off of him," Kanda snarled, letting her hand tighten around the slip concealing Mugen.

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Lo Fwa growled back, stepping away from Allen and getting in her face.

Kanda was still taller than the girl and stared down her nose at the other female. "Well, let's count. 1) I fuck him on a daily, not nightly, daily basis. 2) He's **my** boyfriend, not yours. And 3) I'm pregnant with his demon spawn, so you can go suck it and stay away from him while you're at it."

"Yay, a cat fight!" Fo shouted excitedly, poking out of the ceiling with a wide grin, "Though it won't be much of a fight because even pregnant, she will kick your ass Lo Fwa!" She cackled, grinning as Timcanpy flew up to meet her.

"What?! That's so mean, Fo!" Lo Fwa whined up at her.

"So? Grow a pair already and stop acting like a prissy little wench, but don't try to stand up to her or she will rip your ovaries out and make them decoration pieces." She smiled at the open mouthed shock she'd gained from many of the others, completely calm with talking about someone's internal organs.

Lo Fwa paused in her next reply, really looking at where Fo had popped out from. "Hey, isn't that where Bak's room is?"

Fo's cheeks colored a red that could rival Cross' hair. "No, I don't know what you're talking about," she mumbled, disappearing back through the roof.

Timcanpy pouted before floating down to attach himself to Cross' back. "Princess, put your metaphorical dick away. We're going to my new lab to check you out before we do anything," Cross growled, brushing past the two Asian females, heading in no particular direction though he seemed to know where he was headed.

"Master," Allen whined, dropping his head against Kanda's shoulder, sighing loudly, "I'm starving. If I don't get food soon, I'm going to pass out." He slowly slid down Kanda's body until his face was pressed into her abdomen, nuzzling the slightly distended flesh. He wrapped his arms around her waist, keeping her in place. As if she was actually going to walk away.

"I second that, asshole," she spoke up, glaring at the back of the red-headed devil.

"Is there a reason you two are being a couple of whiney little bitches? I thought you were both men, or have you both grown vaginas instead of just one of you?" Cross shot over his shoulder, not even taking time to glance over his shoulder at them.

"I don't know, maybe we've been on boats and trains for the past week without stopping and haven't had a proper meal since we left HQ," Lenalee grumbled, her eyelids drooping in annoyance and a frown uncharacteristically curving down her lips, "You're the only one not ready to chew off their own arm in hunger, Cross."

"So hungry," Antonio and Romano complained, leaning heavily against each other.

Cross ground his teeth, snarling under his breathe, "Bunch of babies. Fine, if you're all so hungry then go and gorge yourselves like the little piglets you are, then all six of you need to go find my lab on your own. Don't come crying to me if you get lost." With those last words, he stormed off in some random direction.

"Who thinks he's going to get lost at some point?" Lavi asked, her hand shooting into the air. The rest of the group's hands flew into the sky along with Fo's, who had returned to listening to the complaining and fighting a little longer, and Low Fwa's.

"Definitely," Allen agreed, "Master has worse sense of direction than I do at times."

"He just doesn't know how to get around the new parts of the facility," Lo Fwa said, clutching her clipboard to her chest and rocking back and forth on her heels, "Speaking of which, I actually came down here to show you around. Chief Bak sent me since you already know me and I wasn't working on anything important today. So, where do you guys want to start?" She smiled widely, her eyes trained on Allen and pointedly ignoring Kanda's scathing glare.

"Cafeteria," they all decided in unison, nodding their heads.

…..

The group cautiously entered Cross' new lair, glancing around the smallish room surreptitiously. "Master Cross," Allen called, leading the pack though his fingers were crushing Kanda's in agitation, "Are you in here somewhere? Maybe?" He just had this feeling that Cross was going to pop out of nowhere and scare the ever loving fuck out of them.

"Where the fuck else would I be?" Cross growled as he rolled out from behind a curtain covering what most of the group assumed to be a cot. "You, miss pregnant princess! Get your ass over here and onto this cot. I need to measure your vital signs. And you, Mr. Gay Boy."

Antonio pointed to himself, taking the nickname before Lovino could assume it was for him and get all huffy.

"Are you the one planning to carry your hellion?" Cross asked, pushing the curtain aside and motioning for Kanda to get on it. She continued to glare at him, her feet planted, but he just ignored her.

Antonio shook his head, pointing towards Lovino who was standing just behind him, using him as a shield.

"I thought as much. So, Gay Boy, get your hiding ass over here and sit beside the Princess. Princess, if you don't get on this bed now, I'm not going to give you a sedative when you finally go into labor." He shoved his finger at the mattress before turning away to pull a silver tray laden with tools on it.

Wrinkling her nose in disgust, Kanda disentangled her fingers from Allen's and hopped onto the cot. She patted the sheets beside her, smiling menacingly at Lovino. He returned the smile without pause and hopped up beside her. For a long moment, their loves stare at them in shock, watching them start up a conversation about maiming techniques.

"Hey, Carrot Top," Cross called over his shoulder as he wrapped a cuff around Kanda's upper arm.

Lavi rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know, get on the cot," she replied, stepping in their directions.

"Fuck no," Kanda said immediately, glaring at the red-head.

"There is not enough room up here for all of us," Lovi shot at her.

Lavi scoffed, "You're asses are not that big. Scoot the hell over."

"Two words: fuck you," Kanda replied, sticking her tongue out at her.

"I don't want you there. Go stand in the corner," Cross ordered, pointing to a spot across the room from the duo.

Lenalee snickered, hiding behind her hand. "He's sticking you in the corner like a naughty child," she whispered, attempting to contain her laughter, "All you need now is a dunce hat and the picture would be complete." Lavi shot her a sulky grimace, trudging dejectedly towards the corner she'd been directed to.

"There should be a set of clothes over there. Change into them. I'm going to change you back. I don't know what effect that may have on this one," he slapped the inside of Kanda's elbow as indication, "So, just to be save we're sticking you over there."

"Oh," Lavi said, perking up, "Oh, alright! Sure!" She quickly stripped until she was only in her birthday suit, and then pulled on the clothing that had been left on one of the many metal tables around the room. "These are really big," she commented, stretching the pants out as far as they could go.

"Those are your clothes," Cross said, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling.

"What? Are you sure? They seem a lot bigger than they used to be," Lavi said skeptically, pursing her lips to the side.

"Yes, I'm fucking sure. I went through your clothing to find them," Cross snarled, pushing his way over to Lovino so he could run a basic check-up on the man before turning him into a girl, "By the way, you need to get rid of that gay porn hidden in the bottom of your underwear drawer. Get some real porn."

"What?!" Lavi cried, her face flushing crimson, "I don't hide porn in my underwear drawer! And I don't read gay porn!"

Lenalee looked to him, her eyebrows disappearing under her bangs. "Lavi, darling, is there something we need to talk about? Don't worry, I'm really understanding. It's okay if you don't like vagina anymore, I'll support you either way. As long as you don't start trying to go after Allen's or Kanda's dick." She smiled sweetly at her, clasping her hands together in front of her.

"He's lying!"

"I don't know, Master never lies when he sees porn," Allen countered, backing his master with a wicked grin.

"Would you guys stop picking on me?!" Lavi shouted indignantly, her voice pitching high. She gripped the front of her shirt, the seams screeching in protest.

"Why would we ever do that?" Lenalee asked sweetly, clasping her hands in front of her and rocking back and forth on her heels. Lavi wordlessly whined, puckering her lip out in a terrible pout.

Cross scowled at the teen, moving back over to a table. He picked up a small bottle filled with iridescent green liquid. "Hurry up, and then drink this shit. Don't you dare come over this way until everything is back in order, and then possibly an hour after that."

"What? Why?"

"Because I said so," Cross growled, roughly shoving the bottle into Lavi's chest, "Get a move on it before I shove my foot so far up your ass you're be able to fucking taste it." He turned away as Lavi flinched from both the threat and the pain of basically being punched in the boobs, snatching up another small bottle with dark blue liquids in it this time. "Gay Boy, you need to drink this. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Junior over there, and that's stay away from him after you drink this. We don't know what the effects will be if something mixes." He held the bottle out to Lovino, watching until the other man tentatively took it from his outstretched hand.

"Um, alright sir, but what is this supposed to do anyway?" he asked, holding the bottle up to the light and staring into the blue.

Cross rolled his eye, pulling open a drawer and tossing a pair of female clothes from its depths at the unsuspecting male. "Oh, I don't know, possibly turn your dick into a vagina. Something along those lines," he replied sarcastically, "Now drink."

Taking deep breathes and pulling the stoppers from the opening of their bottles, Lovino and Lavi locked eyes, nodded, and tipped their heads back to accept their respective liquids.

**WHELP! I hope you liked this chapter, at least a little bit. I really, really enjoy writing jealous Kanda for some reason. I think I'll add that it more often. I am so sorry that I haven't updated in what seems like forever. I'll try to be more consistent with updates from now on. See you next time!**


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